The fact that you were able to learn how to code in order to keep your job is amazing to me

This whole story was actually pretty nuts, thanks for sharing this.

I'm wondering in the few months you avoided gambling, what kept you clean for as long as it did?

Try to find another passion like Golf or Tennis and host a weekly low limit game with mates. You can do it

psilocybin

first of all, i'm glad pockets mentioned some of his stories were less than 100% accurate, always suspected the odds of the same account having the most absurd tales over and over again was maybe just spinning yarn

always believed he was a true degen though and believe it or not, pretty much assumed he was in software sales given he'd need a high income and no supervision to do what he claims

but now to do more than just bump the thread

not sure if i shared this one before, it's not me but it's a roommate so maybe that counts?

Was living in Beijing, it was me, another poker player a guy who ran his own startup and another kid in B school.

roomate in B school, let's call him steve, get's fronted 1kg of hash by a total stranger while he was attempting to buy a personal baggy and he become an impromptu dealer, sells it for 10x profit.

Steve is making an absurd amount of money and basically vaping his own stuff 24/7. Smokes so much that he shatters his kneecap while wrestling a friend but is self medicating so much the pain isn't that big a deal and so he waits 3 days before going to the hospital when he realized there truly was something wrong.

He has surgery and is bedridden for months, attempts continuing school without going to class and basically just people showing up 24/7 to our place, buying bags off him and leaving.

During this time he's had a lot of free time on his hands and devises an ingenous method to winning at roulette. He even downloaded casino simulators and had an insanely lenthy excel file where he tracked results. He basically reinvented Martingdale without any prior knowledge of Martingdale. We explain to him what he's done and why it doesn't work. He doesn't believe us, afterall, he's had months to simulate the results and he's finally able to walk again so he's just dying to use his system.

Now me and the other poker player regularly went down to Macau, but we wouldn't be part of this. We knew this led to busto and didn't want to be there enabling him. He ignores all our advice, points out his system is infallible, fills a backback with cash and hops on a plane. We get a few of degen stories but not much chatter about what's going on at the felt, assuming the worst is happening.
He's supposed to be back on Monday but he doesn't show up. Now we're getting concerned. We call/email him but no answer and no response.

Finally he shows up a week later. Dude was in jail. First night he did make a little money but not much and then went doing his degenning and partying off all the profits and then some. The next day, he went back at. Says at one point he had a pretty good profit going, but then the inevitable happened, he had a streak of 6-7 losses in a row that busts you.

Completely busted, he hops on the free shuttle to the airpot to go home. Here's where he gets his new stop loss system. He never told us how much he lost, but it's easily over 50k USD as he believed stealing a 30k watch would get him back half his losses. He was so stuck and couldn't get out that "I can't believe I just lost that money" mindset that while at the airport he saw a shop with expensive watches and figured just steal a watch and he's ok. He asked to see a number of them at once, started playing around with them and the minute the staff turned to another customer he slipped one in his pocket then left. Immediately the alarms went off and all this security he never saw before just came out of nowhere and surrounded him. Spent a week in a Hong Kong jail (was probably lucky it was HK and not Macau) while they processed his paperwork and his dad's lawyer got him out.

Took over 50k USD in drug money to Macau
Lost it in Martingdale
Went to jail attempting to steal a watch so trip wouldn't be a total loss

Who is Dale?

I actually just reread it for the first time since I wrote the post. Life is a ****ing ride and when you’re a degen that ride is amplified by chemical and artificial highs and lows. That post was when I finally checked my ego. I saw one poster say Shrooms, nah.. for me I’ve always dabbled in psychedelics and preferred lsd over shrooms anyway. I guess I was just tired of lying in general so I just made a real effort to stop over time.

To answer your question about my months of abstinence from gambling it was pure willpower and I would fight it everyday. It may have worked with some of my other addictions but gambling is a dirty hot whore at 3am after a fat line. She always finds her way back in unless replaced by a personal well though out plan to quit that’s based on why you gamble in the first place. For me? Still haven’t figured out that plan.

I’ll write up an update in next few weeks as some interesting stuff is still in progress.

Part 1:
I have many degen stories to share but i try to keep it gambling related.
This will probably a rather lengthy post since i will just start typing and hope it is somehow cohesive ond comprehensive.

When i was 18-19ish, that was around the year 2005, i just finished school and in the summer break i would take up a job that required me to stay at a vacation where i only had extremely ****ty internet (dial up modem **** yeah!). At that time i was a really good player in a pretty well known real time strategy game, i would face the best pro players in ladder since i had a similar MMR (ELO). But unlike them i was never good enough to make a living out of that, i only get minor stuff like high end gaming gear as part of a sponsorship i had with my clan.
Since i always had a talent for strategy games, poker was only the natural conclusion, and i wanted to make some money off of that because i knew i would never be a top 10 player in my game (my motorical functions and reaction speed was subpar to the pros).

At that time there were free no debit promotions for 50 dollars, so i answered a quiz and got a 50 dollar deposit on PP.
I was doing pretty well at 10NL, but i had huge tilt issues which resulted in my going up the stakes to win it back (which seems to be a pretty common issue here ). Naturally i lost the 50bucks pretty quickly and direct debit funds to my account, as such things go, my bankroll management was to reload 50 bucks and go to 50nl. Long story short i busted serveral buyins, and in a couple of days i was down 500$.
To win it back i went to 100NL, i ran it up to 400dollars (100dollars max buyin), then a hand happened that will be forever stuck in head. I was playing really aggressive, bluffed a ****load and always would get the pot, and when i had a hand i would be payed off.
So i get into a pot with a guy that also had around 400bucks, i have JJ so it goes raise reraise call. The flop is J49 rainbow, i have top set and since the guy wanted to bluff my off my hand after some raising and reraising he is allin.
There are 800bucks in the middle, a massive pot. He shows A2o, i was really reliefed and thought to myself "lol wtf was he doing", turn 3, river 5. My brain didnt even realize it, i was in full adrenaline mode and was fully expecting the pot to be pushed towards me, but it didnt. I thought the software bugged out or something... i reread the hand and he had the straight.
I was in absolute shock, like real shock. The guy in the chat says "sry mate, i even left the room because i knew i was just bluffing you lol".
Still in shock i rebuy, i ran up my stack to around 200 again in about 5mins, i didnt even know what i had, i just know i had the nuts straight on the flop, same guy from the previous hand puts me allin on the turn. He shows mid set, and boats up on the river.

After that i went on a massive donkeytilt spree, i lost around 4k in that month (that was twice the amount of money i was getting for the job in the first place). I keept donking away another 1k when i was home, until the bank called my parents (small town, local bank facility manager knows them personally) and tells them i m 3k in debt and my reached my overdraw limit.
I come clean to my parents and the bank guy advises them to reverse all the transactions.
This is the first part of the degen story, life was ok back then.

So here is part 2:

So after that short endavour, i never deposited again, i played some promorolls that were available at that time but i went busto pretty quickly. Didnt play poker for over a decade, and nothing gambling related.

Since i dropped out of university 10years ago, never attended, told my parents i was there but i all i did was get up in the morning, said bye and drove around with my car for 4-5 hours to return back later). I "forged" university documents, to show my parents i had decent grades, until one day the university sends a letter that i ve been expelled since i didnt meet the requirements. After that i was kicked out from my parents home. I got a ****ty aparment and continued to live on welfare (i m from germany so you get rent paid and some extra money) for half a decade, heavily internet addicted until i picked up a ****ty job.
Did well at the job, since i m really good at selling people stuff and they really like to talk to me, but a deadend job nevertheless.
I registered to a pokersite once again when i was 30, 1k down the drain until i was busto and rent wouldnt be paided if i did continue.
At that time my head was full of **** on how i should go on with my life, i developed a more or less severe alcohol addiction. After work i would walk home 10km and have around 3 beers, but half the time i would continue until i m would either throw up or pass out.

Last year i gave it another shot, i load my last 100 bucks since i was again on welfare, i had to quit the job since it became unbearable, they had astronomical expectations in sale quotas while the pay was getting worse. I outlasted many many people, they even called me "i belong to the inventory", but i was there for a merely 2 1/2 years. Basically a meatgrinder, people never stayed longer than a month.
So again i didnt give a **** about bankroll management, so busto again, loaded up another 200-300 (that i didnt have) from paypal since the failed withdrawl from my bankaccount would only be noticed 2 weeks later.
At one point i was playing 1500 10cents (!!!!!!!!!!!) sit and goes with 20% rake. You can imagine i nearly lost my mind. When i had 10bucks i would play 1 dollar sit and goes. Rent money bounced, i didnt have anything to eat except collect some bottles for recycling to get some food in.
I then played a 5 dollar satellite, got the buyin for the tournament, won 100 bucks. This was like a fortune to me since i was absolutely at rock bottom, point 0. I continued to play various satellites, got a mincash at a 5 dollar tournament, bought into a 20 dollar tourney late reg:

First hand i m in the BB with AJ (10-15 bb), all folds to the button, min raise, i go allin, he shows aces. Then flop brick brick jack, turn brick, river jack.
I cracked the aces, 5 hours later i take down the whole tournmanet for 2k. I ve nearly had tears in my eyes when i binked the tournament. I could now pay rent, food and my bills.

I stayed diciplined, i only played for a max of a 5dollar buyin, one time late night there is a 1 dollar sub sub satellite to a 100dollar buyin, but with overlay. So i register, i was headsup, lost the HU, so nada. But the same satellite was starting over again. THis time i take down the ticket to the next satellite for the main tourney with a 1k buyin. I managed to take that down too. Now i m in a 1k dollar buyin tourney (when 3 weeks earlier i played 10cent s&gs), i win the tourney and take down 18k dollars.
When i win i feel numb, like nothing, like i just won some of those sit and goes.
After that i tell my family and friends i won around 20k in poker. I go on a 4 day drinking binge, only beer i dont eat any food. When the binge stops my room is filled with 50 bottles of beer and other alcoholic beverages.

I continue to play the micro stakes, next month i bink one tournament and get 3 plays in another on the same day. But then my play becomes neurotic, i only try to get to min cashes, i watch my bankroll even if i just register for a 5 dollar tourney/satellite. My bankroll doesnt increase but i also do not lose any money. After 7 months i notice that i play too nitty, too scared, my bankroll management is too neurotic. So i watch gambling channels on youtube, i see them playing slots binking large scores. I never touched the casino, only if i get some freerolls and then i spend those 5 bucks and quickly leave. So after a month of watching those i wanted to get some fun aswell since i have been so neurotic about my bankroll and this wasnt the long term way to go about it, i had to loosen up.
So i fire some slots 30cents per spin, i m down 50 bucks, go on a tilt and increase the wager, bing... i win 300 bucks. Happy with that win i dont play for a week, after i bust early in a tourney i decided to fire up some slots again. I started with 30cents... lost... 60cents... lost...1,2$... lost, then i max out the wager (after all i have a 5 digit bankroll right?). 6 dollar per spin that takes 3 seconds. I m down 2000 dollars, then i hit the bonus freeplays in a game that is difficult to get that. I think this will turn it around... since i had 100-200x wins easily. I get TWO ****ING X.
After that i decided to quit. It took me 4 months to grind out 2k bucks in poker on the micro stakes and i just lost that amount in 1 night of tilting in a casino.

1 week later i fire up some slots again, i m up 2,5k, i was about to quit when i thought "if i hit another 200bucks i ll get a debauchery meal and go to the brothel", which is absurd since i have a 5 digit bankroll. But i wanted that little treat for myself. Needless to say i lost the 2,5k back to the casino.

Didnt play slots for 2 weeks, then i get a 200dollar comp form the casino. I end up being down 4k this day.
Now i have the feeling the gambling bug has bitten me (again?).

Sry for the wall of text, i simply had to write that down after i ve read all those degen stories and wanted to share my part.

Do you want to be man? You have to gamble. O my weak man stop gamble as it is good.

Why be pussy man? Be strong man . Gamble is good we like it so we do it

Only weak man stop what he like.

Good ****. Stay away from slots bro. Lost 45k on it one month alone. Have hit every bonus you can think of. Just stay away. House edge too much. Keep drinking ur german beer and playing micros.

I'm going to re-start this again soon. Don't ask me why or when. Probably because I want to brush up on my writing..or maybe I seek attention. Whatever it may be just a few things I wanted to clear up.

*It was really stupid to ever assume or say that no matter what, my parents would bail me out. To throw that amount of debt on them was unfair but as stupid as it may seem I always felt that I had no choice but to do that. It def kept me up at night knowing not only was I ruining my life but theirs as well. I admit I'm a moron for ever thinking that - and by the way these lovely people would probably sell their soul to bail me out.

You're probably wondering why I felt I had to do this and there's a few reasons:

1) The lender always made it seem like this would be the fallback plan. (confess to parents - get them to sell property - pay me off)

2) I'm a level 1 degen scumbag no denying it but whenever I have taken money I have given the person my word of repayment. I do believe in my word regardless of what you may think. The only way to repay the lender would've been this way and hence this was my solution.

3) Really just thought this was the only option...until...


So I think I last posted a year ago? You can imagine a lot has changed. Perhaps I should do an AMA but that would probably ruin this thread. I guess I'll write it out in detail soon. Helps take my mind off things plus I eventually want to write a book about my life so this would be a start.

I think from the moment I posted till about March of this year I was under heavy stress. I still am..I don't sleep much at all. But anyways most of my stress was making interest payments of about 60% on the loan every week. That was rough. Around December I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't earn anymore because MLB season was long done (I gave a few big bettors my mlb picks and they staked me 25% of their total bet. Will expand on this too) and I couldn't get anyone to spot me the $...I couldn't cover it because it was a ridiculous sum. I made about $80k in interest payments from June 2018 till December 2018. In December I physically could not. I remember being a week behind and the lender got grumpy and angry. I said just switch it to monthly..and it got weird. 2 weeks behind..got weirder..until the threats started. I started hearing stuff like I will be calling your parents..etc etc. He always acted as a friend and I believed it because I am stupid but once the obscene interest payments could not be made it was like being behind on a bookie.

I used to sit in my room w no action (I had 0 dollars) wondering how I'll pay interest or what I'll do. The good thing was that the action was so minimal that I wasn't running up 50k on my parents amex anymore (this is another story I will go into detail later). My monthly bills were like $1-2k a month and they were all min payments and very little credit card interest.

He would call and my heart would sink. I was scared. Mentally...physically..whatever I was just so scared of him. It kept getting worse..he wanted the payments so that he could cover his own gambling debts.

Until one fine day it occurred to me...there's no collateral behind the $. It's under my name not my parents. I'm worth $0. Come at me bro....


to be continued.


I'm going to bed now..and I'm still in a hole. I'm still not doing the greatest - but I go to bed every night knowing my lovely parents are never going to pay a dime for the problems I have caused. This is all on me. I'll sacrifice my life I deserve it. But the people around me I will bust my ass to make sure they are protected at all costs.


Oh P.S I still head over and read my epic run up posts from time to time. Man what a run up that was! I sure blew it. But for what it's worth..that was one of the craziest things ever. Really hope I can one day write a book or put out a movie. I want people to know my story..I'm just shy to ever go public with it so until then you guys are all I have.


Oh and ****..the ****ing amex is due on Thursday...some things just never change LOL.

Welcome back snipes.

I know for me personally when I decide to visit this thread my life is usually getting better. When I’m in the dregs I stay as far away from this place as I can for some reason. Hope it’s the same for you!

Interested in as many details as you can remember over the year and how it played out with the lender. Gl bud

Would defo read your book, your old posts were super sick.

I want to admit everything I have wrote about being a degen is FALSE

am really a CEO of a company I would prefer not to say due to ongoing litigation.

I mostly deal in stocks and shares and have a master's in the English language.

lol, okay.

Am at that stage of gambling were I know am terribly at it and that it affects my personal life.

I am scared of trying to stop as a honestly think I can't and never will. So I just gamble knowing I like it and am definitely in that percent of gambling addicted were I answer yes to everything on the list they have that ask does gambling take any from your personal life

Have you read the question ? Have you ever gamble more than u can afford, have you chased losses, has gambling ever affected your personal life. I think any one who gamble's will say yes to nearly all questions on it?

I don't drink or take any drugs whatsoever all I do for entertainment is gambling, so it can't be all that bad ? Can it?..

PS I lovvvvve gambling it is so awesome.

lol Snipes resurfacing.

Imagine if you just listened to my legit advice when you went on that mega run.

It wasn't just you. It was everyone. Here and in real life.

I need to write an update soon.

Last few months have been absolutely insane.

25k score on ACR casino
New job bc **** hit the fan at the old one
More droogs and gambol then ever in my life
Staying awake for 4 days straight then heading right to a work trip in CA early Monday morning(that’s right now) FML

I dunno what the f I’m doing anymore but I’ll def write something up soon bc it’s too degen and embarrassing not to share

I'm sure it'll be good - still married?

looking forward to it

Nah. I think people had it figured out pretty well.

For the time being.

Monday for the work event was fine but Tuesday was a nightmare of a day as I was coming down from all then adderall and gambool. I was running on pure adrenaline from the gambling bender as I went from down 4K to +750 when I binked a slot bonus on party poker NJ betting $6 a spin and won ~5k. Leaving the state was a godsend I clicked cash out before I left for the airport. Got home today and the ****ing cashout was still pending. My laptop had 7% battery so the only logical move was to cut my MacBook Air charger in half.

I just lost the 5K on my phone and I’m only a MacBook charger

lol the old party pending cashout trick. If youre cashing out more than your deposit they'll tie the money up for at least 5 business days hoping there is some kind of **** up.

good to hear that you know e is not your friend and you put it on your own head

good thinking let him do his worse the puppet will chat s hi t and all that bs

worst he can is kill you or beat up; pay what you can and know that fear of him will only help him and give him the power

he only has fear over you : take that away and you can rest more easy m8