It was a rainy day back in 2017. I just woke up after sleeping off the good old 12-hour grind like party animals sleep of Ibiza, but on private jets. I, too, wanted a private jet, but I realized I am a fish and that the rake spent on my ex needed some fresh meat instead.
So I sat down and wrote a letter.
Dear PokerStars... There's no easy way to say this!?
I'm breaking up with you
Was it the frustration of pouring money into the relationship and not seeing a return on investment?
On the contrary, I've had so much fun with you over the years. Money was never an issue and never will be.
80k+ American Dollars is just a figure, after all. Sprinkled between years of fun - it's hardly a drop in the ocean.
You wouldn't notice either. It was like, we went to a restaurant - and you always contributed somehow. You kept giving back to me. It was a mutual thing. I spent the most, and you gave where you could.
That was a quality I enjoyed. I liked it a lot. I could spend 2k a week, and there you were with yours. "Hey, I don't have much to offer - but here are 100 dollars." It was ****ing fantastic, I tell you.
What I don't like - and ultimately led me to the decision to break up with you, was an attribute of yours that grew from something barely noticeable - to something very distinct over the years.
It was you and me. The thing; we called the "VIP Game" gave us something to aim for together. If I did good in your eyes, you'd let me in your club and give me these incredible titles. I think "Supernova" was one of them. I thought that title kicked balls. You knew how much I enjoyed that one.
All of a sudden, you said, "I am so done playing that game".
Ok! Cool, I guess!? We can still have fun... Right? So I stuck around.
"I wanna play with magic chests and fairies."
Whatever you say, honey - let's play the magic game! I'm down. Let's go hunt those damn fine treasure chests down, and celebrate when we strike gold together! TOGETHER! Right?
I've probably invested around 100.000 in terms of rake to help you grow, achieve your goals and expectations. Not once did I withdraw money from our account to spend on myself and I. It was all about you, baby.
It worked. I am proud of where you are today and what you have become. However, that change comes with a price, albeit I do understand why things are.
On that note, I am sure that you understand my choice of ending our journey here.
You probably don't want to hear from me again - and I am not even sure you care, but I want you to know that I've already found something to numb the pain. It's called Partypoker.
It's the type of site that stopped playing with chests, fairies, and **** and quite bluntly said, "Let's do bonuses and Rakeback." It's new to me. A bit scary, but I think I'll manage.
See you around, Pokerstars. Maybe.
Then 2018 came, and I was having a great time with the newly found love on PartyPoker. It was a mutual thing. Untill that ***** two-faced me and said "I want to do things the right way. You are in a third-world country with no license, where gambling isn't regulated, and my father thinks that I shouldn't hang around unregulated... markets. Kek.
- I broke up with PokerStars. I sent them this letter.
- PartyPoker gave me Ben&Jerry's. We dated for like two years.
- It ended
- I crawled back to PokerStars only to discover that they've upped their glitter-game on their chests.
PS: Rewards are better then they were before break-up, but it's a bittersweet situation.