no way...

the sickest degen is this man right here..

needsFH2win please update this thread regularly, this is your new blog.

question for needsFH2win: how did you get all of that money in the first place?

awesome degen story btw

omfg needsfh2win THANK YOU for sharing that

that probably wasnt easy

I'm jealous.

My degen story:

My name is Mike Matusow.

I second this, holy crap

my grandpa has Alzheimers so my dad and i put him in a home. we took all of his old stuff and my dad said if i can sell all of it (4.5k worth of stuff), i could have his old car for free (a $3k car) and he keeps the rest. so i say ok.

i played a little poker here and there but one day i run my account up to 6.5k in a matter of a few hours. over the next few days it drops down pretty fast and i end up "borrowing" $100-200 from my grandpas account to get back.

at one point i made it all back +$100 but decide i could make a little more since i was on a heater. few hours later $.17 in pokerstars and $300 in my bank account. i called it quits.

felt like the piece of sh*t i was. i never played a hand of poker again for a year. up to my first hand of poker since then i read at least 10 books on poker and started reading poker forums.

my dad hates poker and i vowed not to deposit anymore money so i didnt. i played play money cash games until i was at $1,000,000 in play money. i sold it on ebay for $10 which i ground out to $1000 in a matter of a month.

i currently grind 50nl and plan on moving up soon and starting to save for bigger and better things in my life (+fully repay my parents)

if anyone is a tilt monkey like i was. be humble and prove your skill by starting with nothing and turning it into something. the only way not to lose money is to never put money into it

[ ] degen story

its never degen if theres a feel good part to the story. in order to be degen, your soul must be crushed and you must recover.

my story is over the course of 3.5 years and theres nothing to update. i told a fellow 2+2 i wasnt gonna gamble anymore and i told many casino/poker regulars at local casinos that i would pay them $500 if they see me near a casino.

2nd time in the last 4 days i've lost my roll cause of flipping/monkey tilting fffffffffml

Ok.. I made an account to reply to this EPIC post... I am going to count the lol's I had reading it.. Keep in mind I re-read it 10 times and laughed just as hard if not harder every time and also found a new joke hidden in there each time.. insanely hilarious.. I want to be this mans friend..

1. gf who was a crack head but she was nice - Seems like I can relate.. worthy of a chuckle
2. room was dark i was surrounded by bottles of piss - LOL WTF??? The sentence structure or lack of makes this sound too funny!!!
3. half eaten sandwiches i even had a crust behind my ear - lol COMBOx2 lol no comma
4. she would be my main squeese anyway she left me for a crack dealer - LOL@'main squeese' to left for crack head.. omg..
5. feelin like ten dewey heart aching empty busto feeling and linger tilt - This has to be the most definitive to the core was to express his feelings to a poker forum... lol times TEN!
6. some crotch monkey over bets the pot and i run into the swinging blade and throw up 2 clanging bricks - the tilt begins... ohhh myyy god
7. I just punch my ****in monitor almost put my fist through it and then i kicked my coffee table but not like a regular person no no no..i have to hit it as hard as I can with my ****ing shin!!!! - lol he is so descriptive I can picture him (or myself) doing the exact same thing..
8. just laid there on the carpet for 2 hours staring into space i even knocked one out while laying in the recovery position - he has fallen and cant get up so he jerks off.. LOLOLOLOLOL

*funny description of his heater...then*

9. TURN QUEEN RIVER QUEEENNNNNNNNNNN>>OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head AND STARTED SHOUTING AT MY DAD INSIDE MY HEAD IM LIKE **** OFF LEAVE ME ALONE GET OUT OF My HEAD.. OMGG IM BUSTO AGAIN I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD..I FELT LIKE SUCH A ****INg DEGEN - lol the pure RAGE.. hilarious!

10. first i burnt my hand on the stove on purpose omggg i was so wasted i went out in the backyard stark naked i started climbing the trees and just trying to get back to nature and forget the damn poker - LOL I can imagine the insanity born inside this man! Inflicting heavy damage on himself and then angrily hopping into trees naked..

*concludes with epic descriptions.. certainly this man is a poetic genius*

I attempted to read this post at work and I had to stop for fear my boss would think i was dicking around... omg..

MY HERO!

FABULOUS... Right up there with King Niche.. Been reading these 2 posts for laughs since I started reading these forums a week ago..

wow...

clearly
we have "old school" degen
and then we have "new school" degen...


wow...
just amazing.
thank you all.
I feel better now for all those wimpy $30 and $50 deposits
I made with only a few cash outs.

some made me LOL
some made me feel compassion....

[ ] Degen Stories

[X] Gambling problems

warning. not very good english in the post.

in 2005, I was just graduating and began working in good offices.One year later I was earning 8-11K/Month, not bad for a young man like me. I was beginning to succeed at life. was renting a nice house, was having a good living.
Then I discovered poker. I thought i would be good at it. it was like a magnet, and I was a piece of metal. I litterally spew all my money in 5-6 month, both at live games and on-line poker.
at work, i was playing online, the boss wasn't fond of that. after the work i was going to a local poker room to spew some more, obviously playing way ahead of my bankroll, which i never had.
so i got fired from my work, with no money.
i couldn't pay my house any more, so i got fired from my home. ended living with my mum, who had financial difficulties, and who was counting on my beginning succeeding life to help her. one day she discovered my bank receipts. -50K in 5 month, when i could have helped her or do many great things. she was disgusted. fired me.i lived two weeks in the street.
A friend of mine took me at his home for 3 month. then i began paying for the living. today i rent his apartment and he's living somewhere else.
i stopped poker for a while and found a new work. walking the path again was hard, i was earning twice less than i used too, not very motivating. i begin to succeed again at life, and i play poker occasionally (i learned someting called bankroll management). But damn that was two very hard years.


cliffs :
26 yrs old.was beginning succeeding at life. plenty of money.
discovered poker
lost all money
lost work
lost home
went to live with his mum.
mum discovers everything.
lost home
live a while in the streets.
find a good friend.
started working again.
started playing again.
starting being successful again
i wish this to no one.

This thread gives me hope for some reason.

[x] posting in epic thread

[x] degen

This thread's range is so polarized. Full of massive lols and painful stories.

i hate you.
polarize that

Okay, so I'm drunk as hell... but pretty much the story goes like this:

I started out by playing home games, I was dominating them but whenever it came to heads up I'd end up losing... I always thought whenever someone went all in, they had the best hand and I'd fold unless i had AA... which never happened. So, eventually my friend saw me making great reads and great plays and figuring out a bunch of the game without even playing and then he decided to teach me a bit about poker and hand values and such... as well as how to play in heads up.

I won my first ever live tourney and instantly became addicted to 3-6 limit holdem. I was making $100 a session on average (with many sessions of being +300 and some of being -150) and loving life. Then my city got a 1/2NL game... the biggest fish in the city with no idea how to play started playing at Argyll Casino and I was smoking those fools. I'd clear 800 a night. I eventually built my roll up to 13k and then switched to the highest limit regular game in the city, 5/10NLHE. I'll never forget this hand.

This was before the idea of variance crossed my mind and gods hate for poker players was the only thing in it. So.. I get dealt 44 on a hyper aggressive 5/10NLHE table and it was minraised and called by 4 others to me. I called as well, the button, the SB and the BB called. Flop came,

4 4 J

I thought at this point, I had some other hand... so I looked down and made sure, and yep... I had quads. This was my first time that I ever had quads in the casino.

So... before the action gets to me the SB shoves all in for $4000. The BB snap calls for about $3500. I look down at 44 and think... wat? I hab du nutz.

So I make sure to closely examine my cards and make sure there was no misdeal... and there wasnt, it was legit, so I was like, alright guys, I call, I have quads.

Both players instantly pound the table.

The SB had AA... and shoved 4k for nothing. The BB had JJ and shoved and had a great hand to beat AA... but not good enough to beat me.

Turn A, river A... ship it.

After that hand, I got very drunk for about 2 weeks straight and pissed away a lot of money from roulette, craps and anything else. All in all I had about 5k left and I spent that on going back to school. Now I'm staked for low limit DoN's and I make about $3.80 an hour (divided by two) so... essentially I hate life.

I just wish I had my 13k roll back... but I have nothing.

^^ and yet u poast on 4l and BBV to flip five hundys all the time
professional degen itt.

lol i ended up making that flip. and i lost... oh well, i dont even care, eff that bs

seriously, flips are supposed to be 50/50, but i swear people misclick fold if they dont have an ace

Ok, first off. The hotline for gambling addiction suck major in this country, i called the number straight away after loosing lifechanging money twice and playing slots 4 36h no sleep.

I am having some financial issues because of that and needed som advice, nothing.
I did however get some lame ass questions as to where i live and how old i am.

24yrs, its a months since my last post in this thread i figured imigthaswell top the last one.

deposit: 700€, down to about 10€ i hit the first 6k jackpot at 1€ pr click so that gives me a boost back upto 610€ so in 2-3h im upto 6k and end the night with 8165€ stress like a mofo to get the money out QUICK no neteller option and click2pay gave errors so opted for visa 3-5 buisness days.**TILTING* i had basically spent what was left in my visa account wich meant i would be broke until i got the money.

Oh well friday at 9pm iwas on it again, took about 1s to have my money qeue turning into spins...8k went like this
16k-22k-11k-19-27 and all the way down to 6K and upto 28k. All this money now gone 36 sickening and troublesome houres. I could have consider buying an appartment, getting out of debt in general. buy som speakers, a bet, a tv unit and some gaming gear AND have that wicked pokerroll ive been dreaming of. **** why no insta withdraw, its slots for crying outloud. what do heroin cost? hook me up.

I got a few good degen stories, i should probably start with the 1st 1 i ever had.

Almost 3 years ago
19 years old and dumb
i know Its not a lot of $ but it was all i had at the time.

The Rise

Well my first rake cashout was $200. i put this $ on UB and considered this to be my *play* money when i was tiltin. Anyways i decided to just go take it and sit at 1/2 nl right away. I dont know how i did it cause i was so bad back then but i ran that up to about 1k the first night.... I started to like this site. The next day i fired up a few 2/4 nl tables ( i thought 3 BI was a good bankroll at the time) In about a week i ran it up to $3500

The beginning of the fall

Then i found out about their online blackjack tables. I started at playin around $5 bets just for fun. But i didnt get any rush so i decided to start bettin $25 at a time. $100 goes bye bye like that. Ok bet $100 bet bet bet. All of a sudden im up 1k.

You see i figured out a system to beat the online blackjack game. Yes you read that right, i am a dumbass. Baically i would bet $25 at a time, then when i "felt" a rush coming i would bet big $100-$200. If i started losin badly i would change tables and repeat.

Anyways **** poker, i just made 1k in 5 mins, if i just stay with this system ill be rich. Well a few nights later im suppoe to be doin summer school work, but i figued i'd take a 5 min break to play a lil blackjack.

Rock Bottom

Well it started off bad, i went down 1k right away. Suddenly i got the urge to do a $500 bet, bam i hit it. Good, now im onyl down $500. Just 1 more $500 bet....O snap i got 11, dealer showin a 6, i double down. BOOM 20. beautiful. Dealer shows a 16 thats so perfect....so many cards for him to bust on just dont let me see a....before i can say the evil number, it hits. R U ****IGN KIDDIN ME A ****ING 5 i HATE 5s **** 5 **** HIGH FIVES **** the FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONG IM GONNA KILL THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE NUMBER 5.....dealer has 21.

Before i could think about what happened i was betting $500 again and again an losing almost every single time. All of a sudden i stopped for 1 second, and looked at bankroll, i had $732 left in my account.


Like a true degen I said **** it im going for broke. bet 500...1 time do it for me baby i swear to the blackjack gods or poker gods or whoever i will be a degnerate for the rest of my life if u get me outta this hole........HOLY ****.BLACKJACK!

LETS MAKE SOME MAGIC BABY! Bet $500... BLACKJAK....2 IN A ROW wats the odds of that??!?! igotta ride this rush, bet $500... BLACKJACK!!!!!!!! OMFG 3 BLACKJACKS IN A ****ING ROW!! i cannot explain how AMAZZZIIINNGGG this rush felt. Bet 500 win, bet 500 win. bet bet bet bet win win win.....finally i bet 500 and lose and instaquit done with blackjack forever! then I look at my roll and its at $3300. and u knw just 1 bet and i can be back to even. As soon as that thought passed i turned off my computer and ran outside and smoked a lotta weed to clear my mind.

Cliffnotes
*run $200 to $3500 in poker
*this is about half of my entire roll at the time
*Find Blackjack
*bet 500 a hand
*Lose about half my roll in just 10 minutes
*Left with $700 on UB
*Go for broke like a true degen
*Get rewarded with 3 blackjacks in a row
*Ride rush till i make my money back $3300
*smoke weed

Had a friend transfer 5 dollers. Whent 25. cent to doller tourneys finaly won a 2/180. 300 br. Drunkley decided to search 4 team poker players. Alex krevchenco playing 10/20 hi/lo stud. Thought im going to sit down 4 one hand just to say i did. AA down 2 up. Long story short lost all in one hand. degen?