Degen Stories.... - Page 60 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

Just remembered another story to add. Once at Turning Stone I had $17k in my safe (don't remember how much I started with that trip, probably $5k or so). Me and some buddies had a pretty crazy night, drank a ****load in our room and blacked out. I wake up the next morning, look in my safe expecting the worst, and to my surprise there is $17k still in there. I turn to a buddy who hadn't been drinking and say "wow, we drank at Tstone but didn't gamble? What the hell did we do all night?". He looks at me like I'm nuts and says, "dude, you gambled."

The following is the story I pieced together from friends and pit bosses of my night after blacking out at about 7pm.
I roll down with the posse to the craps tables with all $17k in chips, all the tables are pretty crowded and me and 3 of my friends all want to play together, so I flash my diamond card and $5000 chips and demand they open up a new table for us (all the tables were also $5 minimum which means every ****bum there will be playing). Apparently they didn't want the drunk whales money, because they decline me a table, so instead we act rowdy, loud and annoying behind some old people who are betting $5 on the pass with no odds until they leave and we step in. I start betting $1600 across on every roll and losing hard. I keep throwing well but everyone else is sucking ass and I'm not superstitious enough to just bet big when I'm rolling, so I keep losing. It goes like this for 2 hours or so, and suddenly I only have $600 left in front of me. My buddies suggest we just go play poker or something so we can at least enjoy it instead of me just throwing it on 6 or 8, I tell them to go **** themselves and bet it on the 6. The lady rolling looks at me nervously, then throws a 6. I use the winnings to place $600 on the 8 and $100 on the 4. She rolls an 8. I put $500 on the 5 and add $200 to my 4. This goes on for a while with her hitting each new number I place, but I keep $0 in the rail, insisting on betting every cent that I win from my hits. Eventually I look at the board and realize I have almost exactly $17k out there ($17150 or something). As she is about to roll I yell MY BETS ARE ALL DOWN, the dealer's all love me so the guy quickly books my action, roll comes a 7, I take down the money, tip the dealers the extra $150 and get a comp for the nasty ass late night food they have at the Emerald. After that, went to the room, smoked a bowl, puked all over the bathroom and then passed out.

Sorry for TLDR.

Cliffs: Started night with $17k, got drunk, woke up with $17k, patched together the story that I had gone $17k to $600 back to $17k and then to sleep.

coll story bro

i enjoyed reading it

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03-26-2010 , 02:59 PM

#1477

M.A.H.P.'s

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,678

just for future degen story tellers: as far as im concerned there will NEVER be a "tl/dr" from me. make these stories AS LONG AS YOU WANT! more story=more entertainment.

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03-26-2010 , 04:57 PM

#1478

kalv

veteran

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,104

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sendarianbluffs

I checked him out holly ****

2$ away from losing 2 mill and his best day was only 18K

i feel better about my poker playing now but feel bad for this guy wow

I hope its Bill Gates

Isn't scout326, the russian billionaire the owns chelsea.

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03-26-2010 , 07:53 PM

#1479

texan1382

grinder

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 602

robhimself, you need to hire a personal assistant to follow you around. Everytime you break $50K, he has to pull you away from the tables, lol. It sounds like you have sick runs.

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03-26-2010 , 10:33 PM

#1480

myggenx

journeyman

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 247

I played really well for a couple of weeks at NL100 and PLO100 for like 2½ weeks and won 4k$ that i was going to use on a travel to the US. Then today i got a bit unlucky playing PLO and lost like 800$. Got really tilted and decided to take a shot at 5/10 NL. 10 hands in or so i get dealt AKs in the SB, i 3B CO pre-flop raise, he calls. The board comes AKx with two clubs. I bet 3/4 pot, he calls, and the turn comes a non-club Q. I bet 3/4 pot again he raises me all-in and ofc i know im beat at this point, but impossible to fold when on tilt, so i call and he shows JTcc. River blanks, i just lost 1k$ and i'm down 2k$ for today.

Now i have to grind a million hands of ****ty 100NL if i wanna win my money back. FML

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03-26-2010 , 10:47 PM

#1481

iJack

banned

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,947

Quote:

Originally Posted by myggenx

www.bankrollmanagement.com

+1

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04-09-2010 , 05:30 PM

#1482

bass3p

grinder

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 611

anyone have any stories on fulltilt's superturbos?
ive dropped atleast 1k on 6 occasions on these mother****ers, my bankroll has been ****ing stuck at around 2000 for the longest ****ing time. ****ing disgusting that 66 loses to a6 and a8 loses to a2, ****.

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04-13-2010 , 07:38 PM

#1483

johnnyballgame

stranger

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 11

Where I am from they hold a live monthly $250 freezeout tournament. They generally get between 30 and 50 entrants, making 1st place around $5k.
I am one of those players that does well when my back is against the wall and I need to cash; which was the case Sunday. $5K would put me back on track and that was my focus.....After the break, I was above the average stack in chips and knew I was playing really well. Around the 6th level, I am really accumulating chips and I am one of the chip leaders when this hand happens: I have 66 in the cutoff and UTG +1 makes a standard 3x raise. Everyone folds and I flat. Flop is J 6 2 rainbow. He leads a pot size bet into me. Having played with this player on numerous occasions, I know he is strong. Most likely and Overpair or AJ, so I choose to flat call again. The turn is a brick and he leads for half his stack (which is about 1/3 of my stack). Knowing he has to call my all in, I move in. He doesn't like it but calls and turns over AJ and I table my 6's. I was soooo happy. Only two tables left and I am a huge chipleader. I am guaranteed to make the money....The dealer burns and puts out the river and..All HELL breaks loose. People are diving on the floor!! Running for doors! but they don't get anywhere because 5 Afro Americans are standing there with guns and one is throwing some dude to the floor. I am like WTF, is this real. Everybody is on the floor but me and one of those Afro Americans says "you get on the floor". I can't help but notice he has some old frayed ski mask on. Then my eyes dart to the other one who has a shirt tied around his head covering half his face. I am heading for the floor, when I remember my I-Pod and Droid phone are still on the table. I am like F this and reach up behind my back and grab them both. He yells again, "keep your hands on your head MFer." I don't reply, but now I am taking the money out of my front pocket and shoving it into my boot. On my right some chic is sobbing and crying and I am like please stop. Their ringleader yells out, "I got it let's go" and they tear out of there, jumping stuff and running like those NBA thugs. Everyone gets up and starts milling around in the kitchen area where some dude got pistol whipped twice when they came in. Somebody gets him a bag of ice to put on his head but I don't see any blood or anything so I am not to concerned. Apparently he is the only one that lost anything; because he had $4500 on him they thought he ran the tournament and basically saved the rest of us. Since the tournament money was intact, I suggested we resume it. Everyone looked at me like I was a ****** on heroin. I got my $250 refunded back to me and skulked out. Those damn Afro Americans ruined everything.

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04-13-2010 , 08:05 PM

#1484

flyingtucan

enthusiast

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 76

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyballgame

Gotta love em.

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04-13-2010 , 08:07 PM

#1485

Degenballa

banned

Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 365

Quote:

I got my $250 refunded back to me and skulked out. Those damn Afro Americans ruined everything.

i would sue the tourney director. seriously.

If anybody tried that with me i wouldnt leave the casino until i got a fair share of the price pool

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04-13-2010 , 08:33 PM

#1486

herebigfishy

banned

Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,136

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrAmazing

I thought I would post another........

Hopefully this will make everyone feel better about themselves.
This is 100% true story.

5 years ago I stated playing home games with a group of approx 6 friends.
We were all donks but enjoyed our $10 buy-in games.

I deposited $20 on "pokerroom"
1 week before xmas I ran my $20 to $3600 in a few hours.
I cashed out full amount and bought a nice couch.

After that I started depositing $20 - $50 at a time to various sites.
Zero bankroll mngt and deposited approx 50 + diff times, zero cashouts.
I worked full time, so I just used my money to play, no real savings.
Over a 1 year period I stopped talking to ALL my friends, stopped seeing a nice girl and really had zero money except my $1000 check every 2 weeks.

I played a "freeroll" tourney I qualified in and won $45k.

Over a period of 2 years I blew the $45k on eating out, poker deposits, and lost 10k in stock market. I took 6k to vegas and played 1.5k wsop tourney.
I got sucked out on in the tourney, got tilted and took 4k to caesers and put on roulette black...red hit. I only had 10 bucks to my name in vegas for 3 more days....then flew home.

I would go play 2/5nl at local poker room....take a bad beat, then take all my money to blackjack and lose....happened 20+ times.

Various times I would rush my $300 stack to 2k plus and then go to blackjack table to blow it....then go to bank machine and take out all my money for blackjack.....i would lose....then I would go home, get a payday advance...go to blackjack....i would lose....i would go home and count my change....i would live on $20-$60 in change til my next paydate....
rinse/repeat.

Then I stated depositing via "echeck" would lose and bounce my echeck.
I did this on 4 different sites and obv got banned.
I owed apporx $1500.00 and never paid, went on my credit report.

After blowing thur my 10k savings with pokerdeposits I only really had a few hundred bucks with no savings and zero credit. Only my 1k every 2 weeks from work.

My mother got sick, so I moved to my parents upper level apartment they could not rent out and now help out with $$$ by paying them rent for there mortage

So...as of today......

I am 33yrs old, I have exactly $200 cash to my name, I owe a payday loan place $500.00, zero online money, I live with my parents, I have ZERO friends, I put on 100lbs in 2 years and am up to 300lbs, I eat like crazy, I'm starting to get chest pains daily so I think I have another major problem.

Over the last few weeks, I will sometimes take a 10min break from work and go to the bathroom to cry about my life and my situation.

But I get paid next week so I can make another deposit online...ship it!

winner!!

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04-13-2010 , 08:50 PM

#1487

Davino

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 7,552

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoMeansNo

scout326 is averaging over a half a buyin in losses per 100 hands over 75K hands. lmao

must be some insanely rich lunatic. Maybe Guy???

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04-13-2010 , 09:34 PM

#1488

M.A.H.P.'s

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,678

lol, racist ban?

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04-14-2010 , 12:25 AM

#1489

Goose bumps

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 2,505

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyballgame

Those damn Afro Americans ruined everything.

Racist ban imo.

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04-14-2010 , 12:47 AM

#1490

badbeatinc88

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Codecci

gold

LMFAO yes! Minneapolis FTL

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04-14-2010 , 01:26 AM

#1491

TurnEMLOOSE

banned

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 230

Reading these storys wants to make me quit gambling.

17 year old friend turns 2K into 90K in 5 days online and blows it in 2 hours 25/50NL hu.

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04-14-2010 , 01:27 AM

#1492

badbeatinc88

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 218

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrAmazing

most messed up post ive ever read, i feel like crying for the poor bastard

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04-14-2010 , 01:38 AM

#1493

badbeatinc88

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 218

Quote:

Originally Posted by O.A.F.K.1.1

If someone can teach me how to degen 100$ upto 10K in 1 day I will teach them how to stop there.

lmfao so true

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04-14-2010 , 04:01 AM

#1494

lildavefish

journeyman

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 341

Me and 2 mates got very very drunnk last weekend, found ourselves in the casino playing pokers at 6am, after loosing and being very rowdy I went over to roulette gg'd some more money then pretty much got thrown out - we then hit the shop below and bought £500 ($800) worth of scratchcards. Went back to mine scratched them saw that we had won £72 so flipped a coin to see who had to go back cash them in for more scratchcards and ask the girl out on the counter!

I lost, went back cashed them in, after iv used all my charms on her this was how the convo went...

ME: " how much would i have to win for you to go out with me"
HER: "£10,000,000"
ME: "really, i have £8,000,000 is that enough?"
HER: "no"

on the way home 2 women jumped me and tried to steal the new scrtachcards had to wrestle the scratchcards back, got home started doing 3-way £100 flips and £50 roshambo's and then played "set the world record line" where 1 person reads a world record and then everyone else chinese auctions for the line.

fell asleep in a big pile of scratch cards - woke up 5 hours (still quite drunk) later went for a sunday dinner (lost the flip) then came home and played 2000 hands of full ring nlhe and won $3k freerolled all the sunday majors bust out of everything then went to local casino at 4am to play there and lost some more! had to go see my parents at 11am as well and went there striaght from the casino after 5 hours sleep from the last 60. Came straight back to my house got ready then went to manchester 60 miles away to play a tournament. Didn't win came home at about 10pm slept solidly till midday yesterday.

still have some scratchcards to cash in plus some tickets to tonights lottery!shipppppppp ittttttttt

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04-14-2010 , 07:38 AM

#1495

Mr.Happy

adept

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 766

Quote:

Originally Posted by lildavefish

£50 roshambo's

Hardcore.

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04-14-2010 , 07:56 AM

#1496

Dannykurttt

adept

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 868

I love this thread!!!

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04-14-2010 , 09:58 AM

#1497

AndreasX

adept

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 943

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyballgame

[ ] Raise flop

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04-14-2010 , 10:04 AM

#1498

AndreasX

adept

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 943

Quote:

Originally Posted by InvisibleBridge

way back when i first discovered gambooling..had no car, talked a buddy to drive me to the Taj for a sick run. I proceeded to run on a sick heater at roulette. Came with 300, got it up to 1200 in 30 minutes betting on odd numbers and 4 way bets, 20$ each.

My degen buddy kept ****ing begging me for 2 blackbirds so he could play blackjack. Being the superstitious degenerate that I was, I told him to **** off and not jinx me til i cleared 3k.
Lo and behold, i run it up to 3400 in the next hour.
I give him 2 blacks and he disappears, but not without telling me Im the best friend in the world before departing, and sounding like a complete degen to anyone within earshot.

At this point, one the pitbosses comes over and asks to see my ID, obv trying to jinx my sick heater...I give it up without looking at him. Im focused on the table like Im Rainman, but its not blackjack. F*ckbag pitboss proceeds to ask the dealer how much ive been crushing. The dealer gives him an estimate and they are pissed cause im betting with 5 dollar chips for 20 a bet and he has to count out my wins in fives. lol
Anyway, I proceed to smash the house for a little over 5k. I ask to color up and cash out. Hit the change machine and change 50+ hundos into 20's and 10's, Hold my sick knot 2 inches from degen buddies face and say, "Lets ****ing roll."
Of course anyone in their right mind would do exactly that. No, I let my degen pal talk me into Blackjack.
Long story short, I end up leaving with 1600.
Pissed, I western union 1400 onto sportsbook.com the very next day.
Proceed to smash the bastards for 1-1.5k hits on 4-game over/under parlays in baseball, betting 100-150 per parlay for 3 days straight. Had my roll up to 6.5-7k.
I jump in the poker room on Day 4, and proceed to obliterate the regs in 30-60 & 10-20 PLO 6-max games. Mind u im talking cash **** the entire time, catching 2 outers way behind, pushing stacks on any OESD's and backdoor flush draws and hitting them vs measly sets and 2 pairs.

In 3 days I amass the roll to just over 16k.
I dont remember the stakes but I decide its a good idea to jump on a high stakes NL Holdem table(my worst game). I tell myself Im gonna double the roll and cash out.
3-handed, mustve been 25-50 or 50-100, dont remember but I do remember sitting with 6-8k or so. Biggest stakes I have ever played. I end up getting it in with AKsooted, villain turns up QJsooted.
Flop = QQJ. OWNED.
I go on ape**** monkey tilt. Felt like I got hit by a ****ing train. Yet immediately bought back in for the remainder of the roll.
Im waiting for the monster to get my money back and ****ing cash.
I look down and see 2 beautiful Queens. Same villain raises, I reraise, he reraises me. I push.
He turns over AJsooted. Really?
The flop brought a beautiful Q, a rag, and an Ace.
He is OWNED. Turn: Ace. He is so Owned.
Of course the river is a Jack for the bigger FH.

Cliff notes: 300 - 16k in a week.
2 hands in 20 minutes: BUSTO.

Lessons Learned: **** Hold em.
Cash out when you know u should.

Lesson learned [ ]