The Best Day of My Life
08-15-2014
, 09:20 AM
It was the day. The day that I had always dreamed of. The day of pure run good. One does not simply experience this more than once in a life. On this day I could have sex with Salena Gomez and Miley Cyris. At the same time.
But, I had more important matters to attend to. I picked up the phone and jingled my local card room. A man with a graspy voice answered "Thank you for calling Fudruckers, this is Jimmy. How can I tell you to eat a big one today?" I said "Yo, Jimmy this is Papa Smurf Dawg. Git me up on the list for the nosebleezies." He answered "Smurfy! Whattup? I just put u to the top of the list son. U got 6 behind u. The high stakes game is running and I have your seat reserved." I smile and say "That's my man! I'll be down in that bitch in a minute. Is Toots Magoots playing?". "Yep he's in seat 1 with a big stack."
I snap hung up the phone and got out of bed. This guy is a huge whale. He is the donator of donator's. I once asked him for a tax writeoff on a pot he gifted me. I have to get to this game asap. I didn't bother taking a shower or shaving. I did, however, grab some toothpaste and brushed with my finger. I may have been fingering my girlfriends ass the night before but I couldn't remember until I had finished brushing. I immediately threw up. Didn't bother cleaning because I must get in the game.
I ran outside to catch the bus. As I feared it was already moving away from my stop. I sprinted after it with determination. I chased it for a good 100 feet before running out of energy. I was crushed. I thought today was the day. Then all of a sudden I notice the bus stopped. I hobbled my tired ass up to the bus door and looked in. The driver said "It's your lucky day boy. I saw you trying to chase this bus and felt pity on how out of shape you are. I'll give you a ride to the nearest gym". I cried and went to the back of the bus.
On my way to making millions of dollars, I thought to myself. Trying to cheer myself up. I look over at the girl next to me and she's a complete babe. Then I realized she looked like Hermione. I said "Hermione"? Her face went very red and then she said "It's Emma Watson, you ****ing tard! Get away from me you disgusting waste of a human existence!" I cried again and got off at my stop.
End of Part one to avoid tl;dr.
Edit: Nvm already TL;DR.
T.S.
But, I had more important matters to attend to. I picked up the phone and jingled my local card room. A man with a graspy voice answered "Thank you for calling Fudruckers, this is Jimmy. How can I tell you to eat a big one today?" I said "Yo, Jimmy this is Papa Smurf Dawg. Git me up on the list for the nosebleezies." He answered "Smurfy! Whattup? I just put u to the top of the list son. U got 6 behind u. The high stakes game is running and I have your seat reserved." I smile and say "That's my man! I'll be down in that bitch in a minute. Is Toots Magoots playing?". "Yep he's in seat 1 with a big stack."
I snap hung up the phone and got out of bed. This guy is a huge whale. He is the donator of donator's. I once asked him for a tax writeoff on a pot he gifted me. I have to get to this game asap. I didn't bother taking a shower or shaving. I did, however, grab some toothpaste and brushed with my finger. I may have been fingering my girlfriends ass the night before but I couldn't remember until I had finished brushing. I immediately threw up. Didn't bother cleaning because I must get in the game.
I ran outside to catch the bus. As I feared it was already moving away from my stop. I sprinted after it with determination. I chased it for a good 100 feet before running out of energy. I was crushed. I thought today was the day. Then all of a sudden I notice the bus stopped. I hobbled my tired ass up to the bus door and looked in. The driver said "It's your lucky day boy. I saw you trying to chase this bus and felt pity on how out of shape you are. I'll give you a ride to the nearest gym". I cried and went to the back of the bus.
On my way to making millions of dollars, I thought to myself. Trying to cheer myself up. I look over at the girl next to me and she's a complete babe. Then I realized she looked like Hermione. I said "Hermione"? Her face went very red and then she said "It's Emma Watson, you ****ing tard! Get away from me you disgusting waste of a human existence!" I cried again and got off at my stop.
End of Part one to avoid tl;dr.
Edit: Nvm already TL;DR.
T.S.
Last edited by Fidstar_Joker; 08-15-2014 at 09:27 AM.
Reason: p.s. Hi fid. :)
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