Hi there,

I have been playing poker for about 8 years now. I am posting under a different name because there are people that know me in the forums.

Although I played for a living for a little while back in 2008, I really never had any ambition to become a professional poker player. I am a slightly winning player, I won at 6 max SNG micros ($3.5 and $7), crushed at UB in the good old days and showed a profit in tournaments on all major sites apart from PS.
(I guess this is because of the larger fields and higher skill level and me being not good enough)



After 6 months playing for a living online in 2008/09 I started playing small stake live tournaments and always did decently. Although I probably spewed half of my winnings in cash games.

My best years were when I had a full time job and used to play on my free time. I put everything i had in every single tournament or SNG, like my life depended on it.

Then things changed...4 years ago I set up my own company and last year I started to make a decent living. This was about the same time when unlimited re-entry tourneys were introduced at my local casino.

The financial security combined with the fact that I could re-enter in tourneys made me careless and I started to play like a donk, as money meant less to me I spewed away a number of chips and buy-ins that I am really not proud off.

As January is a quiet month business wise, I started playing online again, then last night something happened. I spent half of my month's earning in tournament entries...the biggest part spent on a online day 1 of a 2-day live tournament. (2 bullets)

I guess we all feel the highs and lows of variance, of winning and losing, but a realisation came to me: I HAVE ALWAYS PUT POKER FIRST AND SACRIFICED MANY OTHER THINGS.

I have studied the game, subscribed to a number of training sites, listened to pod casts, read books and even hired a coach last year... but the reality is I lack the talent to be a consistent winner, tilt too easily and .have poor bank roll management.

Many times i have neglected my gf, family and friends to go to a tournament, went to lunches and meetings sleep deprived because of a late poker night, not put 100% into my business because the tiredness made me not care about it.

Because I was tired I did not exercise properly and because I was playing I did not eat properly.

I do not care too much about the money I lost, it won't change my life. What I am pissed off with myself about is the money I spewed playing when I was tired or not in the mood, registering in higher buy-ins than I should, playing cash games when I know it's minus EV for me...this money could have been spent on something more productive or on good causes

I honestly don't know how my gf coped with me at the beginning, but she did and I am truly grateful for that.

This morning I have deleted and uninstalled all my poker software (poker rooms, HM, Pokerstove..the lot), set up a deposit limit of $50 on PS and hset a buy in limit in tournaments and SNG at $5. This will allow me to play when i want to in the future, and until I rebuild my bankroll there won't be any more higher buy in tourneys, either live or online.

From now on poker comes last.

No more mid-week tourneys, no more missing gym classes to rush to a tournament, no more turning down work to go to a tournament. No more live higher buy ins.

I don't know what people will make out of this, I am not deluded and i do not have a gambling problem.

I am just writing this to get it off my chest and I am sure there are other people that can relate to this.

All the best

Gg op

See you next week

I love it when someone says they are going to quit poker and the first thing they do is come to a poker site to tell everyone.

I love it when someone says they are going to quit poker anonymously so that when they inevitably start playing poker again then no one will question them.

Genuine bro love from here, it sucks man. Hope things turn around.

See you on 888

The s/n user1234 shows a distinct lack of imagination and/or a lack of commitment on your part.

Maybe checkers or dealing blackjack or assembly line work might be a better fit for you?

Mate, the last time a couple I know realised I was going to play poker at the casino they took my GF on the side and asked her if I had a gambling problem, I am suprised I did not come home to find an intervention!

I could have posted this on my German Shepherd Forum or on my gym group on FB, but apart from worrying the gym group I doubt anyone would understand this sort of depression/frustration. I guess that's why when one goes to AA you talk to other alcoholics....

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

But you go to AA to talk to other people about quitting alcohol. You don't go to a pub crawl to talk about it. That's basically what you are doing by posting in a poker forum.

Also you wrote "set up a deposit limit of $50 on PS and hset a buy in limit in tournaments and SNG at $5. This will allow me to play when i want to in the future, and until I rebuild my bankroll there won't be any more higher buy in tourneys, either live or online."

So what you are saying is that you are not really giving up at all and you ultimately intend to end up back where you are.

By the way I have no issues if that is what you want to do, just don't sell it for something it isn't.

FYP

no op nothing will be fine. many will fail in this journey to not actually work for a living. but you cant be a pussy your whole life. you gotta go hard and not be afraid to sleep under the overpass a few nights in your life. i personally have seen eldorado a few times within hands reach and lost it. but im not a pussy so im going back for moar like should you.

^ One of the better FYPs; outstanding.

Always makes me laugh at how people used to play for a living or make bank back in 08 and sht and nowadays they get crushed...

Chat sht, get banged.

Oh yeah, see you in a week or so OP

Oh my dayz that FYP

LOL @ this gimmick. I wonder who it is.

OP, don't let your ego stop you from posting under your original sn.

Also, im done with poker, and with my lujuria.

My Lujuria will be destroyed. Promess.

NOW.

The only thing that i need is to keap this account alive. I will return to this account on June/July to post smashups of my channel.

All i ask is to not be banned.

There is no Spam HERe, only in your IMAGINATION


snif

This pretty much nails it op.

Now for a non-serious answer: Winners never quit and you just did.

Your lack of faith disturbddd me....

yup, just like Bubba J said, AA is for quitters...

hahahhaa the FYP in the thread,

Also, OP, stay strong, with dick in your hands, go straight through the hell to find the promised land.

Just make sure to let go of your dick once you get there, OP.

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

WALK OON WAAAALK OOOOON

lol morph