Degen Stories....
10-31-2023
, 03:27 PM
Quote:
Title: The Titanic Poker Story
The following story is based on true events.
Chapter 1: Getting to know the basics
8 years ago a young sprite woke up in the morning and stepped outside. He took a deep breath and got real high. He screamed to the top of his lungs "What's goin' on?" Much to his surprise a black Cadillac in the neighborhood slowed down and pulled up right in front of him. He couldn't see inside the tinted windows and then the driver window rolled down. A ghastly old man sat inside. He kind of looked like Jack Nicholson and told the 18 year old kid "Hey Sonny, I'm Wild Bill. I'm going down to a poker game. Care to join me?". The young lad responded "I've never played poker before. I've only seen the World Series of Poker on television. I'm only 18". Wild Bill retorted "Well you are old enough to play kiddo. I'll teach ya on the way. What's your name?". The kid nervously responded "Bartholomew". Bill smiled and said "Okay Bart. Hop in, we're gonna make a boat load of money together". Bart was intrigued. He worked as a grocery bagger at the local supermarket. He never even had more than a thousand dollars to his name. Let alone millions. He hopped in the passenger seat of the caddy and they were on their way.
And so Bill told Bart all the basics on how to play poker and make money at it. He told him that he has been a professional for 39 years. He said that he had made millions from the game. Bart told him he only had 20 bucks on him. And asked if it was enough. Bill laughed and said "Bucko, I'm going to stake you. Staking is a business deal between poker players. I'll give you money to play, and you get to keep a certain percent of the profits. Today I'm going to give you $2000. Which is 2 buyins in the 5/10 no-limit holdem game we'll be playing today. You get to keep 20% of all the profits you make today. If you lose, well we'll get to that later but since it's your first time. You've got beginner's luck and nothing to worry about". Bill handed over $2000 to Bart and said "Don't think of doing anything silly kid. Put that money in your crotch so no one can try to steal it from you." Bart obeyed Bill's orders and stuck it whitey tighties.
They arrived to this bar around 2PM. Bart nervously asked Bill "The game is in here? Is this area safe?" Bill said "Barty, don't worry about it. There's never been a problem here with Wild Bill around." So they walked in and Bill told the bartender to unlock the door to the back room for him. They walk in and see a gambler's paradise. They had 2 tables of blackjack going, a table of craps, roulette, and 3 poker tables. A floorman walked up to them and shook bills hand saying "Hey Bill, long time no see. How you been?" Bill said "Hey Lonny. Not bad for a fat old man. This here is Bart. He's my nephew and he wants to play some 5/10 Holdem with me today. Is that okay?" Lonny laughed and said "Of course, anything for you buddy".
So they each took a seat at the 5/10 table and Bill called out "Chips!". Bill handed the chip runner 1k and then the runner walked up to Bart and asked how much he wanted. Bart just remembered his money was still in his underwear. He blushed and stood up, turned around, reached in his underwear pulled out the money and handed the man 1k. The table bursted out with laughter. The runner gave him a disgusted look and took the money. He returned with chips and the game resumed.
The very first hand Bart grabbed his cards and put them right up to his face. He looked at a J
4
. The table announced it was his turn to act. Bart mumbled "What do I do? What are my options?" One player named Paul who had some yellowed teeth and smelled like body odor mixed with an unwiped arse said "Quack quack, you trying to hustle us kid? Quack quack". Bart was taken aback and he said "No I'm not. This is honestly my first time playing and I have no clue how to play". Bill put his palm on his forehead and shook his head. Paul snickered and said "Well then you should probably raise. But you can call or fold too". The dealer announced it was $35 to call. Bart grabs a substantial amount of green chips and throws them in the middle. They go flying and rolling all over the place. After a few minutes the dealer managed to organize all the chips together and announced his raise was to $325. Bill had a menacing look on his face. A look that said "Do you remember anything I f****** told you?".
So it was back onto the initial raiser and he elected to call. The flop rolled out 4
4
jack. The initial raiser said I'm putting you all in. He had at least 4k back. Bart was flustered. He had no clue as to the strength of his hand. He took a double look at his cards and saw all of his cards matched the board. The remembered a poker movie he once saw and said "Well I'll see that raise" then he reached in his underwear and pulled out the rest of his money "and I'll raise you another $1000". The table was in an uproar. "YOU CANT RAISE MONEY OFF THE TABLE ITS TABLE LIMITS KID!" shouted Paul. The initial raiser responded "Guys, guys, settle down its ok. I'll allow it. I call your bet kid. Let's see what you got". Bart nervously flipped over his cards. His opponent stood up and slowly walked behind Bart. This man was huge. He was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of poker. He grabbed Bart by the sides and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Bart is about 5'11", 180 pounds. He threw Bart against the wall and said "YOU CHEATER! I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING AND YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS LITTLE BITCH!" Wild Bill tapped the mammoth on the shoulder. He turned his head while leaving right hand clenching Bart's neck "WHAT DO YOU WANT BILL? THIS IS YOUR NEPHEW? YOU BROUGHT A CHEAT IN HERE?". Bill calmly said "No Arnold, he's not cheating. It's honestly his first time ever playing. He just raised it to $325 preflop with jack 4 off. The dealer has been dealing here for years there is no way he cheated." Arnold slowly turned his head back to Bart gritting his teeth "You're lucky I respect Bill kid. Or I would rip you a new @$$hole". He released his suffocating clench around Bart's neck and he gasped for air while collapsing onto the floor. The game resumed while Bart tried to recover from being strangled. A few minutes later he came back to the table and looked down at his new stack of chips. It was only $3000. Arnold smiled at Bart and said "Table limits Bart". Bart kind of had an idea of how he should have $4000 instead of $3000. But he kept his mouth shut in fear of getting killed. At least he won the pot even though he never got to find out what Arnold had.
End of part one.
The following story is based on true events.
Chapter 1: Getting to know the basics
8 years ago a young sprite woke up in the morning and stepped outside. He took a deep breath and got real high. He screamed to the top of his lungs "What's goin' on?" Much to his surprise a black Cadillac in the neighborhood slowed down and pulled up right in front of him. He couldn't see inside the tinted windows and then the driver window rolled down. A ghastly old man sat inside. He kind of looked like Jack Nicholson and told the 18 year old kid "Hey Sonny, I'm Wild Bill. I'm going down to a poker game. Care to join me?". The young lad responded "I've never played poker before. I've only seen the World Series of Poker on television. I'm only 18". Wild Bill retorted "Well you are old enough to play kiddo. I'll teach ya on the way. What's your name?". The kid nervously responded "Bartholomew". Bill smiled and said "Okay Bart. Hop in, we're gonna make a boat load of money together". Bart was intrigued. He worked as a grocery bagger at the local supermarket. He never even had more than a thousand dollars to his name. Let alone millions. He hopped in the passenger seat of the caddy and they were on their way.
And so Bill told Bart all the basics on how to play poker and make money at it. He told him that he has been a professional for 39 years. He said that he had made millions from the game. Bart told him he only had 20 bucks on him. And asked if it was enough. Bill laughed and said "Bucko, I'm going to stake you. Staking is a business deal between poker players. I'll give you money to play, and you get to keep a certain percent of the profits. Today I'm going to give you $2000. Which is 2 buyins in the 5/10 no-limit holdem game we'll be playing today. You get to keep 20% of all the profits you make today. If you lose, well we'll get to that later but since it's your first time. You've got beginner's luck and nothing to worry about". Bill handed over $2000 to Bart and said "Don't think of doing anything silly kid. Put that money in your crotch so no one can try to steal it from you." Bart obeyed Bill's orders and stuck it whitey tighties.
They arrived to this bar around 2PM. Bart nervously asked Bill "The game is in here? Is this area safe?" Bill said "Barty, don't worry about it. There's never been a problem here with Wild Bill around." So they walked in and Bill told the bartender to unlock the door to the back room for him. They walk in and see a gambler's paradise. They had 2 tables of blackjack going, a table of craps, roulette, and 3 poker tables. A floorman walked up to them and shook bills hand saying "Hey Bill, long time no see. How you been?" Bill said "Hey Lonny. Not bad for a fat old man. This here is Bart. He's my nephew and he wants to play some 5/10 Holdem with me today. Is that okay?" Lonny laughed and said "Of course, anything for you buddy".
So they each took a seat at the 5/10 table and Bill called out "Chips!". Bill handed the chip runner 1k and then the runner walked up to Bart and asked how much he wanted. Bart just remembered his money was still in his underwear. He blushed and stood up, turned around, reached in his underwear pulled out the money and handed the man 1k. The table bursted out with laughter. The runner gave him a disgusted look and took the money. He returned with chips and the game resumed.
The very first hand Bart grabbed his cards and put them right up to his face. He looked at a J
4. The table announced it was his turn to act. Bart mumbled "What do I do? What are my options?" One player named Paul who had some yellowed teeth and smelled like body odor mixed with an unwiped arse said "Quack quack, you trying to hustle us kid? Quack quack". Bart was taken aback and he said "No I'm not. This is honestly my first time playing and I have no clue how to play". Bill put his palm on his forehead and shook his head. Paul snickered and said "Well then you should probably raise. But you can call or fold too". The dealer announced it was $35 to call. Bart grabs a substantial amount of green chips and throws them in the middle. They go flying and rolling all over the place. After a few minutes the dealer managed to organize all the chips together and announced his raise was to $325. Bill had a menacing look on his face. A look that said "Do you remember anything I f****** told you?".So it was back onto the initial raiser and he elected to call. The flop rolled out 4
4jack. The initial raiser said I'm putting you all in. He had at least 4k back. Bart was flustered. He had no clue as to the strength of his hand. He took a double look at his cards and saw all of his cards matched the board. The remembered a poker movie he once saw and said "Well I'll see that raise" then he reached in his underwear and pulled out the rest of his money "and I'll raise you another $1000". The table was in an uproar. "YOU CANT RAISE MONEY OFF THE TABLE ITS TABLE LIMITS KID!" shouted Paul. The initial raiser responded "Guys, guys, settle down its ok. I'll allow it. I call your bet kid. Let's see what you got". Bart nervously flipped over his cards. His opponent stood up and slowly walked behind Bart. This man was huge. He was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of poker. He grabbed Bart by the sides and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Bart is about 5'11", 180 pounds. He threw Bart against the wall and said "YOU CHEATER! I KNOW YOU'RE CHEATING AND YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS LITTLE BITCH!" Wild Bill tapped the mammoth on the shoulder. He turned his head while leaving right hand clenching Bart's neck "WHAT DO YOU WANT BILL? THIS IS YOUR NEPHEW? YOU BROUGHT A CHEAT IN HERE?". Bill calmly said "No Arnold, he's not cheating. It's honestly his first time ever playing. He just raised it to $325 preflop with jack 4 off. The dealer has been dealing here for years there is no way he cheated." Arnold slowly turned his head back to Bart gritting his teeth "You're lucky I respect Bill kid. Or I would rip you a new @$$hole". He released his suffocating clench around Bart's neck and he gasped for air while collapsing onto the floor. The game resumed while Bart tried to recover from being strangled. A few minutes later he came back to the table and looked down at his new stack of chips. It was only $3000. Arnold smiled at Bart and said "Table limits Bart". Bart kind of had an idea of how he should have $4000 instead of $3000. But he kept his mouth shut in fear of getting killed. At least he won the pot even though he never got to find out what Arnold had.End of part one.
And yes before you ask, I'm reading every page one by one and I'm half way through lol.
Last edited by thebird; 10-31-2023 at 03:28 PM.
Reason: more
10-31-2023
, 05:23 PM
11-08-2023
, 03:21 PM
03-27-2024
, 02:24 PM
was that 200k money you won or money you worked for? i see you still got a 72k balance, no1 likes a quitter, run it back up. and yes i am interested please save this thread or start a new one.
03-27-2024
, 05:43 PM
03-28-2024
, 06:23 PM
I don't remember this, but it is a huge, old thread after all. Anyway, it'd be nice if everyone used the thread as it was intended (i.e. for degen stories). So we would like to limit the clutter somewhat. That said, I won't be deleting screenshots of sports bets if they are part of a good story - unless someone will point out to me or the other mods that these posts are violating a rule.