Degen Stories.... - Page 457 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

Then they tell you it's illegal to go in a casino without proper ID,which it is around here,and toss you.

It amazes me how many people wander in without ID and complain when told they can't enter without it.

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11-21-2016 , 02:18 AM

#11403

CleanoutKid

adept

Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 1,109

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorLeagueDegen

Earlier this week I had BY FAR the most embarrassing moment of my life, I doubt anything in the future will even come remotely close. A few months ago I moved into a share house with a bunch of degen mates, three of us are poker players and the other two are uni students. Rent was due this Saturday, me being the degen I am I didn't have enough cash to cover the $300 rent that was due. I had stayed up the previous night grinding the living **** out of 25NL in the hopes of running up my measly $140 roll into something I could work with. Needless to say I didn't get a ticket for the run good express train and busted my account along with what little left of my dignity I had left.

My parents know that I play poker but are under the impression I'm somewhat of a crusher (I'm not...). I called them up and made up some bull**** story about how my bank account what locked due to suspicious activity and I'd have to send in documents to get my account reinstated. They fronted me the $300 for rent, gg. Now at least I've bought myself a little bit of time and hopefully somehow I'll be able to get myself out of the train wreck that is my life. Later that evening I'm drinking and smoking bongs out the back with the boys. I don't know how the topic came up but the question was how much money would you need to be paid to waterfall into your own mouth (pee into your mouth)...

All the boys came up with what I considered complete bull**** numbers, $4,000 was the lowest I believe any of them said they'd be willing to do it for. ****ing hell, I'd do it for a mars bar and a snickers... Twice! Anyway I used my master negotiation skills and managed to get the boys to agree to give me $300 to do it. I made sure they had the cash upfront. One of them wanted to film it, **** that! I'm a degen but I don't want the whole world to know about my low-life shenanigans. We came to a middle ground, for an extra $200 bucks he could snap chat it and that was it.

I was ready to go! I had sunk quite a few beers so I knew my piss stream would be easily strong enough. I just wanted to get this over with, I got up, stood on the edge of the deck and proceeded to take a steaming hot piss directly into my mouth (didn't swallow obv). I had the boys around me cackling with laughter with their phones out. This is where **** hit the ****ing fan. My ****ing Mum walked around the side of the house right as I was peeing in my mouth surrounded by a bunch of boys... She had brought me over a casserole because she thought I wasn't going to have access to money for a couple of days. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forget the look of absolute shock and disgust on her face as long as my little degen heart keeps on beating.

I don't know what he was thinking but one of my dickhead mates (he's apologised profusely afterwards) for some reason thought it'd be a good idea to tell my Mum exactly why I did it, she managed to put one and one together and realised I was a broke ****ing degen. She left the house, face in her hands sobbing her eyes out. Funny thing is she is equally as mad at my friend for allowing me to go through with this (let's call him Ryan) who I have been friends with since forever. He's always been the sensible one of the group. Anyway my Mum wants me to go to rehab, lol. Not gonna happen. I feel bad and all but god damn it feels good to be able to get back into the action. Anyway I'm off to most likely blow through my new found 'wealth', if you can even call it that.

Literally LOL'd, first time I've seen a good story posted on here in a while

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11-21-2016 , 09:49 AM

#11404

Puckster

adept

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 1,032

Major: welcome to the Hall of Degen fame....... I really wanted to feel sad, but instead, tears flowed from chocking laughter

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11-21-2016 , 09:51 AM

#11405

jcorb

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 2,978

beats pooping in hand

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11-21-2016 , 09:52 AM

#11406

jcorb

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 2,978

and BTW, with all the phones out look for this to be on the internet forever

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11-21-2016 , 10:18 AM

#11407

Zegolol

enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 49

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorLeagueDegen

LOL good one

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11-21-2016 , 10:52 AM

#11408

POCKET ROCKETS OOO

banned

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 1,422

A+

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11-21-2016 , 12:19 PM

#11409

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorLeagueDegen

I thought it said $3,000 and was impressed

then I reread

now the lulz are real

you could probably do peepeeporn now that you have a penchant for tasting your own urine. Probably get you more than $300, too. glgl

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11-21-2016 , 12:32 PM

#11410

eazye187

stranger

Join Date: Nov 2016 Posts: 8

A few months ago I moved into a share house with a bunch of degen mates, three of us are poker players and the other two are uni students.

HAHAHA you move in house with degen mates LOL LOL

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11-21-2016 , 01:58 PM

#11411

bahbahmickey

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 15,268

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcorb

beats pooping in hand

What?

#2 in the hand is worth more than #1 in the mouth.

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11-21-2016 , 10:20 PM

#11412

ChippuhTss

grinder

Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 427

Quote:

Originally Posted by cypresshill

I went again today too, I had a appointment to unban from all the pennyslvania casinos at once at 1:30 pm. I was early and went to the nearby casino before i unbanned. Was going just play poker, but 1 table was full for 1/2 (this casino very little and only gets a little traffic and i was 3rd on the list) I lost $180 in slots, then sat at PaiGow. This little casino also doesnt have the Pai Gow bonus bet which i ALWAYS play, wouldnt you know it 3rd hand I get a straight flush with AQ up top for my hand. So no bonus but not only that I push the hand as dealer AQ also up top. So i keep playing win back my $180 sit at baccarat, proceed to lose 600. Had 600 left, lost all on roulette, last spin I have $25 on number 26, and $20 on each side of it. So if i hit it, over $1200 win, the ball teeters on 26, falls into 9 and busto. I never unbanned even just drove home. decided this is enough, i am going to just think about it, do i want to buy something? If so i make enough. Do i think i will run $1000 into $50k? Never happened before, insanity is doing same thing over and over expecting a different result as they say in GA. Decided today, Im done with it all, poker, slots, baccarat, roulette, even 2+2. I had enough. This year 2017 will dedicate all extra cash to finish my student loans, work towards some things I want in life, but not going to get there being a degen. I know it, you all know it. The stories arent even fun anymore. Just lost this, lost that, won a little, lost a lot. **** it, even winning a few thousand doesnt change my life much, but continuous losses are leading into depression, guilt, and remorse. Also, it limits what fun I can have outside the casino, as low on funds now.

Bro you sound weak af right now. I hope to god you're not serious about this pussy ***** and go book another appointment to unban yourself. You're just running cold... man up and bear with it. Double down & strap yourself in with velcrow shoes, you got this.

Let me know how it goes, brotha man

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11-21-2016 , 11:02 PM

#11413

POCKET ROCKETS OOO

banned

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 1,422

^ pit boss ITT

At least offer him free buffets to keep gambling.

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11-22-2016 , 12:22 AM

#11414

dieharder

journeyman

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 246

^ To Pocket Rockets:
Dude, I have been following your story. For almost a year you were doing great, I thought that would be it for you. I was very surprised to read your recent post about going to GA meetings again, stories? I struggle everyday myself, love to see a fellow degen kick the habbit.

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11-22-2016 , 08:53 AM

#11415

POCKET ROCKETS OOO

banned

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 1,422

Quote:

Originally Posted by dieharder

Yeah everything kinda went off the rails Jan of this year and 2016 turned out to be one of my biggest losing years ever. They say this is a progressive disease and that couldn't be more true. I started making more money and have access to more credit and the bets just got bigger and bigger. I had some giant scores this year which I think contributed to the downward spiral. To think 4 months ago I had all my credit cards paid off and now I'm -40k in the hole on them.

I'm almost 3 weeks gamble free and I'm starting to come out of the fog. Hopefully I can kick it for good this time as I've done with many other habits (cigs and drugs).

It's def the hardest to stay clean from as your brain has a rather quick way of forgetting how low gambling can make you feel.

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11-22-2016 , 09:53 AM

#11416

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

God
Grant me the propensity
To play the games I cannot beat
The courage to beat the games I can
And the bankroll to sustain the swongz

Last edited by AlwaysFolding; 11-22-2016 at 09:53 AM. Reason: ts not ds fellas

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11-22-2016 , 03:47 PM

#11417

Natamus

Tripped and Fell

Join Date: Nov 2013 Posts: 16,388

Major aka the dude who peed in his mouth:

A. Hilarious but not sure if
A1. Embellished for LOLz
A2. He was actually sucking D or someone else peed in his mouth and he's downplayed it to peeing in own mouth.

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11-23-2016 , 01:12 AM

#11418

POCKET ROCKETS OOO

banned

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 1,422

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natamus

I don't think it's embellished or fake.

Even the trolliest of trolls don't think about creating a story on some random Internet forum about pissing in their own mouth for $300 and then their mom catching them in the act.

Or do they.

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11-23-2016 , 01:22 PM

#11419

Hellmuth was right

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 5,799

Quote:

Originally Posted by POCKET ROCKETS OOO

Dood. Just do the bankruptcy. cc debt isnt real. you can get out of that for like 6k.

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11-23-2016 , 02:51 PM

#11420

RvrRatKilla

journeyman

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hellmuth was right

Dood. Just do the bankruptcy. cc debt isnt real. you can get out of that for like 6k.

Enabler ... lolz

POCKET ROCKETS OOO,

I've been where you are, brother... To the tune of almost 84k in CC debt...

I'd tell you it gets easier with time, but that's a bunch of bull****. Every football season, my demons come back to the surface. This year I'm up 5 figures with my debt service provider (bookie) I'm sure once Super Bowl gets here I'll degen off every cent. Ipad pay squares are the fkn devil.

Good luck to you with the recovery.

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11-24-2016 , 09:03 PM

#11421

Trokild

newbie

Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 20

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorLeagueDegen

Funniest post I've seen here in a while, you will probably look back at this for the rest of your life and cringe laugh.

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11-24-2016 , 09:32 PM

#11422

Rich Checkmaker

banned

Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 2,441

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorLeagueDegen

Good story. The lols are real.

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11-24-2016 , 09:43 PM

#11423

legionrainfall

grinder

Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 654

Mouth piss guy's problem isn't degen, it's just the he's a stupid moron. He could have gotten $1000 out of them. Low balled himself.

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11-25-2016 , 01:34 PM

#11424

Drrr.Gonzo

old hand

Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 1,586

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingOfHoldem

I was out the front of my house just screaming at the top of my lungs. I was hoping someone would come outside so I could flip my **** on them, I really wanted to get into a confrontation of some sort. My neighbor came outside and basically told me to shut the **** up because his kids were trying to sleep. I told him to get ****ed and if he had an issue to come and fight me like a man.

Legendary open