i fell out of my chair at work, this is pure brilliance

Funny how he lists his possessions as a motorcycle, a few bucks in his pocket and a few other things when he went broke, but didn't list having a girlfriend worth maybe 200+ million.

It's obviously before he met her. He says it was before his poker days, and they didn't meet until he was a pro poker player.

Who was her girlfriend ?

If you're being serious you should STFU and go cry in the 'is poker rigged?' thread.

wow! just wow.

Gold star to you!

needs bump

great link, thanks

Bonanza. Walking past all those homeless laying on sidewalk. Pretty sobering experience.

Who are they fooling? If you buy a scratch off ticket for $5 and "win" $5, you didn't really win anything. The 3.15 to 1 chance of "winning" is highly flawed and mis-leading. People actually play state lotteries?

Always kept my money pretty evenly spread throughout the 3 sites. And was pretty good with bankroll management(except for the occasional slip up.)

April 13th- Bad day at MTTs and lose like 1K. I decide **** it, im gonna make a run at blackjack with $200 on AP. Lose the $200, decide okay well ill just put in another $200 and make it back. No Luck. $400...? nope. By the end im down 10K and bust my AP account.

Wow that sucked... but its okay ill just make it back on full tilt playing some $1K HUs. Boom make it back in like 15 matches. Game over, lesson learned right? nahhh lets play some $2K HUs and go on a run!! By the end of my session i lose back the 8K i won plus another 10K and bust my Full Tilt account.

April 14th- Realized what an idiot i was and figured okay well ill just transfer money from Pokerstars to AP and FullTilt and get back on the grind and make it back in 2 months or so. So end up pulling some string and trading 20K on Pokerstars for 10K on AP and 10K on Fulltilt. Start grinding and feel somewhat refreshed.

April 15th- Well we all know what happened here. So my stupid $200 beginning binge on AP blackjack ended up costing me about 38K. 18K losing that night and 20K more that i'll prolly never see from Tilt and AP.

Could i have picked a worse time to do that!?

This thread has to be one of the best on all of 2+2. I rated this thread 5stars and I enjoy most of the stories even though some of them are just messed up and don't even seem real. Keep the stories coming!

My freshman year in college (last year), I played so much poker and went to so few classes that I got 3 credit hours my first semester (out of like 16 total). I lost my athletic and academic scholarships and lied to my parents about it (who were paying for the difference). they got a letter in the mail saying during winter break i was on academic probation. They asked if this would affect my scholarships and i said it not. They agreed that I should go back but i would have to try harder, etc.

For about a week after returning to school, I went to every class, did my homework, and didn't play poker. Then, I had some free time one Sunday and played the 1/4 Million on stars. I final tabled for about 10k, which was huge for me. At this point, I decided "**** it, I don't need no learnin'" and started playing poker full time.

I played both online and live every day. I would wake up at around noon, play online till about 6, the go to a cardroom about an hour away and play until I was too tired to play any more. This was usually in the wee hours of the morning. Multiple times, I fell asleep on the drive home and nearly died. One time I woke up with my bumper hitting the back of a semi.

During this time, I alienated myself from nearly all of my friends. My social life consisted of hanging out with this weird emo kid and talking about how to get rich quick (stealing an ATM was one of our half baked schemes). My dorm-mate, who I had previously been really good friends with, became increasingly frustrated with my social awkwardness and strange hours and finally said he couldn't take it any more and switched roommates.

My bankroll, which was basically all I was really concerned with, was in decent shape. I had about 16k on stars, 7k on tilt, and about 4k in real life. At this point, I decided I liked the software on tilt better and I withdrew 10k from stars and put it on tilt. This was early in April-- should clue you in to what happened next...

I continued my degen schedule for the next few weeks when, while playing online, I recieved a phone call from the guy who ran the card room I went to everyday. He asked me if I was playing online. When I said yes, he broke terrible news... You know, that news that broke in mid-April that rocked the poker world?

I panicked. I had $25,400 online and about 2k irl... ****! I had no idea whether I would be able to get the money. I tried to withdraw from both sites... Nothing... I was so tilted that I sat at a 10knl hu table on FT (the software was still running at that time). no surprise that I lost all 10k (little did I know that it was actually play money). I literally cried after that. I had just lost 10k and possibly all 25.4k I had online. I had dedicated almost every waking hour of every day for almost a year to poker, and now I had almost nothing to show for it.

I looked to see if I had any chance of passing my classes in school. I would have to get basically perfect grades from then on out to pass anything. I decided to give it a shot. But I found that I couldn't focus in class and was unable to do homework because I was so distracted by poker. I gave up...

I started sleeping till 4pm every day and then going to the card room after I woke up. The play at this room was horrendous, but I still was unable to beat the game. I lost almost every day.

I had no qualifications for any decent job and didnt want to work in a minimum wage ****hole. I cashed 1k in savings bonds my parents had saved up for me since I was 2. I then pawned my $5000 bicycle for $500. I went to my bank and withdrew everything I had from it. I then went to the cardroom I played at and played a rebuy tourney. I shipped it for $600. I had 4k in cash, and that was every penny I had in the world.

Meanwhile, this was the day before finals began at my school. Several professors called me and told me that I could still pass if I aced their finals. I did not go.

I called my parents and told them I had finals for the next two weeks and they could help me move out then.

I took all my cash, a blanket and a pillow, and a bag of clothes and went 5 hours north to the nearest casino that accepted 18 year olds. I drove straight through and immediately sat at a 1-2nl game. This casino was hosting an HPT event in two weeks.

For the next week and five days, I went on a sick heater, running betterthan imaginable at poker, blackjack, and slots.. I ran the 4k up to 12k. It appeared I was going to have something to fall back on.

Then, with the influx of players for the HPT event, bigger games became available. I decided to play the sick heater I was on. I played anything up to 10-20 round by round (PLO+nl). The first day of this, I lost 5k.

Ok, I thought. I still had 7k left. The way I was running, I would win it back. I slept decent that , then returned to the casino early and played some 10-20 limit. I lost another 1k there. I was tilted. I played from 9am straight through to 9am the next day. At that point, I was back down to 4k. I had to meet my parents the next day and I had to pack everything in my dorm before hand.

However, I did not quit. I sat in a 10-20nl game with 1/2 my remaining money. A few hours in, I got set over setted on a dry board and lost my stack. I re ought fr the Alston 2k I had. I got that in with a flush v a set. The board paired.

My heart sank all the way to my knees. I had about $20 left... Not even enough to get back to my dorm room. I checked the time. It was 1am. I had to meet my parents in about 8 hours.

I went to the blackjack table with my $20 and places $5 bets. I lost four hands in a row. I Was so ****ing scared. I went to my car and tried to sleep for a while. I couldn't. I went back into the casino and tried to watch tv. Time went by so slowly. This was the worst I ever felt in my life.

At 8am, I called my parents and told them I had to fisnish packing and saying good bye to some friends at school. I asked if they could come the next day. They agreed. I then drove to a pawn shop I had seen on the way to the casino and sold my gps for $40. I went back to the blackjack pit with that $40. I said I would leave if I got it up to $80 (I thought that would be enough for gas). At one point I had $80, but I did not quit. I lost it all.

After, I went to the poker room. I had to try something, to get a stake, anything. I saw a guy I had talked to some previously. I asked him if we could work something out. He politely told me he only brought enough for himself. Subsequently, I basically stalked him around the casino begging for any sort of stake. "100 please!" he denied me.

I checked the time. It was 8pm.

I decided I had no option but to call my parents and tell them the truth. I told then everything and said that I was dead broke and needed $100 to get home. This was the most painful conversation I ever had in my life.

At the end of the conversation, they said they would wire $100 to my bank account when the banks opened in the am.

after this convo, I went to my car and tried to sleep. I couldn't. I cried all night instead. At 9am, my parents called and said the money was in my account. I left immediately, vowing never to gamble again,

Of course the first thing I did when I got my pokerstars $ was deposit 90% of it on a site that accepted US players... I'm still a degenerate, but at least I'm not broke now!

My parents cleaned my room and packed my stuff and found the pawn ticket for my bike ( which they had bougt) and since I had no money, had to go buy it back for 675, which was basically all their cash. They have never trusted me at anything ever since.

Holy **** this is depressing... at least the worst is over. Damn. True degen story right there.

that story made me really sad... I think I'll go to more classes next week

Epic degen but I feel bad for your parents. If you have kids one day, just remember how well your parents treated you when your kid does some stupid **** like that.

58th trimester abortioin

I had a similar experience to this.

No money in Stars account, used my FPP's tp enter 10 man SnG, won that for $11. Then played the $11 180 SnG and take it down for roughly $400 or $500 i think, not sure. Spinned that up to $12,000 in two hours just moving up stakes and taking shots ( and running ridiculously well).

Sat on 100/200 on Start with full roll and first hand I get is KK. At this point my mates are scouring the net to book flights to Ibiza for a week, all on me obviously! Anyway I raised pot, villian 3Bet and immediately I put him on Aces not realising the level and stakes I was playing at. Thinking about pushing all in but becuase of my ridiculous thinkin that he had Aces thought Id' see a flop.

Flop comes Kxx two hearts. BINGO!

I proceed to slowplay, check call flop.

Check turn and he checks back.

River comes heart.

I bet out river and he goes all in having me covered.

SNAP CALL and whatdya know, he shows up with Q8 of hearts.

The Ibiza trip soon became another pipe dream for the foreseeable future.

Back in middle school I got my first 'F' ever on a test. My mom was not happy and I was grounded. The next day she was talking about it to a janitor at work and the janitor was like, "yeah, my kid last week took $20 out of my purse, stole my boyfriends car and didn't come home till the morning." When my mom got home she told me I was ungrounded, I had to study harder next time, hugged me and told me I was an angel.

doesn't quite compare to the story you were referring to...

yeah man, holy s**t, that story is crazy, I can't believe that all happened to you.

that story made tears fall from my eyes, just because i know how the feeling is,trainwreck over your stomach, seems like everything is gonna fall down.

here is my story:

Back to 17 years old i was finishing highschool,and playing magic the gathering,i travel all around the world with MTG,and won 10k doing it, last year of highschool i start to play really good snooker and pool, and one day a guy was teasing me to play him for 50€ , and i say ok lets do it,this is where my deg story begins,easiest 50€ in my life, he not even played, this runs for all the school, and my ego was high as hell, i start to make bets against every single guy in the poolroom, old mans that seemed to play the game bad for 40 years or anyone that challenged me ,i made about 2000€ in 3 month which was a lot,between pool, alchool, girls, and everysingle stupid you wanna do when ur 17 obvious i stop going to school,i start smoking ,waking up at 8 am to go to poolroom instead of going to school and arriving home at 2 am with ur mother screaming at y0u, why the hell you so late,i reming i just thinked i have to leave home im sick of this bit**
when ur 17 ur always right
One night i was playing mTG at someones house , and one guy start to talk about poker,how easy it was,i was immediately fascinated.Next day i search online poker,look everything related to poker and open an account on empirepoker, an affiliate of party.
I traded 50$ from mTg online to poker,i start playing fixed limit games,i run up to 2000$ always move up stakes quickly, then i enter in a 200$ tornament and final tabled for more 4k , so first week of poker i had turn 50 into 6k, i wwas static, i couldnt believe,told my mum, told my friends, i remember my mum tells me but it i really your money ,you can transfer the money to the bank, and she convinced me to do it,and i cashout 3000€ in that time euro= dolar, good times, so i had 3000 to play and i immediately start to play 20-40 fixed limit SH, i went up to 14k, cashout 10k to titanpoker and start play on titan 50-100 fixed, seemed i couldnt loose ,at some point i had 32k on titan poker 5k on party and money on the bank, i couldnt be more happy,when i turned 20 i had around 100k all around.Suddenly my girlfriend i dated for 4 years broke up with me when we plan to live together, i start to loose, i dont know if it was because i am very emotional, and i couldnt focus myself,but i start to loose, seemed my life was gonna end,i never played higher than 100-200fixed, but i lost all the money i had.100 thousand dollars,when i told to my mother her reaction was ,now you will got a job and stop with that game.she already left you,dont put people apart. At this point i wasnt playing any more MTG, but i return to play because i was broke at poker, and i placed 2nd in the nacional championship and 5th in the world championship .
I wOn 2k from the worlds, so deposit on poker and lost it all again,from my 20s to my 25s i have had several part time jobs to allow me to play poker and have money, more than 20 times i had deposit 50 or 100$ and run up to 20000$ and lost it all back because i couldnt stop, i remind myself many of these times, i deposit 50$ on pokerstars grind so much hard for 2 or 3 weeks and make 20k and then put money on high stakes and donk everything away, i feel like im gonna fall down to the floor and nobody will be there to lift me up...many times i lied to about everyone to play ,i had a fund from my grandfather to my drivers license that i cashed to play poker.2 years ago i had a fight with some guy because of poker, we were at casino table he was swearing at me told me to go outside ,my ego just couldnt allow that i did, some time later i had to go to the court to pay him 5000€ for agression because he was injured,facking bull****, i had no money no job,i had a deadline to pay the money or i was going to jail, time has passed,my parents ask a loan to the bank to pay this for me,i grab the money and went to a 10-20 Live game in a casino,blackjack and roullete, and lost it all, i came in a bus at morning thinking im going to jail , icouldnt slept that night,i asked everyone of my friends, everyone said no to me,they knew how degen i was,i had 4 days to pay the money,i not even had 20$ in my wallet,completely broke,last days i won 11$ in a freerole,and played a 11$ torney where i won 260$ from there i made the 5000€ playing snghu small mtts,i spend like 40 hours playing non stop to try to make the money,i cashed out from pokerstars to neteller and paid with my card. after that i start working and i didnt play poker for 6 month.
I said to myself a million times,i wil never go broke again

I dont know if there is angel somewhere looking for me,sometimes i think there is.
I will never go broke again, because i just learned the way. I am a proudly 1-2 NL reg with 60k profit lifetime and i have no intentions of playing high.( pro nit)

we just cant let this game control us,we are in control!

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I actually liked that story until it started hurting my eyes half way through and now I have a migraine. Seriously, did you ever go to school?

In high school I was playing heads-or-tails, blackjack, rock-paper-scisors and the dice game for quarters at every lunch break. Sometimes I would go the entire lunch without eating and completely **** my afternoon classes up. I would either be broke thinking about the next gambling session or I would be up a couple of bucks thinking I did good not to eat.

One day I started gambling on credit and owed someone $100. That was a LOT of money back then and no way I was ever going to come up with it unless I stole from parents (something I would kill myself before ever consider doing). So I told him I would pay him on [date], which was the last day of school and told him I have rich parents and will have access to it by then.

He would just sit on my $100 I.O.U. and not give me a chance to win my money back. Everyday I would buy a fancy new dice and try to convince him of playing me again. He would agree, we'd start off with quarters and once I had wiped out a chunk of the debt he would agree to play for dollars in hopes of getting back to the $100 mark. At one point in time, a losing streak got me $125 in debt and he agreed to play one shot for $25 and spot if he loses. Basically I had nothing to gain since I wasn't gonna be able to come up with $100 anyways. So I agreed to do it one shot. He won. $150... $175... $200... $250... $300... $400... $500...

I made a deal with to play me for a larger amount one time (because I know he wouldn't be able to stop) and if he lost, I would pay him a week earlier. After a dreadful losing streak, I ended up owing him $6900. That was an astronomically absurd amount at that point in time. He was generally a calm and cool guy but he was starting to threaten to sell the debt to some not so nice people if I didn't pay up and that he was going to tell my parents. I told him don't worry about it I will have the money (I was 15 at that time so no way I was going to have it).

The same routine continued for week, during classes, during breaks, lunch breaks and hours after school hours: New gambling memorabilia, new type of game, weirder stakes. As much as he wanted to sit on his lead, I always had a way to get him to play me our exponentially increasing stakes and I always found a way to end the session at ANY number besides the one we started with, or dead on the number so he feels like he wasted his time and continues to play me.

That went on for months until I was finally ended up owing him:



That's right. We started with quarters and in our exponentially increasing stakes due to decreasing marginal utility of money and pipe dreams, I ended up owing him 20 million dollars. He sold $1 million of debt to each and every one of his tough buddies until one day at lunch hour they all surrounded me and started harassing me about the money. The security guard came in and took me and the original guy into his office. I told the security guy I could never dream of $20 million and that it was all in joke. My gambling rival denied it and told the whole story about how it all began and escalated.

They called our parents. My story about the "joke" more or less held up. I mean let's face it, $20 million of debt between a couple of 15 year olds on illegal gambling activity that took place on school property was not going to hold up. The cops came. They inspected our pockets and our wallets. My parents vouched for me that I was a good boy and that I was going to be disciplined for my actions. They had no clue how many school hours and how much time off lunch break, study hours and after school I actually spent on gambling.

We played everything. Heads or tails, rock paper scissors, dice, blackjack, high card, rummy, mississippi, Pool, foosball, basketball, arcade racing, push-ups, foot racing, you name it.

The school put us both on probation and put a strict warning against gambling in next year's rule book (my graduation year). I thought that was the end of it. I was a good boy the whole of next year, graduated with flying colors. Little did I know, the freedom coming with upcoming years of college was just the beginning of my degeneracy and the crazy unimaginable swings.

I technically have $20,000,000 of unpaid gambling debts and thousands in un-received gambling debts owing to me by low-life degenerates even worst than me who never finished school. But that does not near compare to the millions that I am running below EV in tournaments and cash games at the current moment.

^ lol you suck at gambling

WutangPoker,

You have awesome parents. It's a shame you haven't been able to kick your gambling habit though even after hitting rock bottom.