Okay, so a bit of backstory required for the following story and the ones forwarding it. Posts after this one would not have that much explaining regarding my actions and situations.
I'll also try to make the stories short, but that's probably not going to happen.
Basically I'm socially autistic if I'm not on a combo of 2 of 3 things listed below.
- Cocaine
- Alcohol
- Antidepressants
If I'm under the influence of just 1 of those I'm still socially ******ed.
I recently moved to Spain and I am currently battling with my degenerate habits and trying to become a normal person that contributes to society.
For the last 10 months I've lowered my cocaine habit of £2k/month to £1k, to £500 and on.
I now don't drink hard alcohol, and I've capped my alcohol consumption to a bottle of wine per day. Also do not do cocaine.
TLDR; INCLUDES SPOILERS.
Let's start of with my most recent and first relapse of not taking any of the above 3 for about 3 months. Not so much degen, but it'll provoke a giggle or 2.
Went to help a friend for some work over the weekend about 150km (93 miles for the americans) away from home. Met a girl at work that wanted to bang me and we went out after finishing work on Sunday. I had a doctor appointment at 8am on Monday so couldn't stay for the night.
Anyway, we went out and I just had 2 beers because I need to drive to home after. (I have 3 accidents while drunk driving, no people hurt, minor accidents where I mostly wreck my car a little)
We went to a nice place she used to work and I noticed a lot of dealers around, so naturally I went and bought 4g of coke (about 40% cheaper in Spain, so that's good) hoping that this would make my date less awkward.
Go in the toilet with the intention of doing just a line.
Go out of the toilet and try to socialise with the girl.
Feeling good, conversation is improving, ez to speak to the girl as she speaks my native language.
20 minutes in; my blood starts boiling. Several thousand of suppressed degen cells in my brain start taking over my body.
I am now having an out of body experience where I am seeing myself in a perspective and start a vicious inside vocal battle against me and the degenerate I was.
I need a bottle of gin and I want to bang her on the table & snort lines out of her forehead in the club we're at, a part of me says.
No! Says the reasonable person that wants to no longer be a complete degenerate.
I pay the bill, tell the girl I need to go ASAP and literally storm out running to my car trying to outrun the degeneracy.
Driving to home on the highway I notice the cocaine in my pocket.
I'm already on my way home, so there is no way I can do some degen bull**** I think, so I go for it.
Since I no longer own a cocaine dispenser I had to stick a note in my nose and draw lines on my phone while driving with 120-140km/h (75-86mp/h)
Since I'm trying to also drive, each line that I terribly drew was probably 3 times bigger than an average coke line.
After repeating that process 3 times I set the direction of my GPS app to the nearest casino. At this point the degenerate in me is functioning on a solid 25% capacity.
Go in the casino and rush to the poker room.
Only games running are €1/2 mix of NLHE and PLO (1/2/5 and some weird button bring in)
Buy in for €100 cause I see no greater stacks than that.
My poker game is on point.
I noticed our 7 handed table has 4 degenerates.
One of them is extremely rude and seems to be losing ''big'' and tilting and I decide to target him. I don't like rude people on the table and also, you know, because
crushing souls is fun.
Wanted to get him in a HE hand, but unfortunately hand against him happened in PLO (don't like it cause, you know.. PLO )
40 minutes in the session I'm still tight AF, only played 1 PLO hand, won't go in details, but I slowplayed and got 2 fishes calling with flushes against my top boat. Profiting around 200€ at this point.
20 minutes later I've managed to stack up to €350 and I get in a hand vs guy mentioned above.
I get dealt
AAKQ double suited UTG and raise pot.
Tilt guy Pots behind me,CO cold calls and it's on me, I re-pot to about €180, fish has about €220 to begin with. He exhales heavily and cry calls my bet. CO folds
Flop is unfortunately
5 8 9, still some backdoor flushes and straights for me and I un-enthusiastically bet for his remaining chips.
He calls, jumps off his seat and smacks his
67 99no suits on the table. Cheering,celebrating and bragging in gibberish Spanish that he'll win a hand.
Turn is a
T and river is the magical
J, giving me the nut straight
My peepee is rock hard at this point.
I hold my cards and act disappoint.
Dealer starts counting the pot and takes the rake.
She waits for me to fold my hand in order to push the pot to him.
I take out the 2 Aces out of my hand and show them around as if I got super unlucky and etc.
Dealer starts pushing the pot towards him and at this point he's extremely emotional and happy, high-fiving his degen friends and etc.
I table the
KQ and ask if that is the better hand as it appears I might have a straight too.
Dealer chuckles on the inside and gives me a look as if I'm being a rudeboy. (If I had some drinks I'd take her number right there no prob) and starts to push the pot to me.
Guy stares blankly for about 10 seconds before realising wtf is going on, and since that's probably his rent money he goes on a full rage tilt and throws his cards aiming for the burn card deck. A card hits the dealer and the floor manager is called. It's his final warning or he'd be kicked out.
He storms out of the poker room.
I think, my work here is done so I'm going to go for a smoke and head home.
It's my first time in this casino so I ask an employee where the smoking terrace is and he gives me the directions.
I open a door which appeared to be the emergency exit, which sets of a low volume beeping sound and it locks me out the casino.
Light my smoke and wonder where am I.
Shortly after a security guard appears from somewhere and tries to give me **** about activating the alarm.
I use my charm & provoke a few giggles out of him.
We're now friends and he has a smoke with me.
He escorts me to the entrance of the casino.
I pick my belongings & chips, cash out, go to the toilet and do a couple of quick lines.
It's about 1:00AM at this point.
Driving in the car, doing coke and listening to some happy music.
My peepee at this point is diamond type of hardness.
Thinking of jacking off while driving.
15 minutes away from home I notice a Spanish brothel (They've like Erotic Clubs with a hotel in the same building with a lot of girls that are ''not'' prostitutes and they'll take you up their hotel room and so on)
I jump on the breaks, still on the highway btw, screeching tires for about 10 seconds.
Drove on reverse for about 250M and got in the correct exit in order to get to the hookers.
I have had no drinks at this point so I'm still socially ******ed.
See about 7-8 girls, most of them are pure trash, but one of them is ****ing amazing, solid 8/10.
Get myself a gin & tonic, ask the bartender to pour half of the gin he usually pours.
Give him €20 for the €10 G&T and ask how does this work, since it's my first time.
He tells me to choose a girl and he'll notify her about me.
Girl is chatting to 2 trash looking guys, probably spending their benefit allowance or whatever.
Bartender speaks to the girl, she eyes me up and down and immediately dumps them and comes to me.
We're trying to talk to each other, but still being socially ******ed + my broken Spanish doesn't help with the conversation at all.
I buy her a drink (€20 for her drink, which is the only one allowed they can drink)
She tells me she needs to dance so I have to wait for about 10-15min.
I'm fine with that, will just have my drink and check crypto prices & news.
I do a couple of lines in the toilet and go back to the bar.
Girl comes out on the stage and starts dancing.
Dance is average, but she is hot as the sun.
Tall, slim & tight body (can see she works out) A cup tiddies and a squat enhanced ass. I watch for about 1 min, order a proper gin & tonic and continue to count my profits on crypto.
Girl comes back later, I buy myself and her a drink. (Getting mad for her drinks as it's basically extortion)
Tell her I'm socially autistic, she laughs and thinks I'm a virgin.
Buy her another drink and we go to her room.
It's 2AM at this point.
I ask for prices and she tells me €150/h. I give her €250 and tell her that I'm aware it's €100/h. She's happy.
She offers me weed, I refuse because when I smoke it boosts my ''autism'' to a solid robot state in which I have to do decision making and send processed information to the body parts that execute the desired function. Such as breathing, blinking, eyeball movement. Neck, arms and legs movement.
I ask her where can we draw lines and she pulls out a big ass plate. Crush the remaining 2-3 grams, draw 7-8 lines and stock the rest at the corner of the plate. Do some a couple of lines each.
We chat for a bit, she dances for me and asks if we want to turn the TV on. Sure no probs, whatever.
It costs €10 to turn the TV on. ??????????????????
I don't care about money, but hate being milked.
Anyway I pay for the TV and order more drinks. Get 3 drinks for me and 4 for her, which also pisses me off, cause €20 is BS for a drink.
We're doing 1-2 lines of coke per 5 min probably.
She starts dancing for me and shortly starts sucking on me.
I ask her to start riding me, she lays on the bed and starts to touch herself and make some weird porn moans.
I start laughing and tell her to stop ****ing around.
She starts laughing and hugging me and starts to explain how many dumb people come at this place.
We kick off a conversation about her life.
Why? I have no ****ing clue, I'm not even interested.
She shows me pictures of her daughter, takes out a ****ing knife with the size of a sword and starts telling me how she'll kill anyone if they touch her.
I am impressed by 2 things in here:
- She pulled out a ****ing knife
- I have the absolute identical knife at home
Knife in question (sorry for bad photo, I am the worst in taking pictures)
Anyway, we kick off a conversation about it and we end up in an MMA sparring cause we both into it.
She just wrecked me, because obviously, I have trained for just about 3 months 5 years ago(Which is a different story, will post it here soon)
I later put on a skirt of hers and try to dance the way she danced on the poll.
We're both crying out of laughter.
We start watching some bull**** videos on youtube (Weird SHEET like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoQd-M6wNQ4 and funny compilations etc)
We're jumping on the bed, falling on floor etc. Funny **** man, loved it.
Someone knocks on the door and she jumps out of fear.
It's 5AM and we were supposed to be there till 4 as it's the time the club closes.
She gives me her number (I assume it's fake, never tried texting/calling)
I leave and drive off to home.
Jerk off real quick while driving, cum in a coffee cup.
Almost crashed 4 times for a 15 min drive.
Went home as of nothing happened.
Felt suicidal for about 3 days after that, but it's okay. I'm used to it.
Not much degeneracy, but hope you found it entertaining.
Next post I make might be about how years ago when I worked at a night club, my boss (who was head of mafia that controls 1/3 of my home country) wanted to kill me for being a degenerate. I am not involved with the mafia, I just liked working in the club.
On a second thought, next story will be playing live poker on acid and getting kicked for calling a player a piss inspector.
Last edited by michaelorcharlie; 01-21-2019 at 08:46 PM.