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03-29-2007 , 05:57 PM
#126
another loser
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I used to drink a lot.... I mean a LOT.

In 1994 I lived in Phoenix Az and was in the USAF. I had a nearly brand new CBR600F2. But I had let a friend borrow it and borrowed a brand new CBR600F3 from my roomy.

Anyway so I headed to an awesome bar that's probably still open called Pollock Joe's (near Olive and 43rd I think).

I had a gf that lived in some apts right behind the bar. So I figured I could just ride the bike to her place after I got drunk.

So I had my 15+ beers and started to just nurse one. Then my GF and one of her friends who was real hot came in. We started doing shots of Goldschlauger. After about my 3rd or 4th one hotty asks me if that was my helmet and if so would I take her for a ride.

Well heck yes I'll take you for a ride.

So we go around this corner, I straighten out and hit the gas a lil too hard. She must not have been holding on too good because she flew off the back! I was so drunk it didn't occur to me to turn around and go pick her up so I just kept on going.

So I get back to my GF apts and forgot the gate code. I called and called but she was passed out. I jump the wrought iron fence and rip the heck out of my brand new Gerbaud jeans (take it easy on me it was the early 90's). I get up to her apt and pound on the door until she finally lets me in.

Next thing I know my GF is shaking the shiat out of me asking "what happened to hotty? What happened to hotty?". I was like "huh?". She said hotty's brother was on the phone with her. Bro told her that hotty got arrested for public drunkenness.

Then it hit me "I forgot to go back outside the gate to get the motorcycle!!!!"

Cliff notes - I got drunk, girl falls off motorcycle and I forgot to get her, she gets arrested, her brother is probably still after me, I rip my jeans, motorcycle gets stolen and I have to pay 20% deductible, I lose GF.
Yeah, also, you're pretty much a horrible waste of skin.
That's interesting. I think you would be the only person to have ever met me say something like that.

I was telling the absolute honest truth. The girl fell off my bike and I was so drunk I FORGOT to pick her up. It wasn't like I said "screw her". I literally forgot. But go ahead thinking that way. Who knows maybe you're right.
The fact that you think forgetting to pick the girl up is the only horrible part of this story further reinforces the fact that you are a POS.
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03-29-2007 , 05:58 PM
#127
Brad1970
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I used to drink a lot.... I mean a LOT.

In 1994 I lived in Phoenix Az and was in the USAF. I had a nearly brand new CBR600F2. But I had let a friend borrow it and borrowed a brand new CBR600F3 from my roomy.

Anyway so I headed to an awesome bar that's probably still open called Pollock Joe's (near Olive and 43rd I think).

I had a gf that lived in some apts right behind the bar. So I figured I could just ride the bike to her place after I got drunk.

So I had my 15+ beers and started to just nurse one. Then my GF and one of her friends who was real hot came in. We started doing shots of Goldschlauger. After about my 3rd or 4th one hotty asks me if that was my helmet and if so would I take her for a ride.

Well heck yes I'll take you for a ride.

So we go around this corner, I straighten out and hit the gas a lil too hard. She must not have been holding on too good because she flew off the back! I was so drunk it didn't occur to me to turn around and go pick her up so I just kept on going.

So I get back to my GF apts and forgot the gate code. I called and called but she was passed out. I jump the wrought iron fence and rip the heck out of my brand new Gerbaud jeans (take it easy on me it was the early 90's). I get up to her apt and pound on the door until she finally lets me in.

Next thing I know my GF is shaking the shiat out of me asking "what happened to hotty? What happened to hotty?". I was like "huh?". She said hotty's brother was on the phone with her. Bro told her that hotty got arrested for public drunkenness.

Then it hit me "I forgot to go back outside the gate to get the motorcycle!!!!"

Cliff notes - I got drunk, girl falls off motorcycle and I forgot to get her, she gets arrested, her brother is probably still after me, I rip my jeans, motorcycle gets stolen and I have to pay 20% deductible, I lose GF.
Yeah, also, you're pretty much a horrible waste of skin.
That's interesting. I think you would be the only person to have ever met me say something like that.

I was telling the absolute honest truth. The girl fell off my bike and I was so drunk I FORGOT to pick her up. It wasn't like I said "screw her". I literally forgot. But go ahead thinking that way. Who knows maybe you're right.
Dude, you coulda had a kickass threesome if you woulda picked up the hottie....maybe.
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03-29-2007 , 05:59 PM
#128
oneouterson
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The one and only time I smoked crack when i was living in colorado for the summer(two years ago). I ended up getting in an argument with my girlfriend and leaving with her friend. I woke up the next day in some strangers car(I hitchhiked?) in the middle of Utah heading to California with this chick passed out on me. All of my friends had no clue to where i was, neither did I. The next thing I know some middle aged lady has me behind the wheel driving her SUV.
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03-29-2007 , 06:04 PM
#129
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lol A+ work on that last one, whoever did that. i particularly liked
Quote:
I think I should see a psychologist about this, but I'm afraid I might try to hook up with her if she's hot.
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03-29-2007 , 06:08 PM
#130
limon
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The answer to all those questions OOT asks itself daily

Quote:
When I was 23 (4 years ago) I went to the gym quite a bit. My lifting partner and I were pretty buff at that point and looked good (BEEFCAAAAAAKE!). We made fun of everyone else at the gym on a daily basis between ourselves and were horribly mean because we viewed them as inferior. One of the girls that came to the gym had terrible looking frizzy, curly hair, overweight by like 30 pounds, never talked to anyone, and was a rumored lesbian. She looked to be about 21 or 22. We made fun of her constantly. One day as I was leaving the gym I saw her in front of me walking to her car, she got into a brand new Range Rover as I walked to my old Honda. I suddenly saw the light. The next time I saw her at the gym I started talking to her and found out who her stepdad was through conversation. I found out that he bought and sold shopping malls and owned a very well known company in my city. I asked another person at the gym if he knew who she was and he laughed and mentioned how ugly she was and I laughed along with him. Then he told me her family was probably worth in excess of $100 million. I stopped laughing. I grew up poor (750 sq. ft house for 5 kids and parents) and I didn't want to be poor anymore. I launched an all out romantic attack on her, we started going out, she still may have been a lesbain but I didn't care, we eventually moved in together, I still couldn't look at her without cringing, and 2 years later we got married. This woman is now my wife.

Beat: I probably married a lesbian
Brag: Her parents bought us a $600,000 house in a country club subdivision that he owns for our wedding present and I work for her dad managing part of his real estate portfolio. I'm on salary at $240,000 a year. Her trust fund pays her $8800/month until she's 30 and she will receive a $10 million lump sum on her 30th birthday. He's 73 now and not doing well, the inheritance will be sick since he didn't have any kids on his own due to completely immersing himself in his business his entire life. I love the money, my wife can't cook and she's ugly, but I'm rich.
Variance: I married someone that I hate and can't look.

My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same thing, swallow your pride and marry the first time for money and the second time for love.
limon?

lol
nah, met my wife in highschool, shes a solid L.A. 9 (most she can be since she turned 30), her family is broke and she only brings in about 15k a month.
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03-29-2007 , 06:08 PM
#131
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FGators is underrated, discuss
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03-29-2007 , 06:19 PM
#132
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This one seems too weird to be fake. Discuss

Quote:
i jerked off in the porta potty at work yesterday while taking a [censored]...when i came, i came all over the place cause i thought it would be funny and im dirty like that..when i went in there today to take a [censored] there was like 500 ants all over the cum spot on the floor eating it..
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03-29-2007 , 06:24 PM
#133
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Adanth wtf

Have you censored any yet dude?
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03-29-2007 , 06:26 PM
#134
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Please post violent felonies!
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03-29-2007 , 06:26 PM
#135
CaptDEEbo
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Adanth wtf

Have you censored any yet dude?

censoring would be a crime..
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03-29-2007 , 06:32 PM
#136
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this thread is [censored] weird

like really [censored] up
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03-29-2007 , 06:34 PM
#138
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adanthar
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Adanth wtf

Have you censored any yet dude?
other than a couple of dumb fake ones and a random one liner, no

but if it helps, someone admitted to being what it do kid

edit: these latter day SA ones have all sucked. the original few were the best, and they're all archived
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 06:37 PM
#139
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Quote:
Quote:
The answer to all those questions OOT asks itself daily

Quote:
When I was 23 (4 years ago) I went to the gym quite a bit. My lifting partner and I were pretty buff at that point and looked good (BEEFCAAAAAAKE!). We made fun of everyone else at the gym on a daily basis between ourselves and were horribly mean because we viewed them as inferior. One of the girls that came to the gym had terrible looking frizzy, curly hair, overweight by like 30 pounds, never talked to anyone, and was a rumored lesbian. She looked to be about 21 or 22. We made fun of her constantly. One day as I was leaving the gym I saw her in front of me walking to her car, she got into a brand new Range Rover as I walked to my old Honda. I suddenly saw the light. The next time I saw her at the gym I started talking to her and found out who her stepdad was through conversation. I found out that he bought and sold shopping malls and owned a very well known company in my city. I asked another person at the gym if he knew who she was and he laughed and mentioned how ugly she was and I laughed along with him. Then he told me her family was probably worth in excess of $100 million. I stopped laughing. I grew up poor (750 sq. ft house for 5 kids and parents) and I didn't want to be poor anymore. I launched an all out romantic attack on her, we started going out, she still may have been a lesbain but I didn't care, we eventually moved in together, I still couldn't look at her without cringing, and 2 years later we got married. This woman is now my wife.

Beat: I probably married a lesbian
Brag: Her parents bought us a $600,000 house in a country club subdivision that he owns for our wedding present and I work for her dad managing part of his real estate portfolio. I'm on salary at $240,000 a year. Her trust fund pays her $8800/month until she's 30 and she will receive a $10 million lump sum on her 30th birthday. He's 73 now and not doing well, the inheritance will be sick since he didn't have any kids on his own due to completely immersing himself in his business his entire life. I love the money, my wife can't cook and she's ugly, but I'm rich.
Variance: I married someone that I hate and can't look.

My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same thing, swallow your pride and marry the first time for money and the second time for love.
Thats f'ed up DDY.
Why does everyone assume all the F'd up ones are me??!?!?!?!?!?!

This one is particularly [censored] up if true. Just wow. Male gold digger. This mfer needs to get hit by a bus or barely survive a fire. You're stealing this woman's best years then you're going to dump her once she actually is old then it will really be too late for her to find anyone. What a piece of human garbage this guy is.

Sorry to keep editing: Keep telling yourself she is a lesbian, you piece of [censored]. I'll bet she isn't one bit. Being after money is one thing, but you're ruining this woman's life in the process. You have no soul.
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03-29-2007 , 06:39 PM
#140
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Reading the degen confessions are truely sad because I can relate to the feelings they go through.
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03-29-2007 , 06:49 PM
#141
Rnr_Rnr_Hobgoblin
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I used to drink a lot.... I mean a LOT.

In 1994 I lived in Phoenix Az and was in the USAF. I had a nearly brand new CBR600F2. But I had let a friend borrow it and borrowed a brand new CBR600F3 from my roomy.

Anyway so I headed to an awesome bar that's probably still open called Pollock Joe's (near Olive and 43rd I think).

I had a gf that lived in some apts right behind the bar. So I figured I could just ride the bike to her place after I got drunk.

So I had my 15+ beers and started to just nurse one. Then my GF and one of her friends who was real hot came in. We started doing shots of Goldschlauger. After about my 3rd or 4th one hotty asks me if that was my helmet and if so would I take her for a ride.

Well heck yes I'll take you for a ride.

So we go around this corner, I straighten out and hit the gas a lil too hard. She must not have been holding on too good because she flew off the back! I was so drunk it didn't occur to me to turn around and go pick her up so I just kept on going.

So I get back to my GF apts and forgot the gate code. I called and called but she was passed out. I jump the wrought iron fence and rip the heck out of my brand new Gerbaud jeans (take it easy on me it was the early 90's). I get up to her apt and pound on the door until she finally lets me in.

Next thing I know my GF is shaking the shiat out of me asking "what happened to hotty? What happened to hotty?". I was like "huh?". She said hotty's brother was on the phone with her. Bro told her that hotty got arrested for public drunkenness.

Then it hit me "I forgot to go back outside the gate to get the motorcycle!!!!"

Cliff notes - I got drunk, girl falls off motorcycle and I forgot to get her, she gets arrested, her brother is probably still after me, I rip my jeans, motorcycle gets stolen and I have to pay 20% deductible, I lose GF.
Yeah, also, you're pretty much a horrible waste of skin.
That's interesting. I think you would be the only person to have ever met me say something like that.

I was telling the absolute honest truth. The girl fell off my bike and I was so drunk I FORGOT to pick her up. It wasn't like I said "screw her". I literally forgot. But go ahead thinking that way. Who knows maybe you're right.
Dude, you coulda had a kickass threesome if you woulda picked up the hottie....maybe.
Very true.... But I'd be too worried that I would be very unimpressive. I'd underperform and swear it was very cold outside. Even during the summer in Az.
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03-29-2007 , 07:09 PM
#142
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This one seems too weird to be fake. Discuss

Quote:
i jerked off in the porta potty at work yesterday while taking a [censored]...when i came, i came all over the place cause i thought it would be funny and im dirty like that..when i went in there today to take a [censored] there was like 500 ants all over the cum spot on the floor eating it..
wtf?? this is just wrong, pretty entertaining though
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 07:26 PM
#143
CaptDEEbo
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way too early for this gem to drop to the 2nd page
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03-29-2007 , 07:38 PM
#144
AE6's Avatar
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Quote:
way too early for this gem to drop to the 2nd page
who's gonna be the first to call this guy a newb?
hint:99 threads per page
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 07:41 PM
#145
pnazari
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
The answer to all those questions OOT asks itself daily

Quote:
When I was 23 (4 years ago) I went to the gym quite a bit. My lifting partner and I were pretty buff at that point and looked good (BEEFCAAAAAAKE!). We made fun of everyone else at the gym on a daily basis between ourselves and were horribly mean because we viewed them as inferior. One of the girls that came to the gym had terrible looking frizzy, curly hair, overweight by like 30 pounds, never talked to anyone, and was a rumored lesbian. She looked to be about 21 or 22. We made fun of her constantly. One day as I was leaving the gym I saw her in front of me walking to her car, she got into a brand new Range Rover as I walked to my old Honda. I suddenly saw the light. The next time I saw her at the gym I started talking to her and found out who her stepdad was through conversation. I found out that he bought and sold shopping malls and owned a very well known company in my city. I asked another person at the gym if he knew who she was and he laughed and mentioned how ugly she was and I laughed along with him. Then he told me her family was probably worth in excess of $100 million. I stopped laughing. I grew up poor (750 sq. ft house for 5 kids and parents) and I didn't want to be poor anymore. I launched an all out romantic attack on her, we started going out, she still may have been a lesbain but I didn't care, we eventually moved in together, I still couldn't look at her without cringing, and 2 years later we got married. This woman is now my wife.

Beat: I probably married a lesbian
Brag: Her parents bought us a $600,000 house in a country club subdivision that he owns for our wedding present and I work for her dad managing part of his real estate portfolio. I'm on salary at $240,000 a year. Her trust fund pays her $8800/month until she's 30 and she will receive a $10 million lump sum on her 30th birthday. He's 73 now and not doing well, the inheritance will be sick since he didn't have any kids on his own due to completely immersing himself in his business his entire life. I love the money, my wife can't cook and she's ugly, but I'm rich.
Variance: I married someone that I hate and can't look.

My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same thing, swallow your pride and marry the first time for money and the second time for love.
Thats f'ed up DDY.
Why does everyone assume all the F'd up ones are me??!?!?!?!?!?!

This one is particularly [censored] up if true. Just wow. Male gold digger. This mfer needs to get hit by a bus or barely survive a fire. You're stealing this woman's best years then you're going to dump her once she actually is old then it will really be too late for her to find anyone. What a piece of human garbage this guy is.

Sorry to keep editing: Keep telling yourself she is a lesbian, you piece of [censored]. I'll bet she isn't one bit. Being after money is one thing, but you're ruining this woman's life in the process. You have no soul.
wow, sums up everything that i wanted to say nicely...preach on brotha
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03-29-2007 , 07:46 PM
#146
CaptDEEbo
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banned
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Quote:
Quote:
way too early for this gem to drop to the 2nd page
who's gonna be the first to call this guy a newb?
hint:99 threads per page

second page of BBV...oldie
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 07:47 PM
#147
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
The answer to all those questions OOT asks itself daily

Quote:
When I was 23 (4 years ago) I went to the gym quite a bit. My lifting partner and I were pretty buff at that point and looked good (BEEFCAAAAAAKE!). We made fun of everyone else at the gym on a daily basis between ourselves and were horribly mean because we viewed them as inferior. One of the girls that came to the gym had terrible looking frizzy, curly hair, overweight by like 30 pounds, never talked to anyone, and was a rumored lesbian. She looked to be about 21 or 22. We made fun of her constantly. One day as I was leaving the gym I saw her in front of me walking to her car, she got into a brand new Range Rover as I walked to my old Honda. I suddenly saw the light. The next time I saw her at the gym I started talking to her and found out who her stepdad was through conversation. I found out that he bought and sold shopping malls and owned a very well known company in my city. I asked another person at the gym if he knew who she was and he laughed and mentioned how ugly she was and I laughed along with him. Then he told me her family was probably worth in excess of $100 million. I stopped laughing. I grew up poor (750 sq. ft house for 5 kids and parents) and I didn't want to be poor anymore. I launched an all out romantic attack on her, we started going out, she still may have been a lesbain but I didn't care, we eventually moved in together, I still couldn't look at her without cringing, and 2 years later we got married. This woman is now my wife.

Beat: I probably married a lesbian
Brag: Her parents bought us a $600,000 house in a country club subdivision that he owns for our wedding present and I work for her dad managing part of his real estate portfolio. I'm on salary at $240,000 a year. Her trust fund pays her $8800/month until she's 30 and she will receive a $10 million lump sum on her 30th birthday. He's 73 now and not doing well, the inheritance will be sick since he didn't have any kids on his own due to completely immersing himself in his business his entire life. I love the money, my wife can't cook and she's ugly, but I'm rich.
Variance: I married someone that I hate and can't look.

My advice to anyone thinking of doing the same thing, swallow your pride and marry the first time for money and the second time for love.
Thats f'ed up DDY.
Why does everyone assume all the F'd up ones are me??!?!?!?!?!?!

This one is particularly [censored] up if true. Just wow. Male gold digger. This mfer needs to get hit by a bus or barely survive a fire. You're stealing this woman's best years then you're going to dump her once she actually is old then it will really be too late for her to find anyone. What a piece of human garbage this guy is.

Sorry to keep editing: Keep telling yourself she is a lesbian, you piece of [censored]. I'll bet she isn't one bit. Being after money is one thing, but you're ruining this woman's life in the process. You have no soul.
wow, sums up everything that i wanted to say nicely...preach on brotha
I didnt really think nothing of it buy ya raises some good points, f-ed up story
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 07:56 PM
#148
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
way too early for this gem to drop to the 2nd page
who's gonna be the first to call this guy a newb?
hint:99 threads per page

second page of BBV...oldie
less than 99 posts/page... noob
BBV Anonymous Confessions Quote
03-29-2007 , 08:05 PM
#149
CaptDEEbo
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banned
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
way too early for this gem to drop to the 2nd page
who's gonna be the first to call this guy a newb?
hint:99 threads per page

second page of BBV...oldie
less than 99 posts/page... noob

you are smarter than me..i submit...but is your avatar serious?? is that u in the pic?? can we get more [censored] up stories by the way
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03-29-2007 , 09:16 PM
#150
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The lamest line to come out of this thread so far is from the Milf-hunter guy:

Quote:
I love the drive and talent it takes for a 25 year old to land a 40+ year old.
Seriously? I can't think of an easier score. Any young guy can nail a cougar by blinking. 40-year old broads are hornier than anyone. I have trouble picking up hot chicks at clubs, but I have to fight cougars off with a stick. (And I do, because I don't like 'em that old).
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