Pretty much nailed the summary.

Richard got arrested for his antics, but he is getting out soon, unfortunately.

Yeah, weed makes you real mad a lot. That **** is hcore

What can you do? Gotta die in that grease fire OP

Part 2 for those too lazy to look it up, from the thread " 9 bet bluffed at 2NL"

After losing 370k, I went back to the drawing board. I couldn't feel sorry for myself, because I needed to get back to the grind so that I could acquire sufficient funds to hire a hit man to dispatch my erstwhile girlfriend and gardener. I also reported my Porsche stolen and was waiting for the insurance to come through so I could get back in action.

I settle into my grinding mode by shutting out all external sunlight and all other reminders that there is an outside world. I am griped with an exhilaration and new sense of purpose, consequently I enthusiastically fire up the poker client. I ingest some adderall, xanax, nyquil and I balance my pill range by imbibing some antifreeze. I've got grind on the mind and fire up 4 tables of 2NL.

I know what you're thinking, but I need to start small after the big loss and need the insurance to come through. The competition is tougher than last week, but I am holding my own; I was at least, until this hand.

I was dealt KK on the button and I immediately feel the excitement of a double up build inside me. I min raise the button, hoping to trap this squidball and win all the monies so that I can buy my sister some ice cream to get the fat bitch to go away. Squidball thinks he can bully me by 3 betting; I'll show this mother****er what happens when you 3bet the Hax Man. I min 4bet and get snap min 5bet. I think am not that worried as I think he is levelling and will fold most of his bluffs to a min 6 bet, so that's what I do. He min 7 bets and now I have his range at 55+ and A9+. He can only continue with AA if I 8 bet him. I tank tehn 8 bet, and the ****er snap 9 bet shoves. WTFFFFF? I tank like a pro and use my timebank to assign him a hand, and conclude he must have AA, so I show the pro laydown. The squidball shows me A ****ing K and I goes ape****.

I grab a hammer and start smashing the furniture up and I sart demolishing the walls. I am screaming at the top of my lungs, how can this ****ing idiot think he's good? I look at the chat and he typed: "lol." I take a running jump and go super sayian on the computer with the hammer and obliterate it into a thousand fragments. My sister waddles to my room in a panic and says wtf is going on?! I grab my mouse and launch it at her and tell her to **** off. I tell her it's her fault my mansion is being repossessed by the bailiffs because she eats she so ****ing much. The whiny bitch starts crying and said I wouldn't talk to her like that if Richard didn't get arrested. I look her right in the fat flaps and tell her that Richard is a *********** piece of **** and I will beat the **** out of him any time. She says he is being bailed in two days, and she will tell him what I said. I said bring it on.

I am left surveying the scene or carnage that I have just created, and I realise that my grind opportunities are rather limited because my laptop is no longer functioning. I have no money left thanks to my girlfriend and greaseball gardener, Hector. It then occurred to me that I had to report a robbery in my house. I told my sister what I was planning and told her that I would buy her a takeaway if she cooperated, and her fat face light up as agreed enthusiastically.

The police show up and start asking all sorts of awkward questions such as, "what did the assailant look like?" and "What colour was his skin" I told them that a gypo, wearing shawls and psychic beads broke into my home after I refused to buy his scam bull**** items. They asked what did the gypo sound like? I told them it sounded like a mix between Morgan Freeman and Antonio Esfandiari. They asked who the **** is Antonio Esfandiari, and I had to explain poker to them. They hurried out of my house and said they would be in touch.

All is well at the moment, except I'm ****ting myself because that crazy bastard, Richard is getting out on bail soon, and will try to kill me.

You are trying to be heyn8 or modus. You are not heyn8 or modus.

Why the **** isn't the new mod doing something about this thread?

Trying too hard OP, boring as diarrhea at midnight..

That's boring?

File this one under 'easily amused' please, and restrict access to 'the office'...

P.S. 'Civilization is crumbling'....

Nah, super exciting..

+1

I pick up AA and feel a bit of precum escape from my whopper.


lmao

could be good, isnt

this.

This?

I feel like you just stole 5 minutes of my life that I'm never getting back. + you are such a sicko that you made me waste more time replying

LOL

this

Play money fool

Ban OP.

Already banned

what an incredibly ridiculous bump.TWSS

Who ever is calling this fake lol just watch a season of 48 hrs and this would seem normal lol usa and stupid people = free guns= lol

My god just watched murder suicide and he try kill him self but failed and had jump of a balcony to get job do

This was funny same as king niche but admits it is just a story

Any one real think king niche is for realz will most likely be on a 48rs show soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So are you!!!!!!! MAybe all baned but dont now it?????