who did you play at the 1k hu sngs out of interest?

Haven't watched updates in a couple of dates and figured Sweat would've gotten part 4 up by now.
Probably takes quite a while to write anyway.
Keep us updated mate!

im too ashamed to post my degen story

but too all the degens out there heres a pro life tip: No matter how much you are down or how bad your downswings are if you truly love poker you will succeed in the end the days you win you feel like tony Montana when you lose you feel like a lesser person than the bum on the street its up to you to get back up when life brings you down

I think he sums it up best
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zRaJv_yqhc

lol at calling $2600 "lifesavings".

Can't recall, was drunk and majorly on tilt. I remember the avatar was a cat.

Share and we can help you determine if its a true degen story. Wish there were voting buttons on these stories.

my degen story could prob be like a book or hollywood movie

think rounders mixed with 21 lol

the base of story is getting into poker in middle/high school eventually get good enough to always win money from my friends at the time (played a little online as well) it was a lot of money i was able to turn my meager food allowance into a bank roll i was in high school buying gucci and thinking i was the **** eventually realize theres money to be made from this game so i end up playing at casinos underage hit a jackpot LOLLOLOLOL anyways i was in school and had enough cash to not have any worries word to lil wayne but i learned a valuable lesson to keep my bankroll and my expenses separate i was able to buy myself a car a closet of designer clothes eat 100$ steaks etc and eventually i learned that i dont always win so my bankroll cant support my lavish lifestyle end up getting in a **** ton of debt (damn credit cards) with no income coming in so i was borrowing more money to try and chase my losses (huge no no) eventually i end up getting a ****ty min wage job (taught me a lot and made me doubt my poker abilities) to rebuild a measly bank roll and through some luck i was able to recover a nice amount of my bankroll back eventually blow it all (literally lol) all while still goin to school life pretty much consisted of school -> work -> poker with some eat/sleep in between was literally a grinder i end up dabbling in some business ventures and get back to poker this is pretty much the summary

point of the story is i went from a high roller to a budget grinder and i persevered through the tough times and climbed my way back up the hole now i have a good job and just play the occasional PLO/HE recreationally

Who needs money when you got SWAG ?

Last night I was playing a MegaBux slot machine and hit the progressive at Aria for 5 million and took cash w/o paying taxes up front. I then proceeded to play Russ Hamilton in 5k/10k HUNLHE on UB software losing 3.5 million (not sure how he called me with 7 high in a 4 mil pot but I must of had a timing tell.


I then fortunately ran into Chino who agreed to let me buy him into the 1m Big one for one drop at a measley 1.5:1 MU. I told him it wasn't a million buy in this year yet he insisted it was (why would I doubt a well known pro like himself).

Thank god Chino was kind enough to help me recover my losses before tax time comes around.

( ) hollywood story

[ ] story

when i was in my teens i would often play in midstakes underground cash games and as a non busto i woulnt deal in i o u's just straight cash
if the game broke before 3 am i would go meet up with some friends at a club and blow a few hundo on a bottle to impress the sluts
one night i got there real late and tried to speed drink a bottle of greygoose, mostly pouring it down girls throats as the club was closing in like 20 minutes
i grabbed a smokin hot petite thing that coulnt have weighted triple digits and told her we were getting out of here
by the time we get to my place she cant even make it up the stairs so i give her a piggyback ride up to the first room where my office is set up, she immediately passes out on my couch and woulnt wake up. as im not a rapist i decided to load up a 1knl hu table and proceeded to dump most of the 10k roll i had on ftp at the time
the girl poked me in the morning to wake me up, my face was planted on the keyboard. i coulnt remember her name and never got her number. what a hurting night.

Punctuation mother****ers, use it.

Not reading any of that, I'd pass out.

i gotta say.. that thread about the dude that holds his own poop in his hand for a $30 stars transfer is pretty degen LOL

Cliffs:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...2&postcount=47

Stopped reading after first couple of words.
Either you're still in your low teen years, or you're a ****** that didn't finish school. Not reading that bull****.

Let's review the facts:

[x] Your name is YOLOSWAG420 and you have less than 20 posts
[x] You somehow played at a casino underage
[x] You don't describe moving up in stakes, just winning and then all of a sudden you buy a car?
[x] You found a way to borrow money as an underage gambler

Worst troll attempt ever. GTFO kid

NEED PART 4 SWEAT!!!!!!!!

Thisss

Dont leave us hangin!!!

I got hammered with a buddy at a bar one afternoon when we both took a 1/2 day vacation. Home game was at 8:00; left bar at 8:00. Drove home to get money and feed my dogs; spilled 50 pounds of Alpo on the floor and left most of it, grabbed my roll (maybe $2000) and tried to piss but dropped all my money in the toilet. Washed it all off and took $600 to the game. The host never asked why the money was wet.

Not sure if this is degen, but I still laugh when I think about it.

part 4 damnit

Posting this on a gimmick to not incriminate myself if I end up getting arrested. I had a big fight with my girlfriend last night and the first thing that went through my mind was going to Macau with my last 800 hkd ($100) so I did. I thought about buying the return ticket right away but decided not to. I arrived at my favorite casino, put my remaining 650 on player on a full baccarat table. I lost. It took me a while to realize in how much trouble I was and I went wandering around in the street. I ended up pawning my iPhone for 2k hkd and went in another casino, leaving 200 in my pocket for the ferry. I lost it in 2 hands, put down the 200 on top of someone's bet since it was below the table minimum. I lost it. I was feeling more and more ****ed. I went to chill near a sic Bo table with over 30 players. At some point, the dealer had an undistributed 400 and was asking whose it was. He said the house would take it if nobody claimed it so I said it was mine and that I didn't see it because I was playing too many tables. I managed to hustle and luckbox my way back to 1,500. I was even berating the dealer at times to look less suspicious. At some point, a lady noticed she had 200 missing. I decided not to leave as it would look suspicious and after some time many people were arguing. I even got accused but kept my cool and said I wouldn't stay on the table if I was the thief. I decided to bounce after a staff suggested reviewing the tapes. I went to another casino, saw a very juicy baccarat table full of whales and at some point they all bet a large amount in the same side. I thought this was my chance and bet all of my money on banker. I lost. I then went to look for people playing electronic games without a players card and inserted mine to get points. The area already had a few organized people that were doing the same thing for a living and they told me to **** off. I'm not too sure what to do now. All I have is my ipad and some hash I smuggled from HK by hiding it in my teeth. I can't afford ****, my money is gone to the last penny.

lol at nits complaining about stuff like grammar punctuation and spelling in a degen story thread.
you guys are right we need more well written stories about someone dropping money in a toilet.


i bought myself a porsche a couple years ago and i cant afford the insurance on it anymore. i still drive it every day just alot slower now.

This story isn’t exciting but I ended up heartbroken and cash broke so it felt like a double kick in the balls. Also it only recently happened so it is still raw and I can’t bring myself to laugh at my pathetic self just yet. TLDR.

So I finally finished university and there is 3 weeks left of term. I have 0 money to my name. I should really just leave campus and head home looking for a job as I’m up to my eye balls in personal debt, credit cards, loans, overdrafts, rent arrears ect… Instead I ring up a good friend of mine (who I already owe £1.2k from over a year ago) and say look mate I really need you to spot me some end of uni partying cash so I can try and nail my hot Portuguese roommate (8/10) who I’ve been flirting with all year and so far have come up short. He agrees to lend me some more money but says he can only give me £200.

So I get the £200 first night out I get frustrated that the Portuguese girl is not out as she has one last exam coming up. So I spend over an hour at the bar hitting on a petit well put together blonde Russian student (7.5-8/10). So I turn the charm on and instantly she is not impressed. But I work the routine asking her which country she is from and if I can guess it. Giving obvious wrong answers like Nigeria, South Korea and the North Pole. I can tell from the accent she is Russian so to put the cherry on top I say well if you smile for me I will be able to get it right, so she smiles and I play act and go yeah Russian like I’m David ****ing Blaine.

We carry on talking- she insists she has a boyfriend but I tell her that her boyfriend is probably ugly and boring as he is waiting in bed for her and it turns out her room is like 3mins away from my flat. So I’m hoping to bring her back to mine for a pit stop first, she is keen but kind of stubborn that I still haven’t told her my name or asked for hers and I just brush it off with what is a name? After 1.5hrs just standing at the bar talking and drinking her friends drag her away and I’m really pissed off. She was ballsy, I need a strong minded woman to put up with all my **** so I sort of could see me ****ing her and then possibly talking to her again. So I’ve wasted like most the night hitting on this one girl and her stupid bitch friends have cockblocked me massively. Annoyed I then go and find my female friend (who is very good friends with the Portuguese girl I want to get with) and I sort of just kiss her for no reason except I’m drunk and really horny. She responds but then we sort of just look at each other awkwardly and **** knows how my game goes out the window but instead of leaning in a 2nd time I just say- can we use tongues???? Wtf was I thinking as smooth as my hairy out of shape arse. The girl looks at me and says- No! Oh my days this girl isn’t even attractive, like a 5/10 at best, and I’ve just been rejected by her. So I decide to just leave and taxi home.

Wake up with £120 left after the first crap night and I’m the new in running joke for the flat. I was adamant that I was going to use 0 of this money to gamble but I’m pissed off so I walk to the bookies to play some roulette at 11am like a sad deranged **** which I can be.

I get to the bookies and before I know it I have blown the £120 in literally 4-5 spins on the cartoon roulette wheel without winning one chip back in like 10mins max. Mega pissed off I go back to my room and just crash for several more hours.

So I wake up like 5pm time to find a solution. I ring up my cousin who I also owe over £1k to and ask her if she can wire me some money but she is still pissy at me from the last time she sorted me out so she says she’ll only send me £20. I’m thinking £20!!!!! What the hell is that going to accomplish but I decide to bite my tongue and say yeah that would be great I can use that to get some food.

So I put the phone down she wires me the £20 and I walk straight back to the bookies. I decide to just **** or bust it- stack a ****e load on a few numbers and just pray for some run good as I need to go out tonight as the Portuguese girl finished today, and she’ll be really ****ing drunk tonight and that is my best opportunity. I load the £20 in the roulette machine and I keep hitting decent numbers easy ****ing game I have £200 in literally 3 spins of hitting my neighbour bet 3 times in a row. Do I stop? Of course not and I go on a down swing spinning £40 a pop getting nothing back and before I know it I have only £40 left in the cashier. I’m really pissed at myself so I decide to just collect it, but I quickly slap the spin button and I can’t watch the stupid ****ing cartoon graphic as I just know it is going to **** me hard and I had done the dumbest bet where I had covered very few numbers. So I don’t look and after like 15sec I turn round and I can’t believe the ****ing little rigged white ball has landed in 3 RED which was my best number with like £9.50 on it KERCHING THANK **** WOOO over £330. So time to go on a rampage and spin this up to over 1k. 4-5 spins later I’m still ****ing invincible and up to like £650 but again I never stop and after a few too many losing spins I begrudgingly collect £350 as I’m a greedy stupid ****er when I gamble.

So I’m buzzing- got enough cash to splash tonight and I just know my luck is changing I’m going to be banging this Portuguese chick tonight and life is going to be awesome.
I buy a litre of vodka, drink most of it during a pre-session, don’t particularly remember much of the night except that in the club I was challenging everyone to dance offs. I’m a pretty good wild ****ing dancer and I love dancing. A really big built black guy who was ripped to shreds and could lightning dance refused my challenge which was a shame, I went in for a hug instead and I had never got so wet from someone else’s sweat before damn the guy was soaked. Also I kind of remember jumping into the DJ booth kissing the DJ on the lips and then having a standoff with the bouncers who were trying to get me to get out of the booth. Luckily I managed to get the DJ to say I was a good friend of his and the bouncers didn’t kick me out. So I go back try and hit on my Portuguese roommate and she turns me down saying she isn’t looking to get with any one tonight.

Angry at rejection I ignore her the rest of the night and end up going back to a loose English blonde’s place and ****ing her a few times. The blonde was decent, good body the face left a bit to be desired but she was a great **** so that upped her from like a 6.5 to an 8.5 in my books. So I left Zara or Sara’s or Sarah’s whatever her ****ing name was at like 4am (got her number for a possible repeat performance when hammered in the future) taxi back to my flat and crash.

Wake up the next day sort of not feeling too good. I’m hanging from the night before, I should be more happy that I got to end my 2 month barren run of no action but I’m still annoyed that the Portuguese girl rejected me. I think I had sort of fallen for her over the last few months so I wasn’t really enjoying the fact I still had like £260 and my dick had got wet.

So I decide to go back to the bookies. Lose the whole £260 again ultra ****ing quickly. Maybe within 15mins tops. Same routine pissed off so back to bed sleep this **** off and work out how to get out of the mess of no money again.

I sleep for like 18hrs straight miss the rest of the day and night. Wake up like 8am the next day. Decide to ring me younger brother up next. I owe him roughly £400 but it’s not official, I think he’s probably wrote it off for the next 2-3 years. He’s pretty strapped for cash but decides to wire me only £40 so I can have one last budget night out and try and crack this Portuguese nut.

So I’m tidying up the filth that has accumulated in my room over the last few days- beer bottles, fast food containers strewn all over the place. Then I see my only pair of decent shoes have died, they are literally ****ed from the night before. This will not do, I dress smart when I’m on the town and now I have no adequate footwear….. BALLS & I only have £40. Even a cheap **** pair of black shoes is going to set me back £20. So I go on my gut instinct- bookies time to win a pair of shoes.

I’m walking to the bookies toying how much to spin and I know I should just **** or bust the first spin to try and make £60 odd to get some shoes. As I’m walking I find £15 on the floor (a £5 and a £10 note) sweet I rarely find money. Now I’m feeling superstitious this is going to be a great ****ing day I just feel it- I just found like 30% of my net worth on the floor everything is looking up. I pussy the roulette machine and just stick a £5 in as I really don’t want to lose all this money as I’m running out of people to tap up and if I don’t get to hit on my Portuguese roommate tonight that will suck massively. I run the £5 into £50 in god mode. I decide to just leave go get some vodka, cheap black shoes and freshen up for the night out. Sure I’m a little wound up that I only put £5 in as I should have like an extra couple ton in my back pocket but I was on a mission to nail the Portuguese girl.

I buy a litre of vodka, after getting the shoes I have like £50 on me which is literally a shoe string budget and doesn’t leave me much flexibility but I plan to just get really drunk, dance a bit and have my roommate ride me so don’t need much cash. We pre drink for a couple of hours in the flat we’re all wasted but as usual I’ve drunk the most and I am probably the most ****ed. Within 20mins of getting in the club I try hitting on my roommate again (can’t remember **** what I said) and she is having none of it so we argue I have her in tears and I decide to just leave the club early as I’m really ****ing pissed off fuming that I couldn’t have her.

So I’m walking around town it is like 1am still got like £40 on me. I end up In some ****ty late night slot machine arcade playing a ******ed version of rigged roulette with tiny capped prizes but I’m not really paying attention as I feel really drunk/heartbroken/angry and I can’t listen to my own thoughts as some middle aged drunk loser is having a massive argument with the arcade lady because he has taken too many packets of free crisps. I’m just sitting in this ****e arcade thinking oh my ****ing god what the hell is going on I should not be in here right now, surrounded by ****ing sad muppets, I should be ****ing my future wife.

So I lose all my money and have to walk back home which takes me nearly 2 hours. It’s now nearly 4am one of my other roommates is up. He tells me I could have hooked up with a friend of a friend who is a 7/10 fit tall ginger ballerina as she really liked me when we were pre-session drinking but I screwed it up by chasing the Portuguese girl in the club. So I’m sort of gutted at that, thinking of all the mindblowing things she can do with her long legs, but it doesn’t faze me too much as I still cannot stop thinking about the Portuguese girl (I have never mentioned her name here as I’m so ****ing angry at her right now I’m trying to erase her from my mind so she will just be remembered as lying manipulative mind gaming Portuguese bitch). I ask what the others are up to. My roommate says CAM hooked up with …. the ****ing bitch that kept rejecting me the last few days they’re probably in bed ****ing right now. I’m ****ing speechless she wanted CAM that boring whiny bastard ….. and I obviously gift wrapped her to any guy the way I left her in the club…FML!!!!!!

Now I just need to go to sleep, wake up and find a way to get some money to go over to see the blonde bird but knowing my luck she won't be keen. FFS.

Great story countfish, thanks for sharing. You'll get over that portugese girl soon enough. It sounds like you have plenty of other options.

Lay off the roulette btw. Sounds like you have used up your rungood for the next 2 years.