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EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again

04-01-2009 , 12:28 AM
i said POT POT!!!....I thought we were chopping!
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04-01-2009 , 12:44 AM
hahah good bump. if only bbv was like this nowadays
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04-01-2009 , 12:46 AM
I saw this the first time and it is just as funny
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04-01-2009 , 01:15 AM
Can't

breathe
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04-01-2009 , 01:25 AM
I've laughed at this all 3 times I've read it.
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04-01-2009 , 01:54 AM
seriously one the best things i've read on 2p2. So funny.
EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again Quote
06-17-2011 , 06:56 AM
Joey Croissant: "Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?"

Michel: "After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed.

best part
EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again Quote
06-17-2011 , 08:54 AM
Agree that this never gets old. I read it in the archives every 6 months or so. It kills me every time.
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06-17-2011 , 01:28 PM
very nice OP
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06-17-2011 , 05:38 PM
gotta start playing plo :P
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06-17-2011 , 05:47 PM
pot
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06-17-2011 , 07:02 PM
Pot
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06-17-2011 , 07:05 PM
how do you pronounce "boorish"

boo-rish?

bore-ish?

bru-ish?
EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again Quote
06-17-2011 , 07:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeyN8itsDan
how do you pronounce "boorish"

boo-rish?

bore-ish?

bru-ish?
2nd one
EuroRounder: from he archives needs to be seen again Quote
06-18-2011 , 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by brycead
hahah good bump. if only bbv was like this nowadays
especially this nowadays

Come on bbv we need more gold like this

POT
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06-18-2011 , 08:56 AM
Can someone write a S****horpe Rounders? Or something equally as random? That would be funny also IMO.
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06-18-2011 , 09:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Channidae
Can someone write a S****horpe Rounders? Or something equally as random? That would be funny also IMO.
I tired to write an online rounders script, but always felt like trying to replicate the mona lisa with MSPAINT after Eurorounders.


Online Rounder’s Script Part 1

[Man Narrating(Micky)] Listen, here's the thing.
If you can't spot the fish in your first half hour on the site,
then your not running tracking software, so you are the fish

Guys on forums will tell ya... they play for a living.
When there really playing micro stakes,
It’s like any other job, not that I’ve had one, I’m fourteen,
You don’t gamble, you chip dump and buy accounts,
Your goal is to win one big tournament a week, that's it.
Get your money in with any old ****, and pray that you hit
Don't fold anything. Ever.

[Logging onto a poker site]

This is Russ Hamilton’s place UltimateDebt,
You won’t find it in the Yellow pages,
Because it’s in Nicaragua,
Or some other 3rd world **** hole with no extradition treaty
But if you're looking for high stakes,
this is the only site on the web where you can still deposit from the US
Using your Dad’s master card with no ID verification

[Pointing at screen]

His avatar doesn't look like much, a chimpanzee smoking a cigar
but KGB77698_Balla has five million posts on 2 + 2.
He's the one guy in the online game you don't want to **** with.

Msn chat box pops up

Knish_247 is an online legend.
He's been an online rounder, earning his living at cards...
since he was 18 years old, that’s nearly 2 years which makes him a veteran in the online game

[Typing on MSN]

(Knish_247) What are you doin, sitting 25/50?
(Rounder22789) Um, I'm reserving a seat for a Headz up 4 rollz game.
(Knish_247)- LOL Donkuargumanets. - [sends chuckle, emoticon]
'Cause I hope you're not thinking of putting more then 5% of your roll in play?
[Narrating] He's as close to a friend as there is on 2+2.
[Narrator] But tonight, I don't want to deal with him.

(Rounder22789) - I can beat the game. –
(Knish_247) Maybe. Maybe this is a game can be beat. But you know you can beat the Sit and Go’s on Ipoker
(Rounder22789) yeah but the software makes be vomit, and I want to shove all in everytime the little French guy with the beret makes a raise.
(Knish_247) Okay. I understand, back to battle.

[Starting to play online]

[Micky Narrating] The game in question is Unlimited Texas Holding Them.
And a game like this doesn't come together often outside of Full Tilt
The stakes attract live pro’s,
and they in turn attract the online sharks.
Unlimited Texas Holding Them. Is the GW Bush of poker, its very simple.
Each player is dealt two cards face down.
Five cards are then dealt face up across the middle.
These are community cards everyone can use to make the best five card hand.
The key to the game is playing the man, not the cards. Or being very lucky,
There's no other game in which fortunes can change so much from hand to hand.
A brilliant player can get a strong hand cracked, go on tilt...
and lose his mind along with every single chip in front of him.
This is why the World Series of Poker is decided over an Unlimited Texas Holding Them table.
Some people, pros even, won't play No-Limit.
They can't handle the swings.
But there are others, like Doyle Brunson,
who consider No-Limit the only pure game left.
Like Papa Smurf said..."I’m all-in Gargamel, And you can suck my blue balls."

[Micky Narrating] Here's the beauty of this game.

[Text appers in the chat box]

(KGB77698_Balla) Go ahead, Dick. Make your standard C-Bet.

[Micky Narrating] I just got top two pair on the flop,
and I want to keep him in the hand.
Against your average guy, I'd set a bear trap, hardly bet at all.
Let him walk into it. But KGB77698_Balla is too smart for that.
So, what I've got to do is over-bet the pot,
make it look like I'm trying to buy it.

[Micky Typing in the chat box]

(Rounder22789) I bet 192.63

[Micky Narrating] Then he plays back at me, and I get paid off.

(KGB77698_Balla) I call because I need the money to pay your mumma to suk my dick.

[Micky Narrating] My guess is KGB77698_Balla on a flush draw.

The sites software say’s in a robotic voice; Burn and turn.

[Micky Narrating] There's my money card, nine of hearts.
I got a full house.

Both Check

[Micky Narrating] Now I hope a spade falls and KGB77698_Balla makes his flush.
That way he'll bet strong, and I'll beat him with my nines full over aces.

(KGB77698_Balla) I'm going to bet... Bet... 674.67

Clicks on the Time button.

[Micky Narrating] I want him to think that I'm pondering a call,
but all I'm really thinking about is posting this hand on the interweb.

(Rounder22789) I'm gonna go all in, 'cause I think you’re a pussaaaaa.

KGB77698_Balla waits then requests time and then types in

(KGB77698_Balla) You been pw’ned beyatch!

[Micky Narrating] I know before the cards are even turned over.
Man, I lost all my money, my whole roll.
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06-18-2011 , 02:14 PM
pot
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06-18-2011 , 02:25 PM
I laughed for 72 minutes.

5*
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06-18-2011 , 08:28 PM
re-pot!
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06-18-2011 , 11:22 PM
Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."



Genius.
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06-19-2011 , 12:05 PM
there's a total of 98 minutes of laughing in the first story.
Spoiler:
pot
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06-19-2011 , 12:11 PM
I laughed for forty-three minutes
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06-19-2011 , 12:17 PM
Nice
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06-21-2011 , 05:19 AM
pot
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