50nl 6max WSOP/888nj 3/25/2019 around 11:00pm EST

(not looking at actual hand so can't account for rake, recalled from memory)

Scene 1

Effective Stack: $50

UTG (hero who goes by the handle Lagtard): Ad Ks raise $1.50
Folds to
Button (villain): calls $1.50
Fold SB and BB

Pot: $3.75
Flop: 6d Jc Jd

Hero: bet $2.50
Villain: Calls $2.50

Pot: $8.75
Turn: 2c

Hero: Check
Villain: Check

Pot: $8.75
River: 9d (6d Jc Jd 2c 9d)
Hero: Bet $6
Villain: tanks, uses up most of time bank then calls with JTss (3 of a kind JJJ)
Villian scoops the pot $20.75
In chatbox:
Hero: "Thought that would work with the A diamond blocker NH"
Villain: "That may work against fish but not against me. Nice try donk."

Scene 2

Effective Stack $50

HJ (hero): QQ (forget suits not relevant) bets: $1.50
Folds to same Villain in the SB: calls $1.50

Pot $3.50
Flop: 5 5 A

Villian : $1.75
Hero calls: $1.75

Pot: $7

Turn: K

Villain: checks/calls $4.50
Hero: $4.50

Pot $16
River: Q (5 5 A K Q)

Villain: checks
Hero: bets $24 (QQ)
Villain instacalls with AJ
Pot: $64 goes to our hero Lagtard

Villain in chatbox: "you really are a Lagtard you just play Queens to the river with two overcards on the board"

Hero: "I'm surprised that overbet worked, it usually only works on FISH!!!!!"

*Drops the mic*

Tell your mom she left her toothbrush at my place. Thanks.

She told me to tell you she just tested HIV positive.

Good thing you can't catch it twice.

Good thing I was at the end of the line and didn't even get the chance to stuff it in then. Although she does probably need to make about 47 calls right now.

This is OP's best attempt at a thread and its still terrible. Give up OP

The thread and my comment to villain were both HOF. No one criticizes people at the bottom. Only those at the top. Biggie Smalls was right.

fyp

owow

okay