brag: fat girlfriend made me chicken nuggets while i was grinding - Page 3

a girl who respects a poker player and all he stands for and will not complain when ive got grind on the mind or when I want to get frisky and scan a credit card between her ass cheeks.

What more could a man want?

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07-03-2009 , 11:25 PM

#53

SkeetyMcdoogle

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 6,201

this stuff is seriously great

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07-03-2009 , 11:34 PM

#54

MrTaylorSwift

grinder

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 529

I LOL'd at least 3 times every other line.
[X] OP is a boss.

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07-04-2009 , 12:19 AM

#55

Lyle

centurion

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 183

5/5

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07-04-2009 , 12:36 AM

#56

Mikess2001

banned

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,053

Classic.

WP Sir.

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07-04-2009 , 12:49 AM

#57

sk_limx

grinder

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 635

submarines lol

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07-04-2009 , 12:56 AM

#58

DRybes

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,039

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vandergata

big girls need love too.

They can go get it from Big Boi and Andre-***king-3000.

5 stars Niche although I'm used to more occuring in your stories

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07-04-2009 , 01:15 AM

#59

raze

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,540

too good

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07-04-2009 , 01:57 AM

#60

Dilznoofus

veteran

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,379

Another 5 stars.

The dad part was kinda sad.

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07-04-2009 , 01:57 AM

#61

Antoniobandito

centurion

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 105

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Niche

I was grinding these soul destroying 90 mans on FT and she said she was going to cook us dinner because she was feeling geneorous. what kinda **** is that. she puts chip on my lap and i let his little hand do all the clicking especially all-in shoves and I talk a little bit of strategy with him mainly the value of position and slow playing big pairs at the end of mtts

she made me 8 nuggets. and she had 27 nuggets. she was burning her fingers on the hot fat while they were still cooking trying to get one to grub on. i am so sick of how selfish she is. we went to an all you can eat buffet once and she ate so much she was farting all the way home in the car and I think she almost sharted. she also laughs at me because she can out eat me at any meal time. I tried to beat her once and ate 23 pootatos but I almost threw up

i am sitting there trying to rambo a cash game with 16 dollars PLO and final table a 90 man on a stake because we need $ and she just complains that we are broke every day and she wishes she had met a better man. I was like why dont you go spread your thunder thighs for tod brunson i bet he hasnt had any in awhile. she doesnt even know who tod is. she googled him and said hubba hubba. im like whatever bitch you would crush eachother.

she sends me on negreanutilt everyday. she said she eats so much food because she needs to keep her strength up to look after little chip because she is basically a single mom now because I am married to poker for life and basially a loser i said no bitch you need to stop eating food from a wheelbarrow but yes poker is more interesting than you.. your voice chills me to the bone and you are as boring as beans. go make your nightly phonecall to skank#1 and gossip about everyones affairs. I said she wouldnt last 2 minutes in the poker world.I bet phil hellmuth doesnt get this kinda **** when he gets home from the big game... I bet he gets pancakes a bathrobe and a hand-jive.

my EV always goes down when she starts nagging me which is constant pressure...even when she is being nice or trys to do something special for us i have to fake delight.she once made a recording of herself moaning for my birthday.. it was horrible. imagine an ogre scratching his bumhole and you will come close to understanding how it made me feel. she expected sex that night but i had to fake an injury. she wore some stockings that made her legs look like submarines .

one day when chip is older and he knows how to play poker..maybe when he is 6 or 7 i am going to take him and head back to vegas with me because that is where my heart is. my dads heart is in nevada and i feel him touch me everytime i go back there. everytime i enter a card room i am thinking about my dad. Sometimes I walk over to the game and the seat he used to always be at and rub the back of his chair. sometimes I go and expect him to be there. i look for him...i hope to hear his voice above the slot machines calling me telling me to hurry the hell up because there is a sucker playing 5/10.

hopefully i can meet a new woman in vegas but not a hooker or crack head this time..someone steady and who only does casual drugs and maybe vodka binges..a girl who respects a poker player and all he stands for and will not complain when ive got grind on the mind or when I want to get frisky and scan a credit card between her ass cheeks.

Bro, I have read and understood personally, that poker players are basically disfunctional. Its true. My wife is a class A bitch. I chose a broken one, and so did you. Some of us are broken too. Me included. Have a heart, and just find one less broken, and maybe less dependent on food. Or, pay for it. If you know what I mean. In the long run, its cheaper. Im guessing.

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07-04-2009 , 02:03 AM

#62

Antoniobandito

centurion

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 105

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antoniobandito

And, remember that not all responses are cool, especially when drunk. My apologies.

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07-04-2009 , 02:23 AM

#63

grimripper21

old hand

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,482

phil helmuth wears a robe gets pancakes and a hand jive?? this man is a ****ing literary genius, A+ niche

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07-04-2009 , 02:30 AM

#64

LoveMinus0NL

enthusiast

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 97

Funny stuff in here, Niche.

"one day when chip is older and he knows how to play poker..maybe when he is 6 or 7 i am going to take him and head back to vegas"

LOL.

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07-04-2009 , 02:30 AM

#65

Jman2272

centurion

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 148

A+

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07-04-2009 , 02:37 AM

#66

Velutha

adept

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,044

so glad i wandered in here; phenomenal work!

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07-04-2009 , 03:19 AM

#67

Captain Crank

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 33

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07-04-2009 , 03:28 AM

#68

max_em87

grinder

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 592

I already read this thread earlier today but I just had to come back and read it again cause it was so good, also lol @ the last post

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07-04-2009 , 04:30 AM

#69

PrimogenitoX

banned

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,859

OP if ever in Vegas hit me, I will buy you a whoar

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07-04-2009 , 04:37 AM

#70

gambolian

grinder

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 662

pic of baby trex?

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07-04-2009 , 05:19 AM

#71

MattR

adept

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 974

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Crank

A+! Awesome.

[x] Chip will own high stakes online at 7

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07-04-2009 , 05:29 AM

#72

Alexd10

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 150

5 stars

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07-04-2009 , 05:49 AM

#73

laughing gravy

journeyman

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 399

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Niche

she once made a recording of herself moaning for my birthday.. it was horrible. imagine an ogre scratching his bumhole and you will come close to understanding how it made me feel. she expected sex that night but i had to fake an injury. she wore some stockings that made her legs look like submarines

I laughed so hard at that bit.