was in college and dating a very pretty girl. this girl was a little strange but i didnt care because she was smoking hot and crazy girls give good bjs. anyways she had a car wreck a few months earlier and a piece of the car cut her stomach right below her belly bottom. this left a big scar and she was super self conscious about it. the scar didnt bother me at all but i could tell it bothered her. she had a great body but would never wear bathing suits in public and stuff like that.

one night we came home from the bar incredibly drunk and started fooling around in her dorm room. i took her clothes off and started kissing her neck and tits. she asked me to kiss her scar. i thought this was odd but was down for whatev so started kissing and licking this scar like a boss. i had plans to work my way down but out of nowhere i started puking all over her. it wasnt because i was grossed out about her scar i was just wasted. she immediately started crying because she obv thought her scar made me sick.

i am not good with girls when they start crying and showing emotion and didn't know what to do. i told her sorry and left her dorm while she was still laying in bed crying, covered in warm vomit. that was the last time i spoke to her because i avoid any awkward situations at all cost. we had one class together so i dropped it from my schedule. i still liked her and felt bad about the situation but didnt know what to do or say.

she added me on Facebook last week and is now a lesbian

^^ loool i don't believe you but good story none the less

+1 funny stuff.

bump

Gold Jerry, Gold.

Thanks for the bump as I didn't know this thread existed. Looks like I have some funny reading ahead of me.

Can you blame her?

You should have apologized for the premature release.

Here's one about the last time I had sex with a fatty.

It was the winter of my twenty first year, and there were four of us hanging out at this girls' house who was the friend of a friend. We are all watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail when this girl said "Hey, I should invite Jen over! She loves this movie!" So, being a single dude at the time, my dick was like "Hell yeah! Get Jen over here!" while my mouth said "The more the merrier..."

Jen comes over, and I am immediately flaccid. This girl is pushing tree fiddy (/noObrian), and looks like she was born part bulldog. Of course, she sits down next to me on the the couch, and starts chatting it up. She is actually an intelligent, nerdy sort of person, so we had a good conversation, but the entire while I am trying with every fiber of my being to exude the "totally not into you, bro..." vibe. But, when we are about to leave, she invites me out for a drink at the local bar the next evening.

I should also say that I have major problems with picking up signals from women, and still pretty much have to be beaten over the head in order to notice that kind of stuff.

So, we go out for our drink, have another good conversation, and the whole "please don't be attracted to me" aura is just oozing out of my skin. At some point, I tell her that I got my first blowie while watching "You've Got Mail," and she says we should go back to her place to watch the movie. Being the oblivious person I was, and still am, I accept, and we abscond to her domicile.

She puts the movie in, pours us both a glass of wine, and we sit there talking. Something is a little different this time though. Now, she's giving me the bedroom eyes. Now, I'm starting to notice something is off, but I'm just not quite there yet. That was until she starts kissing my neck out of nowhere.

Now, I'm like "oh, ****..."

I suppose this is a good time to say that I used to have a problem with "pity sex" as it pertained to fat/unattractive girls. If anything started happening, I felt as though I had to go through with it because I didn't want to make them feel badly even though I died inside a little bit myself.

Anyway, we start having sex, and about five minutes into it, I am starting to feel so terrible about myself that I am racking my brain trying to come up with a way to just make it all end. Yes, I would have been fine with life functions terminating if it meant that the sex would stop. After about five minutes more, my brain comes up with the solution, "I'll fake a foot cramp! It HAS to work."

Boy, I'll tell ya hwhut... I became friggin' Daniel Day Lewis. I was writhing on the floor "in pain," and she bought the whole thing. Hook. Line. Sinker.

I suppose this is the part where I should mention that we hadn't yet kissed on the mouth.

I apologize, and she walks me out the door at which time she kisses me. It was also at this time when her bristly white stubble that I hadn't previously noticed stabs itself into my face.

Thankfully, my car was around the corner because I got inside, lit up a cigarette, and just blankly stared at the steering wheel for about ten minutes while contemplating ritual seppuku.

From that moment on, I vowed to never, ever, evereverever, have pity sex ever again. It has been a decade now, and I am glad to say that I am still clean.

Variance: My best friend went on to date her for three years afterward. And, they lived the upper level of my parents' house for two of those three years.

tl;dr
- Pity ****ed a supremely fat uggo
- Faked a foot cramp to get out of it

When you think back to that night do you still consider it? Because that does not sound like something you can just block out.

Foot cramp.

Genius.

I have been able to cope with the suicidal thoughts, but the events are seared into my memory so deeply that it is like I am literally reliving it every time it cones to mind.

Junior year of college at UMD.

Worked at Quiznos along with three of my buddies. The store was a stone's throw from all of the bars everyone would frequent.

After a night of heavy drinking. Last call, the 4 of us leave. Smoke a blunt.

It is now 3:30 am and we are all hungry as hell. Someone says that they would kill for Quiznos. Just so happens that my friend works the morning shift at the store and has the keys.

Obv we decide going into the store to make subs is the BEST IDEA EVERRRRRRRRR.

Drunk and stoned the 4 of us go into the store and proceed to turn on the oven and start making ourselves some of the largest subs you could ever dream of.

EVerything is going great, we are spazzing out eating our sandwiches in the back when all of a sudden we hear someone yell, "What the ****?!" I turn around and our 5ft indian boss is staring at us in shock.

We stare back in shock.

It is 4am, we are literally covered in sauces and crumbs. 2 of us are in the walk-in in freezer laughing like idiots. He sees all of this. He angrily tells us to get the **** out. We sheepishly comply, the party is over.

Next day rolls around and we are all wondering how this is gonna play out. Boss calls us, tells us to come in for our shifts that day. Silence the entire shift. No mention of the previous nights events. At the end of the week (after working another 20 hours) boss informs us that he is not gonna call the police but he will be taking all of our paychecks ($1275 combined). W/e, we prolly got off lucky


2 weeks later, after we believed this to all be resolved, the bastard CALLS OUR MOTHERS and tells on all of us ON MOTHERS DAY!

this ****er waited two weeks to ruin our mother's mother's days...and we were all 20/21 yrs old

i felt bad.


/end

I have anonymous sex with strangers regularly.

Have read 42 pages, feel like a leech =)

I've got a friend who shlts his pants like once a year. He will not quit farting with power though ;-) He's psychologically skilled so stories mainly go "Shat my pants had to go buy new underwear/pants".

I only sh4t myself 2 times post diapers. Both times I was sleeping. First time I was about 10. I HAD A DREAM, mlk ref, that I was sitting on the toilet pooping. Wake up and have the biggest freaking log ever in my underwear.

Second time I was on vacation canary islands. Ate the biggest meal ever and should probably have avoided the ice cream. Wake up in the middle of the night. Was like an explosive situp and I puke so hard in my lap that I sh4t myself. Grab the sheets run to bathroom puke another time on the way. Throw sheets in bath tub and start praying to ulrich. When I'm done puking I turn around and unleash the fury of satan.

Oooooh I was gonna apologise for stories being so bad but then I remembered. Kind of breaking the rules since it wasn't me but I had to save this awful post.

A friend of a friend. Your regular cannabis courier was in India. He contracts amoebic dysentery. We call it 8 second warning, as in you got 8 seconds from knowing you need to until your ass has to be on a toilet. He is sleeping in a room full of people. In the middle of the night he wakes up and is being warned Starts making it towards the door navigation the sea of human flesh. He doesn't really make the door without leaving presents all over a bunch of people who are asleep. Luckily nobody wakes up. Grabs all of his stuff and disappears into the night ^^

I would pay to see their reaction when they wake up and there is diarrhea all over them =)

man some really thin brags in this thread...

... disgustingly thin.

I hope you're sitting comfortably............. So, a few months back before I started my divemaster training in thailand I had a friend come out from the UK to see me for a week, she was such a monumental pain in the ass to travel with instead of following the plan and going straight back to Koh Tao (my island) from Samui (holiday island) I decided to stay an extra night, it was such a quite peaceful resort with little rundown wooden bungalows, taxidrivers couldn't even find it! Met some girl and sat up untill about 4am drinking and laughing about all the idiots who get arrested in thailand at fullmoon parties for smoking and how we'd never be that stupid!

6am on the morning of friday 13th I woke up to find my bungalow door had been kicked in and there were 3 Thai policemen stood over my bed pointing assult rifles at me. ****! They saw my TINY bag of weed on my bed and went mad, dragged me naked out of bed, put me on the floor and cuffed me. They turn my room upside down but find nothing else. I'm then allowed to dress and get taken into the restuarant where they've done the same to the Austrian owner, a kiwi older girl and an english lad a bit older than me. All caught with small amounts of weed apart from the owner which he tells the policeman in charge. The copper walked over to him, put his hand in his own pocket and pulled out a big bag of weed and told him they found it on him and that's why he's gettting arrested.

We kept offering to pay money but they weren't interested in bribes. Got taken to a small station and questioned briefly then moved to larger holding cells. There were 9 thai guys in a room just about big enough for them all and us 3 guys got put in with them, the girl next door. The Thai's were really cool, sorted us a place on the wet concrete floor to sleep, a ****-smelling towel to use as a pillow as well as a few tokes on 'butt-smuggled' cigarettes. They also offered me opium but seen as we weren't suppose to be smoking at all I figured I was in enough trouble already and kindly refused. The cell was gross, flies, cockroaches, mozzies and spiders everywhere. The toilet was a squat drop in the corner with no privacy and once you'd flushed most of it ran out the sides so you had to mop up with you're pillow towel - not hot. We spent a total of 3 nights and 4 days in that little cesspit, occasionally friends would come and bring bits of food as we were only fed plain rice twice a day. Eventually we made contact with a lawyer who said she could get us bail after the weekend.

So we all went to court in a police wagon and got put into more cells, this time with leg shackles as well as cuffs. Spent another 6hours pacing up and down there before we were called. That was the main thing about it all, the conditions were gross, the food was nothing and the guards were ****s but all that I could deal with (short term at least) but it was the mind numbing bordem that really got to me. There was literally nothing at all to do apart from chat about the **** situation we were in, but at least I had the other 3 for company I guess. We were the last people to be released that day and thought we'd have to spend another night before making bail but it was all good and got released for 20,000THB ($1K) to reappear in court every 10days on Samui, they took our passports and 'black flagged' them so there was no point heading to malaysia to get a new one from the embassey which we were planning.

We had a young pretty lawyer at the time who was convinced she could get a bribe through for us. This was only only option as the laws had recently changed and if we went through the courts properly we were guarenteed to get deported back to our home countries. Not cool especially when it would mean getting banned from Thailand for life and all major countries for 10years, not to mention the obligatory 2month sentance in Bangkok followed by a month in the UK before being released. And we would only get that lucky if the weights came back from the lab as less than 4g's each - more than that and the prison time goes up a LOT. I had about 4g's, the others all definitely had more so were bricking it. Official weights came back and we all aparently had 0.5-1.5g's each which was very kind of them!

So I came back to Koh Tao thoroughly depressed to stated my divemaster training, knowing I'd have to go back to court in 10days. I told my bro and asked his advice about telling the parents (my dads a cop!) and he promptly told them everything. One long angry call to my dad and he essentially cut me off from them, no room at home for me and they were also going to pay for my divemaster and instructor training as well as help with accomodation as I came out pretty skint! Ah well I thought, **** them all I'm going to make the most of however long I had left. Really got into my training and forgot about the court date untill it came round. Went back to Samui and spent another day in the court cells only to be released again for another 10days, this carried on for a month and I was getting pretty pissed off with the whole system.

On one trip to Samui I met a very shady old french guy who told me his business was getting bribes payed and people released from prison - awesome! He sorted out a new lawyer for us as our old one wasn't even a really lawyer - just a bailbonder. This new guy was much better and seemed convinced he wouldn't have a problem getting the money to the right people. Another few trips to and from Samui each time spending all day in the cells and I finally got a call telling me the case will be heard for real the following morning. I'd just got on a dive boat and no way of making it to samui in time so after a few hours of panicing they managed to get the time changed. I showed up the next day in the closest I had for smart clothes - which quickly got filthy back in the cells when our lawyer comes running over to the bars and says he's not sure the bribes going to work but it's out of his hands now. He's also soo drunk he can bearly stand. It's 1pm. The case was called at 4pm, we walked into the court room and our translator just about knows enough english to tell us to stand up. Judge waffled on in thai for a few minutes and she told us we had a 1,500B court fine and a 2month sentance in Bangkok before getting deported - ****! After a few paniced minutes she remembers the heaven sent words 'suspended sentance'! WAHEY! After another hour or so waiting in the cells in cuffs and leg shackles we got released and our passptrs back complete with a letter to take to immigration to get rid of any black marks on them. It cost us an extra 70,000B on top of the 20,000B bail money we never saw again.

We all leapt for joy and sang down the steps of the court house and off to become officially free at the immigration centre. Walked through the door already well on the way to being wasted and the immigration guy asked us if we had tickets home, because we were off to prison in Bangkok and needed our own tickets home. He then called for a police wagon and we got loaded back up - **** **** ****! Made a quick call to our lawyer who came screaming around the corner on a motorbike a few minutes later, fell off (turned out he broke his collar bone) ran up to the policemen and starts screaming and shouting at them all, looks like he's going to get arrested himself the slips them all a few 1000B and they release us, passports back, free to go!!! Thats about where my memory of that day ends, we hit the shots big time after that emotional rollercoaster ride from hell! But it was actually over and I havn't heard anything since, stayed in Thailand the next 3 years as a scuba instructor and never told another living sole.

Beat - Went to jail in Thailand for an 1/8th weed


Brag - Got a bribe through, payed for by the strictest cop dad in the world
- Got more pussy over the next 3years than ron jeremy

is that a ladyboy

Hi BBV,

Ive pretty much read this entire thread, and i have to admit its very good. I felt that considering the entertainement it has brought to me i should provide a story of my own. Here it is !

It was the sunmmer of 2003 and i had literally just turned 18 about a week ago.
At this point in my life i was a complete degenerate, come to think of it i havent changed much... But i dont get into trouble and do illegal and ******ed stuff like i used to. That part of my life, i have cleaned up. So basically for the entire summer all i did was team up with my partner in crime, Randy, and shoplift liquor stores all across town, im from Montreal so they are state owned here, they are called SAQ. We would then sell some of the bottles, such as black label and courvoisier, to random people and buy weed and food with this money. We would then proceed to get faded off the other bottles and get fcukin blazed out ! Whenever we came across an oppotunity to hustle someone or just flat out rob them, we would do that too. So basically just like a broken record we would repeat this cycle more or less everyday.

So one day, we had stolen a record amount of bottle, i mean you wouldnt believe how sick Randy was at this. He would stuff his pants in his socks and literally put 2 bottles in each leg and walk out like it aint no thang. Obviously half the time the clerk would hear a clinging sound or notice the ridiculous bulge in his pants but by the time they noticed, it was too late. Anyway we raided different ones almost everytime so it took a while until they caught on to us but by the end of the summer, Randys face was basically posted on the front door of every SAQ with a wanted sign on it ! LOL I was more discrete(pussys) and wouldnt rob a bottle unless i was 100% sure they didnt see me (im a nit- i was bassically waiting for AA or KK and he was open shoving everyhand :O) Ok enough with the prelude but i think its important to understand the depth of our degeneracy.

So this day, we go back to my parents place and begin to get sauced. My parents are out of town for a few days so we go all out. Im with Randy and my childhood friend Jacques. Ive known Jacques since im 3, he was my neighbour since i can remember but recently his parents have had financial problems and sold their house to move to a smaller duplex style house and the people who baught his old house (2 doors down) are fcukin filthy rich and are expanding this already ginormous house ! Obviously there is a little hating going on. So now were just polishing off this 40 oz of Cuervo (Tequila always gets me in trouble) and then we get this genius idea of breaking into Jacques' old house to rob any valuables these rich bastards own. The house was vacant because of the construction and the family was staying at their cottage in the meantime. Me and Jacques know this house inside out and so breaking in shouldnt be a problem.

Now for the good part of this story. We decide to go through the alley an over the backyard fence to infiltrate the house like ninjas. We proceed to leave my backyard where we have been rowdy all night and walk two doors down the alley to our target. We proceed to climb the fence, and at this point i realize Randy isnt wearing shoes, like WTF? So im like WTF Randy, where are your shoes, to wich he replies im more comfortable doing this in my sox... OK. Now Randy is abig mother F, and he climbs the fence first but literally crushes this wooden fence and i just folds like a twig and makes a very loud noise that undoubtebly woke up the entire neighbourhood. Were laughing our asses off and just brush it off and proceed through the backyard. We find to our surprise the basement door unlocked and were like bingo!

Now were in, but were in the basement and theres no lights. But thats not an issue since we know this basement like our left hand and we just make our way through to the first floor like in aint no thang. At this point were feeling like bosses and we cant wait to see all the valuable **** we can steal from this rich douche. To our surprise, the house is empty, like totally empty not even any furniture. Were like WTF where is all our booty? We had found a sick cellar in the basement with a ****load of wine but we dont know a thing about wine and so its not too valuable to us, although im sure there were some sick bottles up in there. Obviously Randy already has le 2 bottles in his pants at this point...

Off to the second floor we decide. Once again we discover nothing but empty rooms and some construction equipment, F***! This is when it gets interesting. Jacques is in the room facing the front street while were in the other rooms snooping around, when he says COPS. I then reply SHUT UP not believing him, but he says no man for real COPS! I go to the window and see a cop car with its lights turned off slowly creeping to the house. Im like NO F**** WAY. Full on panic mode at this point. We all rush down the stairs and i **** you not i did not take a single step on those stairs, they were the kind with like 3 levels of like 4-5 steps that turn kind of in a circle. I literally jumped every flight and smashed into the wall repeatedly till i was on the 1sr floor. I rush tot he basement to exit threw the backyard door but when i get to the basement, Jacques and Randy are ahead of me and im so panicked i cant find my way and end up turning in circles in this dark basement terrified and lost. Im about to **** in my pants, it feels like ive been turning in circles for 2 minutes, but it had probably only been like 20 seconds. Im about to loose it when i finally see the dim light of the yard and bolt for the door.

I exit the basement feeling a huge relief of exiting that dungeon. As soon as i step outside i hear POLICE ARRETE ( wich is police stop in french), i turn around and see 2 cops with flashlights and pistol in hand pointing their firearms at me. I turn away and sprint to the fence as if there was a fire lit under my ass. I then see my partners in the process of jumping the fence on the left side of the yard where its half broken and very easy, i mean they could just walk threw that thing it was so bent, but i run for the right side cuz its closer. I step on a pile of tiles, convinently placed next to the fence at a hight of about 2 feet and leep over this 7 foot high fence in one motion. I land on my feet and just bolt down the alley as fast as i can. Since i was the first guy the coppers saw the chase me and my friends who went the other way up the alley bassically get a get outta jail card.

I run as fast as i can till i get to the end of the alley wich gives on to the main street, Sherbrooke, where theres a bar and people drinking on the terrasse(for anyone familiar with this neighbourhood, it was Maz bar). Right before i get to the corner i turn around to see how far or close i am from this porker chassing me and im about 100m ahead no jokes, im sure he struggled just hoping that fence ffs let alone run as fast as someone running for his freedom. I tuen the corner on Sherbrooke running so fast im spinning my arms like a windmill just to keep balance. Everyone on the terrasse of this bar are like wtf is going on here. Now at this point the tequila and copious amounts of chronic i consummed are catching up to the adrenaline boost and i am totally out of breath. I turn the first corner left hand side on Sherbrooke and cannot run anymore, i mean im burnt, toast, tank is on empty ! So im like wtf do i do if i stop running theyll catch up to me and im going to jail for B an E. So i enter the first backyard around the corner and it had one of there little picket fences about 3 feet high. Im jogging as fast as i can and see this fence but just run into it and kinda tilt it a bit. Then hop it and enter the backyard where i plan to hide out till the heat is gone.

Keep in mind this backyard gives directly on tot he alley and its a metal fence so i can see into the alley and vice versa. I sneak under the balconny, go to the corner and just place myself in a fetal position and observe the alley expecting to see cops running around looking for me. Now here is where i cant explain what happened. For some reason, without any rational process on my part i take off my white hoodie,roll in in a ball, and stuff it between my legs. After about 20 seconds of hiding i hear someone coming in the yard and start freaking out. Its the copper that was chassing me down the alley and he just followed my track and probably saw they crooked fence and assumed i went in this yard. He takes out his flashlight and starts scoping the yard. I was terrified and was getting ready to surrender. If he spots me under this balcony, there is no escaping. I follow his legs as he walks accross the balcony and finally he stops, my heart is pounding at a rate of 180 beats per minute, he crouches and starts scoping out my hideout, i dig my head in between my legs and begin to think about the butt rapings im going to have to avoid for the next year or so, when all of a sudden the light that had just been firmly directed towards me disappears and the cop stands up and yells something to his partner int the yard to the one im hiding in and leaves the yard. OMFG I cannot explain how he didnt see me or if he did and turned a blind eye. I attribute this to divine intervention because i have no other way of explaining it.

But im not home free yet... I still have to leave this hideout somehow with all these cops on the streets looking for me and make my way home, witch is 2 doors down from the crime scene. I wait about 10 minutes till i dont see anymore cop cars and porkers and decide im going to just walk home as if nothing happened. They surely identified my as a white male wearing a white hoodie, so if i walk home wearing a white wife beater i should be ok right. I figure if they stop me for some reason ill just be like I DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT MR OFFICER! So i leave my hoodie under the balcony and hop the fence into the alley walk right in front of MAZ bar towards the next block i live on. I get these staredowns from the bar degenerates like WTF did u do kid ? But nobody had the balls to say anything, just watch me walk by. I walk up my street and pass infront of the scene where theres 2 cops on the front porch standing infront of the door. They literally looked at me for 20 seconds as i walked in front of them to my doorstep entered my key and went inside. I think they were suspicious but they just watched me go home, didnt say a word. I think their thought process might have been something like HES NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO COME BACK...

As soon as i closed my front door i collapsed on my rug in the hall and started laughing , like one of those contagious laughs u cant control, for about a minute and then tried to call my friends but couldnt get in touch. I was so scared they got caught.

Now for the grand finale!

The next day i get woken up by the doorbell, so i get my hungover degenerate criminal good for nothing ass outta bed and answer. As i approach the door i can make out the person at the door, its the owner of the house!!!! Im like OMG WTF is he doing here, but i act cool as a cucomber and answer with a HEY WHATS UP ? He is FURIOUS i mean hes really worked up. He starts saying did you break into my house yesterday? Uhhh no ! i answer with a perplexed look on my face. I know you broke into my house last night he replies. What your house was broken into, thats messed up man, i didnt hear anything or see anything tho sorry, i reply. He starts flipping out and saying i know it was you, you little **** im gonna get some goons to come and break your legs you little ****! Wow dude that is totally uncalled for, threatening me like that, you need to cool down and watch what u say, i tell him. He leaves mad as hell and i find out from my parents a few days later when they confront me about this issue that the neighbour saw the whole thing from the moment we detroyed the fence and woke her up. I continue to deny and simply say shes a crazy witch and i think shes schytzo.
Nobody could prove anything but everybody knew and i had to bassically live with the reputation of a thief for 6 months until my parents kicked me out and i began my journey as a professional poker player.

Hope u enjoyed, i have more good ones. If people enjoyed this i may post more upon request.

Anonymous.

moar

happy you liked my story, ill try to post another good one tomorrow.

v nice pot2pissin

I had just gotten a rude awakening from this guy i burglurised last night and i was wide awake way before i wanted to. I had gotten smashed last night and ran a 400m sprint for my freedom so this kinda tilted me, but i thought whatever its just sick variance. I mean nobody expects to rob his neighbour drunken ninja style in the dark of the night and get caught more often then like 1 outta ten times. I take it easy cuz i know i really have nothing to worry about because there is nothing that can possibly incriminate me. But its still messed up that this guy drove a few hours to come down from his coutry house because some little s*** broke in his house. At this point i wasnt feeling much anymore. I just came so close to loosing my life, my freedom, everything i cherrish in this world. Nothing feels like much after that. There are moments when situations in life confront you to a decision where you can choose the right path or the wrong path, i truly believe that moment i got a second chance at that question. Semothing changed inside me that day and i never committed a crime or felony or anything since. Ok obviously that would be a lie, im not prefect but you know what i mean. Got a job as a salesman about two months later because i was kicked out and left to my own devices from there on. Needless to say, my rungood was not even beginning to be runout, i was on a heater. After reading some books about psychology, i came across, Influence, the psychology of persuasion, a book from some italian from california, i cant remember his name. It was a great book and helped perfect my street smarts hustling techniques into a legal way to mind rape your average sheeple. It was great and i was not only out of my parents, but i was ballin(40K- 30 hours a week) and i was going to school. All these changes to my lifestyle when i was still hanging out with really shady people to say the least, led to some crazy situations.

This chain of events led me to eventually have my first child at age 21, and becoming a poker pro for the last 6 years.

I leave the house later that day and notice a red stain in the middle of the street and some scattered broken glass. I burst out laughing when Randy later tells me he was running away (in bear socks, obv cuz its better right) and fell down (probably cuz he was wearing socks right)so the bottle he had exploded in his pants and hes lucky he got homesafe without a chase.

On another note, my other friend, Jacques told me he ran the other way to a nearby church and sat on the front stairs. He said some pork cops passed by and asked him what he was doing and he said he was just smoking a cigarette. He said he didnt see anything and they left. He just walked 2 blocks home after finishing his rigs.

It was pretty amazing that none of us got caught, because Jacques was in and out all the time so obviously he was on probation (luckily he was 17 so it wasnt that bad). Randy ended up moving like 6 months later because his family got thrown out of their public housing. He moved further in town and i kinda lost contact with him. On top of that i got no punishment from my parents at all. But i know they also understood that we didnt steal anything, and for all they know we were just chilling gettting high in my buddys old house. But truth is we had the worst of intentions.

Anonymous.

Nice 1st story ^ Def interested in hearing another one

2nd

The poker community is brimming with class.