I was playing 25/50 nlhe today in mu local casino, I had good hands in the session and won nearly $10k

I downsided to 5/10/20 table and lost $5k, playing loosely and made stupid bluffs. There was a game, people called me with A high and won the $1.5k pot. People sense I was a bit tilting and I left the table.

I thought I take the $5k winning and would be happy to go home

However, I decided to watch people playing blackjack and thought I just play $100 a hand, sent a limit of 1k. However, I lost the lot and eventually lose $4k

Now, at this point, I had 1k remaining, I went to see people play machine, I saw jackpot of $20k, I was playing, winning losing and gradually lose the $1k... I never play machine anyway and not really interested but I don't know why I did it

I feel so bad and stupid

I know it sucks, but what can you do? Gotta lose that money.

I know it sucks, but what can you do? Gotta lose that money.

So, you finished the day even.

You had 1k remaining plus the money you came with. Why didn't you lose that money also? You gotta.

No-one likes a quitter, OP. Go straight back and stick it all on red.

Walking out even? Sick brag, OP! Surely this isn't a beat post about leaving breakeven. We call that a win in my personal record book - especially related to any gambling aside from poker.

You see that first 10k was what they call a "balloon" as in luck, and you being a sucker thought you won it.

I just lose $1900 on online poker. now, no money left for the rest of the month. every month, all the money I earn lose in gambling.

everyone buys lottery $2. I buy 500 tickets, $1000. Every time, people waiting at the counter, thinking who is this idiot. the cashier at the counter at one time, had to call the manager and they refused to sell me the lottery, said the maximum I can buy is $100 or 50 tickets. When I got multiple smallwinning tickets, say 50 tickets from the 500 tickets, peolle always waiting in the queue for like 20 mins. the cashier will scan each ticket and I am embarrassed

I know I have a gambling issues for the last 30 years....

renting a room in a shared flat. no saving and maxed credit cards. I am feeling suicidal sometimes and crying in my room. I am sick in the head

Get some help.

Yeah. Jokes aside, get some help.

Reach out to non-gambling friends and family and tell them what happened and how you're feeling. It'll be a big weight of your mind and a good first step.

Also, check out https://gamblersanonymous.org/

GL

I think the hierarchy of degens goes as following:
Pit games > Slots > lottery rickets.

Mr Crowns' post above is a great one and is advice not to be ignored and I would like to ask the OP if you have any other hobbies, Golf, Tennis, Squash, Computer games(playstation/X-box etc, or any other activity you can focus your energy on other than cards? These all cost money too but at least with the first ones they have benefits in terms of physical and mental well-being.

Wish you the very best and GL.