Cliffnotes: How I Became Homeless

Poker poker poker poker -> money money money money

Aug '09: Stress->Stress Meds->Couple of Drinks-> What planet am I on? ->sleep in parked car engine running ->.09 DUI -> "DOH!" -> lost job -> no money -> homeless . No more poker.

pee in bottle -> shower at bally's -> no license -> no insurance -> stay on the backstreets! -> sleep in car -> "did that lady see me naked?" -> apply apply apply -> new job -> work work work -> harassed by cops -> "YAY, totally going to rent a room!" -> "slow this year" -> let go. -> more pee in bottle -> sleep in car -> note to self: don't park near schools, someone might think you're a pedophile -


New Job -> hours limited -> work work work -> sleep in car -> "I don't care if that lady sees me naked" -> harassed by cops -> sleep in car -> " can people tell that I'm homeless by looking at me" -> why does my boss hate me? -> work work work -> "Good news. You're killing it! You're the top salesperson for the entire holiday season! You are one of the salespeople of the month! Your picture shall be up in the break room for all to see! Everyone in the store seems to love you, employees & customers alike. So we won't fire you. But unfortunately there is one manager who is still not convinced. So you'll only be scheduled for 8 hours a week"

-> sleep in car -> piss in street -> apply apply apply -> gas pumper, change beggar, tire scrubber -> "PENNIES OK!" "NICKELS OK!" "DON"T BE SCARED!" -> fell on the ground food eater -> fast food chicken asker for -> apply apply apply -> sign waiver, street dancer,

2-2010 "OMG are they about to break into my car? Can't they see that I'm inside?!?!? -> nightmare -> nightmare -> nightmare -> "Jesus, please assist me" -> light shines -> place for 2 weeks -> thank you Jesus! -> warm in here -> wow, beds are awesome -> work work work-> apply apply apply -> peanuts water -> peanuts water-> OMG -> 6 days left before I'm back in my car

That has to be up there with the hardest to read cliff notes that I've ever seen.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and wish you well.

is this for real?

dude get job at mc donalds get a pay cheque and just play 1/2 live set mine = profit

For anyone who doesn't want to ship money to the OP's poker accounts for fear of it being a fraudulent account (no), if you ship to me on FTP or Stars or w/e, i can ship it to him, or if i have to, drive out and give him cash (though it's likely an hour+ drive from my place).

There seems to be a few guys/girls from parttimepoker forum who posted in here who can prob vouch for me if you also think i'm a fraud (cds0699 would vouch i think).

The OP's situation is not a level, i've met him irl and he's a real nice guy, and if i was in a better spot i'd be helping him out but a few months of runbad has made that difficult.

Thank you for surprising me. I started this thread to have a laugh about a few hands I played. Guess I'm not the only one having a good laugh/entertained.

I would love to do this. If the food is warm and fresh this will be awesome.

you dont have a couch?! ....

I would be willing to send you a pizza/take out food.

pm info if dont want to post info, anytime after 5pm

Ok well.. someone pm me if they are willing to take my 35 on stars for their 35 on tilt.
If no one can you will need a stars account.

really try to find a couch to sleep on. that way you won't have to worry about paying rent money, and will prob be able to pay rent short-term by doing chores/cooking and such. since you go to a gym, make some friends and you'll probably get at least some help. just please don't resign yourself to sleeping in your car again.

probably the cheapest thing that will actually keep you sustained is to buy some store brand spaghetti and sauce and bingo, you have a good meal. sure it gets old, but $5 of pasta and sauce lasts like 4 days. and if you're really fancy, get some of that grated parmesan and romano cheese that comes in the green container. yum!

just steal food from super market pretty sure they wont do anything.

we took care of this

Not really, my gf sleeps on it cos she complains that our bed hurts her back (even though it doesn't hurt me at all). If I lived on my own he could definitely stay with me, but i'll have to ask if my gf would be ok with it (she doesn't know him), but with her sleeping on the couch, either he'd have to sleep on the floor or in bed with me...

if no one will trade, send it to kid0lover (hacienda heights) on stars, and i'll send it to Jared on ftp, or mail him cash or something.

Shipped already.
I want to see some binge eating!

a floor is better than a car

a car is better then outside though

+1

Whats the worst that can happen?

free housing, meals, and even guaranteed sexual activity!

OP, i'm in LA too, specifically sherman oaks. I need a personal assistant. I can pay decent for certain tasks..

go on craigslist and find a fat homosexual man to let you live in his house and feed you while you get your act together

yeah i'm gonna ask my gf... it's just not the easiest subject to bring up, ya know? "So, baby, this friend of mine is homeless and needs a place to stay..." considering she's never met this guy and all

It's really disturbing to see good people down like this man. As always, I root for you and commend your bravery for getting through this with a pleasant attitude. If I can get some manies on FTP this week I'll ship some to you.

Take care bud.

man this has to be a troll

lmao at how defeated u look in that video

really?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsf7jqHSji4