this thread is just amazing. Read all 40 pages this morning, absolutely no regrets and please for the love of god can we get this going again.

I have been experimenting with a new diet and it basically causes me to have small very wet ****s.

I was in a movie last weekend and I had a fart I felt pretty confident in. As it turned out I should have not been so confident, but only a little got out. So i did the ole ass clenched walk of shame to the bathroom to investigate. Grabbed some towels hit the stall and my fears were confirmed.

I hate when that happens.

i love this thread

it was difficult bc the bathroom was really busy so I had to tear my drawers off whilst seated on the throne.

AFAIK there was no collateral damage, well except for the drawers and a potentially clogged toilet.

Flush the drawers, flood the floors, conquer the moors, just another day in paradiseeee

welp, i am a quarter italian so i prob have some moor in me

It's possible. You ever see True Romance? Dennis Hopper's finest scene ever.

off i have seen it, and agreed his greatest scene. My Nonna was always very eager to point out that our bloodline is from northern italy. She was one of the most racist people i have ever known.

In HS i made friends with a nice sicilian boy, I was excited to tell her I had befriended an italian. When I told her he was sicilian, she spit on the floor and cussed me out for hanging out with him

True BBV Confessions: Nonna Hardcore

Years ago, I knew an individual with tilt issues. Granted, he'd never spew off real manies. He'd switch to play money 8 game. When first to act in 2-7, he'd try to get 4 bets in every street and draw 5 each round in hopes of stealing outs and laugh at the die from cancer comments in the chat box.

Play money people are mean.

Signed, Anonymous

❤️

+1

i was short stacking in a live cash game and went all in "blind" pre against 2 limpers except..... it wasn't blind, i looked at my cards and scooped with QQ.
i know i know... scum of the earth. I repent for my sins to the poker Gods and may them have mercy on my soul.

It was dark day back in 1999. I was a 14 year old kid, who played football and spent my sundays on my playstation. I was invited to an older high school party under strict instructions to not drink any alcohol. My cousin picked me up in his car, threw me a few cans of double brown and said lets party.

To be continued...........

Not sure if it fits.

Some random girl gave me her number. She knew me through friends. Walked up and slapped down her number on some paper written in pink and said any time just text me.

Next weekend I texted her and she came over. We had sex for a few weeks regularly. I secretly recorded a few sessions with no intentions to show anyone but watch them myself for...whatever narcissistic reasons.

We stopped talking. I told no one about her and assumed she told no one.

A year later, her husband(didn't know she was married) hears I was bragging about it and him and his group of friends decide I'm a *** or some schizo who lies about women and they tried to ruin whatever reputation I don't have(She told her friends). I literally told no one.

I still have showed no one. Was made fun of by said people. It's been a few years past and it's irrelevant now

I still think about sending him the videos. maybe on his death bed in 50 years.

Feelsgoodman

My confession:

What I said to MTT_9797's mom.

I was an RA. One night after a huge campus-wide party, a few stragglers were wandering my hall with Disco clothes on. Just for context on how ridiculous this night already was, I was naked in a robe and my ex-boyfriend was trying to get me back while my current one was in my room. My gay best friend was shirtless as always, watching this go down. One of my first-years in particular was a huge problem for me - he'd only drink $12 handles of vodka to blacking-out, and only alone. I had to talk to every 21-year-old in the dorm to stop them buying him booze but he kept getting it. He was verbally abusive to me if I ever tried to talk to him about it and was a constant source of douchebaggery.
His roommate, one of the sweetest first-year boys I'd ever worked with, came back to his room late and found it locked. We all stopped what we were doing to pound on the door and wake up his toolbag of a roommate. When he finally roused and clicked the door open, we were all taken aback by the putrid smell within. The roommate was already back in bed by the time we gathered our wits, steeled our ****ing courage and sense of smell, and turned on the light. There was **** everywhere. On the walls. The curtains. The ****ing light switch my friend just hit. He gagged a little. All over the toolbag's bed for ****ssake. He'd just gotten ****faced by himself and shat on everything. We groaned at him to wake up and made him shower while his traumatized roommate slept on my friend's beanbag chair.
The next day, I tried to call up a Residence Coordinator to say we needed a surreptitious roommate transfer as the traumatized boy could not live with the toolbag anymore but didn't want to hurt his feelings by letting him in on the process. She mixed up the roommates and severely offended the ****show instead of helping the traumatized boy. Not wanting to hurt his feelings further, the roommate decided to stay as long as ****show attended counseling. He didn't.
tl;dr: Literal ****show on my dorm floor thanks to an alcoholic and emotionally-abusive 18-year-old dickbag, in front of an audience of people who were either naked, half-naked, or dressed for a Disco-theme party.

The entire night was pretty daft, in fairness.
The gig itself should have went bad since I (the singer) had no voice until the morning of the gig, the drummer had a broken hand (I **** you not- we taped a drumstick to the cast) and one of the guitarists was barred from the pub the week beforehand for fighting. I was expecting a mediocre gig at best, but somehow both my voice and the drummers tape held up, and they let the guitarist in for the gig!
So the gig went great, but my phone had died earlier in the evening, so I was relying on the people I was drinking with afterwards for a place to stay (I'm somewhat homeless). I got talking to this gorgeous blonde at the pub we played in, but the guys wanted to leave, so I had to cut that conversation short or risk being stuck without a place to stay (I'm much too shy to expect her place ).
Went to another pub, got talking to a friend of a friend who I had no interest in, but she wouldn't leave me alone
"You study economics? I LOVE economics!"
She was persistent, I had to make an excuse to get away from her. Finally I got talking to this red head, we hit it off but that crazy girl I just got away from found me and forced her way into our conversation. After a few minutes of this girls attempted cock blockery the red head winks at me, grabs my arm and pulls me away from the crowd!
"We're gonna have to pretend we're together or she'll never leave"
Holy ****, I thought, this could actually go somewhere! So we spent the rest of the evening arm in arm, the other girl left us alone, and by closing time I was sure this was going somewhere. So when the guys in the band said "Hey, we're heading off now, coming?" I said no, this girl asked me back to hers (which she totally did).
Well done, brendan194!
Except... nope. As we were walking back to hers I found out two important details about her:
-She was too young to be in the pub
-She was my friend's sister
So I, being the drunk gentleman that I am, walked her home and made an awkward excuse as to why I had to leave. It was only then I remembered that I had no way to contact anyone and nowhere to stay that night.
It was now 3AM and I was still drunk, so I wandered to a nearby friend's house (they couldn't make it to the gig), knocked on the door a bunch of times, and when she didn't answer, I walked around back to see if there was an open door or window I could jump through. There wasn't, but the lock on the tool shed was off, so I went in there.
I found a piece of discarded counter top to lie on and used a paint can for a pillow (I **** you not).
I woke up at 9 the next morning, sore all over, and went for a breakfast roll.

I once peeled a Yorkie chocolate bar from the wrapper and gave it to a girl. After she ate it, I told her what it was. She felt horrible for years, I still laugh about it now

NOT FOR GIRLS

Sick brag and nice level btw

True altruism

isnt that threat abt being shameful?