First off I feel bad for what I did. I was all coked up playing poker and kept losing. I ran my CC up then took my parents. They had a 10k limit and I lost all 10k or close. So many bad beats its just unspeakable. So many sets over sets, I either think coke is rigged or online poker. I havent decided.

After I passed out and realized what I did. i felt really gross inside. I went and told my parents and my dad actually grabbed me and kneed me in the balls. Like come on in the balls dad? Wow not cool. I got kicked out and have no money. I have a bunch of friends that play poker so Im at their house. I didnt even tell them because Im ashamed and I deserve to be living it rough.

Well about 6km from my parents house there is old people who own a farm and I decided to sneak in and set myself up a little loft up where there old limbs cant allow them to climb. Its actually quite comfortable but the smell of **** is bad but Im getting used to it. There have some cattle and chickens and whatever. I actually mostly eat eggs, I mean its free and there is always a tonne laying around. Ive also managed to make a little bit of money. I steal some of their eggs every morning save them up. I take my bike and go for a long ride, set up a sign and sell the eggs on the side of a road.

The other day I heard the couple in the barn say "maybe we should call the doctor in and see why they stopped laying eggs". I laughed quietly.

I dont know how many eggs I have to sell to make the 10k back but Im going to keep trying. I think I might ask one of the farmers in the area if I can work for them.

Just want to add these old people have a smokin hot grandaughter. Im going to approach her one day and try and **** her or something. I think she will but of course I wont be all creepy about it. Maybe Ill use my egg money, rent a car and take her out for dinner.

My dad told me if I ever go back he will kill me and dump me in an old well. I believe him, hes actually shot two people before. He is insane and I should have thought about this when running up the CC. I love my family and I will get their respect back. Well I hope so

in

Beats, Brags, Variance, and Creative Writing

Step 1: Steal underpants
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit

kinda laughed, not bad

Make sure you get enough exercise, eggs tend to raise cholesterol levels.

Someone should have kneed your dad in the balls imo.

Obv you should save some egg money and cook her some eggs..... easssssy over.


Just don't try to pet her too hard in the barn, Lenny.

Grind freerolls with chickens obv

Start poker site
Sell eggs for fpps
Profit

lol

cook her an omelette

Coke confirmed rigged.

lol wtf is this

you missed one letter

not one word of truth, but very well presented and entertaining yarn!

[ ] True story.

lol

Good story

Sell cocaine not eggs. More money in drugs than poultry, bro.

No money in dairy everyone's solid

Don't milk it

didnt read but gonna guess you've been getting friendly with your new flatmates

True or not would be entertaining if you posted some pictures. That's what a good BBv story needs!