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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 09-24-2008, 08:42 PM   #1
The_Taj
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How To Be a Fish At a Casino

What are some things to do at a poker table to immediately get people to think you're a fish? (at a Live Game)


Some examples:


-When you get your holecards and it's your turn to act say "Hit Me!"

-Assuming you're playing NLHE, ask if aces can be used for High or Low

-If in a cash game, ask how rebuys you're allowed to have

-Wear a Moneymaker t-shirt

-Keep drawing attention to the table's "chipleader" if in a cash game

-Ask the dealer permission to use the bathroom

-Ask where the hole card camera is

-Keep trying to post the BB in any positoin

-After you get 1 hole card immediately fold

-On the river ask if you can buy a 6th card

-When counting out chips always do it in stacks of 1 chip

-Use a bowling ball for a card protector

-In a cash game, ask when the blinds are going up

-Keep looking around and asking where Mike and Vince are

-Always ask whats the most you can raise

-Raise all bets by $1

-Whenever you get a suicide king or one-eyed jack play it like it's wild

-Ask if you can phone a friend

-When it's your turn to act roll two dice across the table

-Show everyone your chip trick, which is just throwing a chip as high as possible

-Stack your chips like a castle with an entrance for your holecards

-fold your cards with your forehead


aight im out of ideas, gimme your best BBV
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:43 PM   #2
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Ive only been to a casino like 5 times but I've seen all these at every table I've played at
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:44 PM   #3
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

lol
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:44 PM   #4
eastern motors
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Drink as much as possible. That is just to make live tolerable actually.
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:45 PM   #5
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

- when you playing a form of omaha and its ur turn to act hand the dealer 2 cards and say " Ill take 2"
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:49 PM   #6
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Try rolling a chip across the table every 5 minutes
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:50 PM   #7
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

where a jumpsuit with eyeholes
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:50 PM   #8
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Bring a huge watermelon half to the table and eat from it all night
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:51 PM   #9
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Sit down and say your doyle brunson's brother's grandson's friend so watch out
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:51 PM   #10
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

oh this is good, im gonna try some of these next time i play. i think folding after getting one card is my fav
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:52 PM   #11
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Tell everyone you have millions of playchips online
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:53 PM   #12
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Tell stories about how you bubbled a freeroll last night and go on and on about how you almost won $.80 and got a huge bad beat
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:54 PM   #13
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Ask the dealer really loud if there are always so many fish at this casino
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:54 PM   #14
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

what you need to do is get a friend to walk with yopu than when you pass the game you want to play at tell your buddy:

"Oh look its texas hold'em that game always on tv, lets play that"

your buddy than responds "no, lets just go play blackjack and craps, plus you dont know ho to play anyways so you will just be blowing money"

You: "ive watched it a couple times on tv it doesn't seem that hard..."

*sit down at table as buddy shakes his head and walks away"
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:55 PM   #15
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Tape a piece of paper with your online poker name to your forehead
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:57 PM   #16
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Have a friend call your phone while ur at the table, and answer it with "Hey Phil Ivey", then go on and on like your discussing hands with him while saying the most ridiculous poker strategy you can think of......then hang up and say "****ing fish"
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:58 PM   #17
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

After every hand you fold stand up, point at to the dealer and say "I can dodge bullets baby!"
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:58 PM   #18
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Furiously write notes on a notepad all night and if anyone asks say it's for a poker book you're writing
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:59 PM   #19
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

when u have the ace of spades comment on the brand of playing cards it is, and also say "ooo the prettiest card in the deck!"
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:59 PM   #20
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

While wearing normal clothes where a cowboy hat and a pair of shades and stare down everyone when its their turn to act, even when ur not in the hand.
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:02 PM   #21
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Quote:
Originally Posted by demon102 View Post
While wearing normal clothes where a cowboy hat and a pair of shades and stare down everyone when its their turn to act, even when ur not in the hand.
This happens about 90% of the time I play live.

lot of lol ITT
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:04 PM   #22
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Bring 7 items of fruit to the table, and when people ask why you have them say you saw Johnny Chan with an orange on tv so why not just have more lucky fruit than him
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:05 PM   #23
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

-wear a cowboy hat
-have bewbs
-wear pokersite gear
-discard all but one of your cards and yell "UNO"
-have a tattoo "say yes when nobody asks"
-be beth shak
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:05 PM   #24
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Taj View Post
Tape a piece of paper with your online poker name to your forehead
i have mine printed on the back of a FTP jersey. It has miniature poker chips embedded in the collar that make me good.
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:05 PM   #25
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Re: How To Be a Fish At a Casino

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Taj View Post
Have a friend call your phone while ur at the table, and answer it with "Hey Phil Ivey", then go on and on like your discussing hands with him while saying the most ridiculous poker strategy you can think of......then hang up and say "****ing fish"
that just made me lol very hard, but i would be more like "Hey Phil blablablabla blablalbla okay Dr Ivey cya later..."
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