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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 04-15-2015, 07:28 AM   #1
I g0tz haxed
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Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Today is a sad, sad day as I sit here in the ruins of the grind station. Approximately 9 months ago on that fateful day when I 3 barrelled the minister when I said 'I do', my fate was sealed. Things were great as I had managed to hide my occupation from her. 3 months into the marriage she discovered that I was not looking for a job as hard as I led her to believe; this jacked up the variance in the marriage for a week and I had to work hard on balancing my job seeking range with enough bull**** excuses as to why I couldn't take any job I was offered.

After another few weeks, the game was up. I got drunk one gloomy Friday morning and told my wife to **** herself and that I was playing poker. Before she could object I pulled out my small blind and stuffed it into her huge mouth which silenced her incessant criticism. That put the ***** into her place.

Unfortunately, I lost my roll taking shots at 1k NL having busted out of the big 11 to k4o and had to tell the skank about it. Having heard this news, she destroyed the grind station and now says she wants some time apart. Talk about running badly.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:57 AM   #2
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

The wife was bringing bad luck. Now that you got rid of it, buy a better grind station and get back to 1knl. Poker is 50/50 anyway so you should be able to get your losses back in no time.
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:12 AM   #3
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Quote:
Originally Posted by I g0tz haxed View Post
Today is a sad, sad day as I sit here in the ruins of the grind station. Approximately 9 months ago on that fateful day when I 3 barrelled the minister when I said 'I do', my fate was sealed.
Does that mean you were triple barrel bluffing when you said "I do"?
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:21 AM   #4
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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Does that mean you were triple barrel bluffing when you said "I do"?
I put it into my semi-bluff range and then fired the river when the board paired.
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:27 AM   #5
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Lol wifeaments
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:49 AM   #6
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Gotta lose that aliments
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:30 AM   #7
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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Originally Posted by I g0tz haxed View Post
I put it into my semi-bluff range and then fired the river when the board paired.
No wonder you lost your roll. Triple barrel bluffing the river when the board pairs is lighting money on fire. No one folds when the board pairs unless they have a missed draw.
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Old 04-15-2015, 01:37 PM   #8
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Is this 2009?
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Old 04-15-2015, 02:05 PM   #9
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

only mouthbreathing borderline <removed> get married in 2015 LOL

Last edited by fidstar-poker; 04-15-2015 at 10:01 PM. Reason: edited
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Old 04-15-2015, 02:22 PM   #10
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

I don't think she hates poker, just you. She deserves better.
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Old 04-15-2015, 04:55 PM   #11
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Sounds like wives are high variance and possibly EV- plays.
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Old 04-15-2015, 05:20 PM   #12
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

What was your wife doing outside of the kitchen?
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Old 04-15-2015, 05:48 PM   #13
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Why is there a clock on the kitchen stove?

Spoiler:
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Old 04-15-2015, 06:47 PM   #14
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

little confused here, so you married a straightflush? what casino was this at
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:21 PM   #15
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

pics of wife. should matter in decision making.
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Old 04-16-2015, 08:43 AM   #16
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

She just phoned me and said she's willing to come back if I start at 2NL and use the responsible gaming feature to restrict my limits. **** that ****, but she makes my parents happy. What should I do?
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Old 04-16-2015, 09:09 AM   #17
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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What should I do?
Move up to where they respect your wife

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Old 04-16-2015, 09:57 AM   #18
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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Old 04-16-2015, 10:04 AM   #19
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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Originally Posted by Craggoo View Post
Why is there a clock on the kitchen stove?

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I was going to ask why she needs to know what time it is. But then Craggoo's voice was in my head saying "So she knows when to have dinner ready".
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Old 04-16-2015, 10:14 AM   #20
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

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Old 04-16-2015, 10:52 AM   #21
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Damn I'm getting anxious, 4 days without the pussy. The bich is putting the major squeeze play on.
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Old 04-16-2015, 11:01 AM   #22
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

entirely your fault init, you lie and hide what u do like a 20 year old
you could avoid all that by telling the truth.
I say this by personal experiences.

If it was me , theres 2 options..both will result in you be unhappy.
she leaves u , u can play poker and ur prob devastated
option 2 , you get a reg job , ur unhappy and you will always think if i just wasnt married.

GL.
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Old 04-16-2015, 11:29 AM   #23
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

Quote:
Originally Posted by I g0tz haxed View Post
Damn I'm getting anxious, 4 days without the pussy. The bich is putting the major squeeze play on.
Time to play the King Jack off then.
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Old 04-16-2015, 11:40 AM   #24
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

That hand busted me at my 1kNL shot. THE King Jack off now leaves burning pain, crying and regret whenever I think about it.
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Old 04-16-2015, 12:21 PM   #25
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Re: Beat: got married and wife hates poker

you shouldnt put a penny in your wife mouth, these things are filled with bacteria
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