How To Be a Fish At a Casino - Page 6 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

1) Ask when the blinds go up
2) Try to go on about how good Moneymaker/Yang are
3) Keep asking "Is it on me" when it clearly is
4) When you raise instead of just saying "raise" say "re-raise" even though your the first raise (works pretty goot imo)

Quote

09-25-2008 , 05:43 AM

#128

Serpentstrike

enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 64

After a few minutes, write down some numbers like 40 15 3 (10) on a piece of paper for each player. Hand each of them the paper, a pencil and an eraser and ask them to hold it in front of them and keep it updated as they play.

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09-25-2008 , 05:43 AM

#129

Rythm

old hand

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,576

Frequently coldcall 3-bets from the blinds, then open fold the flops you miss while mumbling something about staying out of trouble.

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09-25-2008 , 05:44 AM

#130

thehempy

adept

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 976

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

what you need to do is get a friend to walk with yopu than when you pass the game you want to play at tell your buddy:

"Oh look its texas hold'em that game always on tv, lets play that"

your buddy than responds "no, lets just go play blackjack and craps, plus you dont know ho to play anyways so you will just be blowing money"

You: "ive watched it a couple times on tv it doesn't seem that hard..."

*sit down at table as buddy shakes his head and walks away"

this.

Quote

09-25-2008 , 05:44 AM

#131

piebear

old hand

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,764

Whenever you aren't involved in a hand, play subbuteo with your chips. Try to get the player opposite you involved by nudging single chips at him. If he shows resistance, throw your hat on the floor and ask him why he is such a 'wise guy'

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09-25-2008 , 05:52 AM

#132

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

When it's your turn to act, whether you have a real hand or not is up to you, say "ALL IN! Hahaha just joking. I check. No wait. I bet 8. Orrrr 10. No I just check." And then throw 10 dollars out.

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09-25-2008 , 05:55 AM

#133

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

When you are first to act, look at your cards, put a chip on them, and proceed to count out stacks of chips. Counting and counting, stacking and stacking. Do this until someone asks if you know if it's on you. Say, "Oh it is?" and then fold

I see this all the time live in the 1-2 game.

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09-25-2008 , 05:58 AM

#134

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

Pick a spot where it's folded to a late position player and he open min-raises and says something like "pot sweetener" when it's your big blind. Sigh really loud and flail your arms up and walk away from the table. Be sure to leave your hand protected so no one can take it.

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09-25-2008 , 05:59 AM

#135

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

Call clubs 'puppy feet'
Call hearts 'hurts'
Call diamonds 'demons'
Call spades 'shovels'

This will surely tilt the rockiest of players.

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09-25-2008 , 06:02 AM

#136

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

Compliment someone on how they have their chips stacked. Regardless of their reaction, say, "just kidding that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Fish."

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09-25-2008 , 06:09 AM

#137

JohnnyFondue

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 17,793

Get annoyed and tell everyone they are playing too slowly. Then ask the dealer if you are allowed to play more than 1 table at a time. When the dealer says no, ask him how you are supposed to win all these fishes money playing 35 hands/hr

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09-25-2008 , 06:24 AM

#138

Archie Karas

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 627

lol @ fold with your forehead. ahahaha.

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09-25-2008 , 06:31 AM

#139

steinarne

enthusiast

Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 83

Be a calling station and whenever someone makes an agressive move,give them a lecture telling them "this isn't the internet"

Make it real obvious youre going to fold a hand, push them half way in to the muck without releasing the hand while youre going through the hands he might have

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09-25-2008 , 06:31 AM

#140

El P

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,714

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

When it's your turn to act, whether you have a real hand or not is up to you, say "ALL IN! Hahaha just joking. I check. No wait. I bet 8. Orrrr 10. No I just check." And then throw 10 dollars out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Call clubs 'puppy feet'
Call hearts 'hurts'
Call diamonds 'demons'
Call spades 'shovels'

This will surely tilt the rockiest of players.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

Compliment someone on how they have their chips stacked. Regardless of their reaction, say, "just kidding that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Fish."

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyFondue

more like JohnnyFondon't amirite?

Quote

09-25-2008 , 06:37 AM

#141

CappieXL

grinder

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 617

openfold the nuts on the river in a small pot and tell villain he got lucky with the river. this will make you endless money for the next hours.

when your pair beats an overpair AIPF, tell the table that losing flips is part of poker

try to rake in a pot with a 4-card straight. get angry and show your yathzee score form when dealer takes the pot away from you.

ask the dealer what kind of drugs he sells.

in a tourney, just reload moneychips when you lose a pot.

in a cashgame, ask what the first prize is.

when the dealerbutton is on you, grab all the cards and start shuffling.

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09-25-2008 , 06:55 AM

#142

tschoa

journeyman

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 302

always say raise when betting - This is so true for all of them

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09-25-2008 , 07:13 AM

#143

SoUnreal

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,560

Quote:

Originally Posted by El P

more like JohnnyFondon't amirite?

hahahhaahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahaahahahah

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09-25-2008 , 07:26 AM

#144

PGarlic

grinder

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 612

Use a poker chip as a monocle, I've seen someone do this. So gross.

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09-25-2008 , 08:05 AM

#145

foal

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 3,599

Complain that 4 to a straight should count for at least something.

Quote

09-25-2008 , 09:05 AM

#146

doripoker

centurion

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 147

Quote:

Originally Posted by cables

Tell them that you like to call AK "Anna Kournikova". Pause to give the table a chance to ignore you. Ask if they want to know why. Pause again. Smile broadly and explain that AK "looks good but never wins". No-one will care. At this point you should turn to the guy to your left and give a full explanation of the joke and Anna Kournikova's tennis career.

This works best if someone at the table has just lost a huge preflop all-in with AK against a pocket pair lower than sevens, something which happens about once an hour in live poker.

This made me laugh so hard.

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09-25-2008 , 09:28 AM

#147

dallas14

old hand

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,290

idk if this has been said already

but when its your big blind, and the dealer says you're big. give him a wink and say 'oh i know'

THIS ****ING TILTS ME LIKE CRAZY!!