Fake "pros" - Page 3 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

HustleTuxedo Profile

AGE:33
Sex:Male
City:Gatineau
Country:Canada

Profile
How long have you been playing? Since March 2012

How did you get into poker?
I needed to win "achievements" in the video game "Red Dead Redemption" beating players playing Texas Hold Em. I've taught myself how to play and I can out play anyone. I have a math equation that lets me figure out sure fire winners for any 2 cards. It's a 5 figure formula so don't bother trying to learn it for free. No one plays by it. No one. I've done my research.

What games / stakes do you normally play?
I started off with NO money so I play micro stakes since I follow strict and proper bank roll management

Which sites are your favourite?
PokerStars

What is your favourite hand, and why?
A hand in poker is 5 cards. I'd have to say my favourite hand is a Royal Flush.

What is your best poker moment?
Winning first cash in a 1.35 KO tourney on PokerStars in the first 5 months of playing online for real money. I beat over 7500 other players. Most people have played for years and not won something that big. I turned 1.35 into 1069. I know since it's only 1000 it's not impressive. Beating 7500 players means nothing cause it was only for 1.35

http://www.pokerwinners.com/componen...edo&Itemid=505

Last edited by RussellinToronto; 03-13-2015 at 09:12 AM.

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03-13-2015 , 09:52 AM

#54

wednesday

banned

Join Date: Mar 2015 Posts: 50

this thread is just as exciting as fake titties

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03-13-2015 , 10:31 AM

#55

Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 8,132

Five stars.

Sick ride bro!

Quote:

I carried this fuel door with me for 10 years. It went to Australia, the UK, across Canada and through numerous residence changes. Now it's back on my Tracker.I think that's an awesome little story. All of it true.

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03-13-2015 , 01:04 PM

#56

Xyphox

centurion

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 122

Quote:

I have a math equation that lets me figure out sure fire winners for any 2 cards.

Quote:

I follow strict and proper bank roll management

Why do you need bank roll management if you can win with any 2 cards? Just win every single hand. You'll have millions in a just a few days.

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03-13-2015 , 03:36 PM

#57

Pyrochaos

adept

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 778

I just figured out the math equation that lets me figure out how to win with any 2 cards:

Spoiler:

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03-13-2015 , 03:59 PM

#58

shoeshinebox

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 409

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzikijohnny

Will someone please start fake threads like this. I really needed the laughs I got here since my Ma died.

sorry about your moms. it is good tho that you laugh wherever you may find them. gd lk.

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03-13-2015 , 07:29 PM

#59

disasterflop

old hand

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,619

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyrochaos

I just figured out the math equation that lets me figure out how to win with any 2 cards:

Spoiler:

HustleTuxes mount up!

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03-13-2015 , 07:46 PM

#60

rocketragz

old hand

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,297

Quote:

Originally Posted by disasterflop

HustleTuxes mount up!

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
HustleTuxes was on the streets, trying to consume
some skirts for the eve, so he can get some funk
just rollin in his ride, chillin all alone

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03-13-2015 , 08:05 PM

#61

batair

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 16,802

Quote:

Originally Posted by DougL

Also, how is OP not banned? That's a mystery.

I wouldn't try it he probably has a system.

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03-13-2015 , 08:46 PM

#62

TooRareToDie

banned

Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 4,303

Quote:

Originally Posted by magking1

Jason Koon?

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03-13-2015 , 09:27 PM

#63

John_Dory

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 596

I'll consider staking you OP but first I want to see your Poker Tracker stats from when you were grinding Red Dead Redemption.

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03-14-2015 , 02:53 PM

#64

News777

adept

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 772

Somebody must be making money. Every time you turn around a "Pro" is buying a Lamborghini, Bentley or Tesla. They sit in suites at the Superbowl and courtside for NBA final games.

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03-14-2015 , 06:09 PM

#65

dysleksick

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 101

That Vanessa Selbts really sucks

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03-15-2015 , 02:28 AM

#66

Dallas,Texan131

centurion

Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 192

He's clearly a rake back grinder, and the reason he needs staking because of his lavish lifestyle (like that sweet scion)

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03-15-2015 , 06:55 AM

#67

evildeadalive

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 5,157

Maybe Vanessa got it in on the 2nd hand with AQ because she also has a system that enables her to win with any two cards. Did you ever think of that OP?

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03-15-2015 , 11:29 AM

#68

Tutejszy

veteran

Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 2,643

quotation marks usually already indicate that something is fake, so it would appear that op is actually talking about people pretending to not be real pros, while in fact being pros

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03-15-2015 , 02:28 PM

#69

lolwasntme

journeyman

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 259

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tutejszy

quotation marks usually already indicate that something is fake, so it would appear that op is actually talking about people pretending to not be real pros, while in fact being pros

Trying too hard. Are you OP?

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03-15-2015 , 03:00 PM

#70

freestreetcommando

journeyman

Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 220

Quote:

Originally Posted by BulltexasATM

Vanessa has said she had a blocker to AA and thought with her tight image after folding the first hand that the villain couldn't call with any other hand at that stage of the tournament. Don't you know anything about poker strategy?

She made sure she wasn't going to get called unless she was beat. I don't call that much of a poker strategy.

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03-15-2015 , 03:11 PM

#71

Gzesh

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 7,733

Quote:

Originally Posted by freestreetcommando

She made sure she wasn't going to get called unless she was beat. I don't call that much of a poker strategy.

I did not see the hand, but didn't OP say this shove was pre-flop ?

Freestreet, can you explain how someone holding AQ is already "beat" preflop ? I understand the AQ hand may be behind, and do not address whether the play was +EV, but seriously .... how was AQ "beat" already preflop ?