$ wise? Probably. Good thing $ isn't everything.

This^ is part of what I was going to say in my last post as well.

How the **** is Ex_Pratt gonna blame one of the latest contributors to the degen thread for killing it? That's ****ing idiotic and either a poor level or inherent stupidity. Thanks for the update, Snipes.

Took my first trip to Mexico with my beautiful girlfriend of 4 years.

Right around the corner from our condo is a pharmacy. Viagra, steroids, painkillers with big "NO PRESCRIPTION NEEDED" on it. I went there, bought a bunch of percocet, viagra, and klonopins.

I live in Canada and bought 80,000 mexican pesos before we left, which was well over five grand. Figured it would last the entire 3 weeks and then some.

In a blacked out drinking/klonopin bender I managed to lose all the pesos, somehow get $700 USD out of my bank account, and lose every last cent at the casino. All I bought was a $300 USD bottle of tequila. Apparently I went into a benzo fueled rage. My girlfriend literally got her parents to buy her tickets back home 3 days into the trip.

It gets so much worse from here because I had already paid for everything I wasn't going to go home as well. I've been home for two weeks and my (guess ex) girlfriend hasn't said a word to me. All her stuff is out of the apartment, and she left the keys with my brother who lives down the street. I'm legitimately depressed, I brought a ring to propose. I was very close to her parents, and honestly I would have dumped me too. They filled me in on the **** I pulled.

I'll type it all up later when I have time but it got bad..

^ +1
dying
love
it
pls
continue

At least you have a ring to sell bro ! !
Seriously though that's some ****ed up trip, would love to hear the rest.

I'm going to drink a lot and do drugs at the same time, what can go wrong?

I hope that me sharing in some detail whats gone on in my life for the past year or so will inspire more to share their stories regardless of how painful it may be to relive and type up. Addiction is a disease and if you're posting your stories in this thread you're most likely an addict as well.

For those that don't know me I've shared a bunch of degenerous tales a few years ago in this thread. Some are more truthful than others but I was writing them with the goal of some entertainment value as well. I wont even call them stories because I still glamorized the lifestyle and had visions of hitting it big.

Flash forward... I am now 32 years old and 14 years into a completely degen lifestyle when it comes to gambling and substance abuse. I was never hooked on any drugs but if I was going to go on a gambling binge I HAD to have adderal and if I couldn't find that I would make do with cocaine. I have never been a winner. Not a single year have i posted a year of profit. All in all lifetime, I am down somewhere in the 500K range. I was a decent poker player for a long time but most likely breakeven at best in the 2019 online fields. Good news is I do very well off in software sales, have a great wife who I have been with since I'm 16, and have a solid income flow and skill set to maintain it. OK enough boring background but that was for me to give you some perspective on how quickly it can do from bad to worse.

March 2018: I was offered a much higher paying job in Silicon Valley that would allow me to travel there once a month from NJ and then work from home the rest of the time. For someone who made hour + long drives in NJ to get to their office each and every day more money and no commute sounded perfect. I was maybe a few months clean of gambling when I started this job and in a great mindset. Trips to San Fransisco, working in my PJ's and getting paid 150K+ plus. Life was great.... until it wasnt.

I had mentioned during my interviews I was familiar with phython, java, and some UI type based coding apps. My boss didnt grill me on these during the interview and he seemed ok with my elementary knowledge on this skill set for the job. Couple months into the job when I am getting ready to spin up my first custom install of our software and I ask my boss whose going to code? His initial reaction was just to laugh at me. I told him I will get it done with 0 idea how. I ended up hiring a consultant buddy of mine to do most of the work and it wasn't cheap. I did this a few times before I ended up realizing FAK, I'm going to actually have to learn this I want to keep this job. It has been since college since I really had to take on a completely foreign complex skil.l

So here I am, working from home... a fresh adderall script for the doctors as he know about my previous 'ADD' and nothing but time alone in my house. I did learn how to code at an elementary level and enough to get the job done. What I couldn't shake was the consistent reminder of how much I loved firing up 6-8 tables of MTT poker while all zoomed out. I wish i can pinpoint were I finally gave in and started playing on ACR again.

This is where I begin to summarize the time since I've began gambling, from home, with adderall and little supervision. My binges tend to happen every 1-2 weeks and go from Friday-Sunday with no sleep and just gamble. I don't think I've lost any less than 500 in a session with my worst being 4.7k. It may not sound like alot but its every couple weeks and has gone on for a year now. I'm living on pure credit when I should have no worries based on my income and style of life I want to live. This is the part of the story where I used to write out all my bad beats... the onc I will share is I ran it up from $100 to 13.3k on ACR casino and punted it off in 15 mins bc I wanted 15k and quickly started losing. I'll stop at 12k, ok fire a little more stop at 10k... I started with a $100 5k is fine. RIP.

I did the math yesterday. I am down 47k in 2019 alone. I know the solution, kick the addy and it will kick the gambol bender but its actually much harder for me then it should be with my work duties right now. I have no idea know how much the wife will stay loyal, she's already seeing a therapist on her own for all the misery I have caused her. I've been so ready to stop for years and manage a few months at a time but always slip up. Smoking I quit cold turkey on a Tuesday after 10 years of a pack a day... willpower is great but I dont think its going to get me through this.

Feel free to ask questions of ya want but this is all I can muster up right now. For anyone else out there fighting this fight. GLGL

POCKET ROCKETS OOO

Much like the story above about buying drugs in Mexico and Pockets story here, the only people I feel sorry for are the women who are with you guys. The one earlier was smart enough to run for the hills, that would be my advice to Pocket's wife as well. By gambling away all your funds you are essentially saying what I want is way more important then my wife. So spare them the heartache and if you are going to be a degen, at least do it alone and don't bring down people you supposedly love.

Sorry this is the degen thread, rock it out

You are obviously a smart guy if you were able to learn a hard skill like programming on the fly. It is also good that you recognize you have a problem instead of sinking into self denial like many degens do. You still have a great job and family. Act now before its too late and you lose everything. Why don't you self ban your online poker accounts?

You make it sound like women are unable to make their own decisions. Everyone has their flaws and each person can make their own decision as to how much they want to withstand/what they want to do with their life. I don't think your post was refuting this, but it came across as if they lack the ability (much like a degen) to walk away themselves.

As you say though, definitely not the thread for this.

OneMoreRun is entitled to an opinion and the purpose of threads is to get input and provoke debate, not to silence everyone who is not a fanboy of the degens. '...you go pockets! Ruin yourself and your family! gogogo! we love it! give us more!...'

There will always be people that choose getting high and donking off their family's money over doing the right by the people that (used to) love them.

This is why the drunk tanks, the tunnels and prisons will never be empty.

Good points here, it sounds to me though like they are hiding most of this from the wife. The girl in the Mexico story ran at the first sign of this guy freaking out at the first chance to get drugs that easily and losing his mind. Sounds like pockets is hiding most of it. If i wanna get in major debt with gambling i could do so for months before any female in my life would notice I would think.

Back when I was once a degen:

Towards end of high school, anybody in the school (3K+), my group of friends consisted of anybody who played poker for more than a $100 buyin. We gradually upgraded to going to the local casino (because they didn't card us) starting at age 16. By senior year, we'd leave school during lunch and ditch our afternoon class since it was easy AF. Where would we go? Poker? No - there is no juicy game at 1 PM. Blackjack.

We counted cards for practice for dozens of hours. We were all pretty good in math, so counting cards was extremely simple. Eventually, we could all count through decks with lightning speed, first using a simple +1/0/-1 method, then a more advanced +2/+1/0/-1/-2, with a side count for aces.

Anyway, we learn that variance is a ***** in BJ pretty quickly, and often tilt it off when we get a cold deck. Sometimes, though, we run that **** up real quick from $500 to $2.5K or whatnot. One of my friends eventually upgraded to the high limit room, $100 min bets per hand, and bought a $30K camaro with all his BJ winnings. Literally spent his entire roll on the car. Everybody in high school, and even his parents, thought he was some large scale drug dealer or something. Nope, just a degen.

Eventually it rolls around to my 18th birthday. To be more specific, the night before. I take out $3K from my bank account, and at 11:30PM drive my $hitty $1200 car to the casino, get to the BJ tables around 12:01 AM. Lay down $3K in $20s on the table and proceed to play for a few hours.

Down to $2.5K, down to $2K, down to $1.5K...Up to $2K...Up to $3K...Up to $3.5K...Down to $2K...Down to $1.5K...Down to $1K..Down to my last $500. F*** it, go all in, I'm tired of betting $25-$100/hand.

Dealer deals me a 6...then a 5. F*** I don't have any money to double. Dealer is showing an ace. Jesus christ, don't do it. Dealer checks the card underneath. Looks down. Looks at me, with a "sorry" look on her face. Looks down at the card. Slowly turns it over. It's a ***** ten. Fk man. Drive home, just turning 18.

Next morning, my parents ask me how my night was.
"Awesome, mom!" Who is willing to tell their parents that they dusted off $3K playing blackjack within hours of turning 18? Not me...

I have more stories, but that's one I won't forget.

ouch. Maybe it's good to learn your lesson young, and at least drugs/alcohol weren't involved.

Yeah and I agree with that. If your actively taking steps to cover up what your doing then that should be a sign.


Lol and there will always be people who choose to hang out in a thread that they know just works them up. Wish I had that much free time to waste.

Carrying on, the guy who went to Mexico with his girlfriend of 4 years.

My girlfriend and I party occasionally, and do drugs every now and again. It's never a lot. We may split a gram of blow if we're going to a concert. Or maybe do a couple caps of e every few months. That's the full extent of it though. I've never ****ed with benzos, let alone drinking on them, and **** me.

So carrying on, I blew 80,000 pesos, and another $700 USD from my bank that I got raped in charges for. I don't know why I chose to buy benzos, but it's easily the worst mistake of my life so far. She said I was walking around staggering, sloshing my words, treating everyone and everything around me like ****. I was just looking for fights, being loud and aggressive to everyone, including her.

Three days forward... I wake up to my girlfriend crying her eyes out. I am wondering what's wrong, and she is shaking she's crying so hard. I keep wondering, and she kept asking why I would bring her on this vacation, she thought we were perfect, etc. I literally don't even remember going to the casino, let alone three days passing.

The second day, she said I disappeared around 3 pm, and didn't come back until around 11 pm. Where was I? God if I know. I told her I had to make some important phone calls and they were private. Back to the third day is when I actually come to, at night. She is crying so hard she's shaking. Apparently we went to a margarita bar that night and I was openly hitting on some woman beside me, messaging women inappropriate **** on my snapchat, all in front of my girlfriend.

Here's a little aside-- I've "cheated" once in my life. In my first relationship at 17, I kissed another girl. And I fessed up right away. Since then in every relationship I have been fiercely loyal. I purposely don't get myself into situations where I would even have the chance to cheat.

She said that was it, she was done. She needed to go home to her parents and think. I'm laying there naked on the couch where I woke up, I stand up, and I heave out what feels like 10 gallons of puke. I rented a really nice condo there, and apparently the night before the manager came and talked to me about some kind of scene I caused on the rooftop infinity pool. What did I do up there? **** if I know, my girlfriend wasn't with me, she was in the room crying her eyes out because of my actions.

I was drowsy and in a daze, I thought I was dreaming. This wasn't real, this was our dream vacation. I was going to propose. I fall back into a mini coma. I wake up and she is gone, and so is all of her things. I'm finally coming to the realization of how bad I ****ed up. At that point I was drinking the hardest I ever have in my life. I couldn't enjoy the vacation anymore, I called my bank and withdrew around $4,000 canadian, all in pesos. I went to the casino and lost it all in about 15 minutes. I met a group of people there who were going to some club and they invited me.

I'm walking with the group and there's this guy standing by an alley who's like 5 feet tall, and he goes do you need weed? I said no, he asked if I needed cocaine or heroin, I said no I don't do any of that ****. He said "then **** off, you pussy."

I've just been raging drunk, I'm 6'2 looking down at this kid and I was like what the **** did you just say ready to square up. A guy in the group starts yelling in spanish and grabs my arm. Two minutes later he was like don't you think there's a reason that guy wasn't scared of you or any of us? You're a long way from home buddy, you don't know how lucky you are you didn't get beaten at a minimum for squaring up like that.

Anyways I found out most of this from her parents. She said I was sloshing my words in a way she's never heard, and I was just scary. Like she could tell I was on autopilot, but also angry. She said at one point she was afraid I was going to hit her. I didn't, but she was afraid. She hasn't spoken a word to me since.

Benzos. What the ****. Why did I buy them. I just thought it was crazy you could buy all this **** over the counter there like that. I'd give up my whole net worth for a time machine, **** me.

Let me tell ya boys, if there was ever "the one," she was the one. In four years we've had maybe one actual "fight." Other than that it's been all smooth sailing and I felt myself falling more and more in love with her. I wanted it to be a nice three week getaway where I propose, and then set up the best honeymoon you can imagine. The first year of our relationship I was kind of struggling financially. I did some dumb **** and was cash poor. We slept on a mattress on the floor for like a year, **** like that. The last two years I've lucked my way into doing really well and thought I stopped my degen tendencies.

I've never felt so low in my life, I actually reached out to a friend and checked myself into a hospital. Sorry for such a depressing ending, but that's how it is. I could write up a lot more but it's just too sad to me.

go get her back. you said in your other post this was 2 weeks ago, maybe wait another week or 2 to give her time to cool off

thanks for sharing your story. definitely keep posting more.

I am similar to you only on a smaller scale but probably similar in terms of % of net worth gambled. Couple years ago I lost 80% of my net worth and only just now recovering from that. One thing that has helped me is keeping $ far away from me as possible, max out 401k, IRA, HSA, all of that ****. basically put your $ in anything non-liquid. If you own a house make some extra mortgage payments on that. Now when I go on a binge its only with a couple thousand on a credit card and i just pay it off the next month, instead of losing 15-20k at a time or even more.

Keep this thread alive folks my degen fellows

Awesome mom lol more please

Rereading this whole thread and came across this one.

Powerful

Wow, that was surreal to read.

That entire year was such a blur for me.

Last month was the 7 year anniversary of his death, I still think about him every day. Surprisingly, I can honestly say that I live a much more actualized life now. His death has taught me how to live-- it's a daily sobering reminder of what's really important, with a healthy dose of "don't take this all so seriously." My family is closer than ever.

Work is great, I'm madly in love, and we just moved into a fantastic new place at the beginning of the year. I play a bit of online now and then when I'm feeling the itch, actually just binked a couple wins recently. Life is such a crazy experience, and I'm trying to enjoy every beautiful minute of it.

Anyway, I guess I'm saying thanks for bumping. It stirs a quiet sense of clarity to look back at such a somber time and see how I've learned from it. Stay cool, fellow degens.

You are very welcome and I lost my brother a year ago to an accident as well. I am currently going through some of the things you described in your post and was glad I happened to stumble upon it.

Glad to hear things are going well for you, when something like that happens you don't realize how much it effects every single part of your life. Now when someone asks me how I am doing I automatically think about my brother.

Makes me so happy to hear you are doing well.

what & one, well written. When I was, 15 I lost my brother (17). Different families handle thing differently - we didn't talk about it much (this was a mistake, but thing were different 60 years ago). He died in a car accident.
About 20 years ago i went to see a shrink about various other things, and he said "your life basically ended when your brother died". That was a horrible thing to say, but it wasn't true. I still miss my brother, but after all of these years the memories are only pleasant. and the pain is gone. I hope things work out for you - remember the good time and be thankful for the time you had together.
Sorry for the derail, but I needed to write this...

I left cage open on my daughter s hamster cage by mistake after cleaning it the night before . She woke up first to find the cat eating it. She upset so we're getting ready to go and get to birds maybe love birds? I gambled my hamsters live and it was 00 . Gg hami e we miss u rip.