Amazing story

OMG Sweat you are the king!

This can't end well.

I have read a lot of great posts on two plus two, in this thread and others...and I think Sweats stories are BY FAR the best written and the most entertaining! I can't wait for the next installment...Keep em coming Sweat!!!

8.5/10 degen scale for SweatOnMySkin

Solid.

Score subject to improve after final installment.

Entertaining read mate. Keep 'em coming. I pitied the fat chick a bit b.t.w. Her crying and you going medieval on her ass...

Not sure if this has been posted but definitely the funniest degen of all time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh5lyRxlKAg

Man loses all his money on carnival game

I got backdoor flushed earlier when I flopped a set against TPTK OTF. I lost $3 in that pot, but it put me in such a bad mood I was tilted for the rest of the day. I'm not kidding.

Edit: I work two part-time jobs, one pays $20 an hour and the other $11 an hour. I'm so pathetic and now realize I shouldn't play poker because I'm such a pussy

If only that guy were to post in this thread.

and SweatOnMySkin you are the man.

I feel cheated that I have just now stumbled upon this thread as the height of my debauchery may sadly be in my past as I no longer play online and have a desk job. But I will try to share some of my finest moment here.

It was 2006 and I was 21, I had splashed around on pacific poker with decent success at the $5-10 HUNL and other low stakes sit and goes, but had no idea what a BR was. I though 100 was plenty to play $10 HUsng's. This obviously resulted in me busting my roll every month or so and left me wondering why I was the most unlucky guy in the world.

So one day my roommate met a bro that worked for a rakeback site and he sent us $50 each on Empire poker, which was great being that I just busted my roll on pacific and had to wait for the next paycheck to reload, it takes a while making $15/hour...
Anyways, I start playing the $10 sngs and roll the 50 up to around 500. I decide, being that I am the greatest player alive and all that I should start playing the 100-200 sngs. My heater continues and I run the initial 50 up to $2,000. Then I read the worst book of my life - "Fortunes Formula". It’s a about this guy Kelly who made a formula to maximize your winnings by allocating the optimal amount in any game you have an edge on. That’s cool and all but the kicker was he mentioned the martingale system. Good ole degen Martingale really messed **** up for me.

So I take my 2,000 to the virtual BJ table on empire and start martingalling at $5 units. In the first two days I won 1,000. I thought I was a freaking genius. I kept pushing and the next day I start using a $25 unit and boom 2,500 profit the next day. My br was up to 5,500 in one week’s work. I thought I was so dam smart. I kept pushing and won $7,500 the next day. I thought I was the king of the world. I took the week off work and starting taking all my friends out to dinner and buying clothes and pretty much anything that I felt was stupid. It was like I was saying **** you to the money, real smart I know.
Then reality set in. The next time I played I lost 3,000. Uh oh, reality check. I couldn’t believe it. I had all my winnings in netteller (or maybe epassport can’t remember which one was taking US business at that point) and had been spending money on credit cards. I ended up blasting off all my winnings, depositing another 1,000 from my credit card, and draining my bank account to an overdrawn balance and losing it all. FML.
I went from having 13,000 on a Monday to no cash, a negative balance in my checking account and 3,000 on my credit card by Friday. I wanted to die.

So what do I do? Well I start calling everyone in my family and asking for money obv. My parents threw me out when I was 18 so no dice there and my uncle kicked me out of his place shortly after so I was running out of options. My brother was broker than me and so were my friends. Finally my aunt takes pity on me and wires me $500. After the overdraft fees and everything I think I was able to pull out about $400 from my account without having to close the thing.

I immediately proceed to head to Canterbury; the local cardrrom that only spreads LHE knowing this this will be a long journey. I sit at the 8/16 game and decide I am going to try and log some hours to get my roll back. I start on a massive heater and run it up to 1200. At this point I know there is only one obvious place to be, the 30/60 game duh.
So I head to 30/60 and continue to my heater and run the stack up to about 2200. I feel like the king of the ****ing world. Who cares that I am still down over 10k from my highpoint? At least I have 2200 stacked in front of my in beautiful brown $10 chips.
I keep pushing and finally the variance turns. I run KK in a 6 way capped pot into a flop of k55 and am counting my money. Obviously the villain has 55 and takes 15 bets off me. I go on monkey tilt and lose all my money.

I walk to the valet defeated and realize I don’t even have the $5 to pay the valet, FMFL. I try to explain myself and the bro just looks at me, shakes his head and hands me the keys. I try to give him some quarters from my random car change and he shakes his head again and says I need it more than him. I wanted to ****ing cry.
I drove home going 100 the whole time wishing a ****ing pig would pull me over, I felt like anything could be better than how I felt. When I got home all I could think about was not how I should not be gambling but how I was going to get more money so I could win it all back

And a degen was born.

hahaha Mooaarr!

Ok, I think that's enough sweat, SweatOnMySkin please bring us part 4!!!

Mooaarr!

part 4???

Reading these stories helps put things in perspective. I have been so frustrated with myself lately for being such a degen, so it helps to know there are others out there.

I've always liked poker, have dabbled online and live, but have never fully committed. Having said that, I've probably lost around 1k until this year playing it. I guess I would say I have somewhat of a gambilng problem, particularly when it comes to betting. I once won about 4k on a big multi and have probably been a lot more loose in my gambling habits as a result.

A little about myself: I'm a law student, get good grades, and usually work pretty hard. It's now exams, when I'd be in the library studying, but I decided to smash out some poker. I entered a $3.30 rebuy tourney on full tilt. Won it, got 1.3k. At this stage, I think I'm King Kong, and start doing heads up SnGs, working up to around 2k. Get drunk one night, eventually play a 600 HU, lose it. Get angry, play a 1k HU (remember I'm degen, don't know bankroll management), lose it. Damn. Deposit $500, lose it. I keep depositing between $200-500 on stars and ftp over a 2 week period. I work up to 1.8k again, play cash games, lose it all. I end up depositing around $4.5k over this period, now have $20.

It has been a true degen lifestyle during those 2 weeks. It's currently my exam period and I've barely touched my books, as I've spent about 10 hours of each day playing poker. It's little things that remind you of your degen ways: checking your phone at 2AM after a serious poker sesh and realising you have missed calls from 12PM the day prior, but not noticing because you haven't done anything but poker. I hope my marks don't suffer too much. Yeah, I've lost 4k, but that's nothing in the long run; affecting your future prospects, that's a big deal.

It frustrates me because I'm pretty good at tourneys, I just get absolutely slaughtered in cash games because I play far too high stakes for my BR and consequently play way too tight. I will probably quit now, but perhaps the prospect of winning it back is too enticing. To be frank, I've still got quite a bit of money in the bank, but losing 4k is not good for a student looking to travel soon. I mean, ****, I could have given that to charity.

To be fair, you technically did.

the night i degened 15k of my 30k online roll off too ronnyr haggingol paul adler and the like, never came back, probably degened a good $40k at online plo :/

True. I guess I can find solace in my charitable intentions.

thats so sickkk ...

Part 4 man! Part 4!

+1000!!!

part 4 better be coming soon, this is epic!

SweatOnMySkin- just wow. Love the cliffhangers, roll on part 4!

SweatOnMySkin: this is a thread for degens, not poets. Loving your tale, A+.

Sweat wins the thread. NEED part 4!