that...is so hot

That's so ****ed up.

lol if that ^^ was real

holy **** that can't be for realz?

"rent" post wins if real

**** agriculture.

^^ nice that you adopted her son and everything is working out well and i wish you all the best, but when you said must do this when i snap my fingers part is fukd up i think and she will probably hate you for that, or maybe not.

What i am trying to say is that you could have got everything you did by being nice to her too.

To the bloke talking about anal contractions.

I had this problem too, if theres blood sometimes, people including specialist doctors writ me off as having internal piles, to which i was called "the duke of argylle" by my close friends, however i now have the last laugh as i do not have piles, i have what is known as a fissure.

This is most probably what u have too and u should really get this checked out b4 the problem gets worse, a fissure is like a tear in the ass muscle, brought on in my case by excessive drinking causing constipation then when ive been pushing out an old brown stallion too hard i have ripped the muscle on the inside of my *******.

This tear as u can imagine cannot heal properly, cos obvs its as dirty as Bin Ladens beard after hes just gone down on a goat. Ive heard some pretty awful stories bout guys who have had to have their ass packed with cotton wool and a gauze and **** in a colostomy for the rest of their days because they were too embarrassed to go to the doc bout ass problems.

All they gave me was a bottle of enema fluid too loosen the pressure on the rectal muscle (obvs if ur too scared too take a pokerstars lobby, then it just gets worse when u really need to go, its harder and causes the tear even more strain) and they or he actually, also gave me some tablets which are brutal but they work like a dream.

The tablets will give u a 30 minute blinding migraine and need to be taken twice dailly. I took mine in the morn as soon as i was up and just sat on the couch in excrutiating pain for 30 mins, then ur on ur way and also just b4 bed, its also worth noting to take a paracetomol or painkiller 30 mins b4 u take the ass tablet, it kills the pain slightly when it kicks in.

Seriously dont let this go unnoticed. (it might not be this but just incase it is)
I had that happen to me first when i was 17. Im now 28 and was 26 when i recovered fully from it all because of these tablets, it will not cure itself no matter how long u leave it.

I probably could go 3 months without blood or contractions, then i would take a massive steamer and rip the tear again, back to square 1. It will not stop on its own ever.

Also if ur g/f likes to run her finger across ur ******* when jerking u off etc this is the worse case scenario. I quite enjoy a little ass fingering action when im gettin tugged or blown, and this fkn thing totally ruins the moment.

Get it seen to bro, and also look on the plus side, it might be some fkn seriously hot nurse who sticks her finger up your ass when they check u out at the local GP. I was sooo unlucky on that front, mine was like a fkn 60 year old man with a beard and i actually punched the wall in agony when he put his finger up fkn spinning it round and prodding, i still got off though, think he was a little surprised when he asked me to put my garments bak on and i had a raging bull loloolz. (obvs jk)

Na it was just a wee semi.

wat

Well im glad we cleared all that up my ass fingering friend.

Thank **** u dont have a fissure mate, it was truly terrible, all jokes aside, the pain sometimes was fkn excrutiating.

Sometimes when i could feel my g/fs finger slowly runnin across ma butt cheeks, and i know where its goin soon, i would have to tense all my muscles up thus virtually guaranteing that i would be walkin like john wayne tommorow cos id rip the tear again being so tense in expectation of the pain.
(obvs she didnt know i had this tear in my ass, i wasnt about to tell her hey honey no stickin fingys up the dingy i got a big fkn rip love)

Also u have just gotta love that moment.

The moment u have been friggin the birds bean, 1 hand on the clit the other underneath her ass, with the thumb up in the ass and the middle two fingers in her bat cave, then she comes an almighty roar and u r lookin at her with ur thumb still up her ass and she just looks all wimpish like, '****, hes still got his finger in my ass, must remember not to let him do that next time'

Then next time comes and its rinse repeat. Better than a kick in the fit by a welly bit imo.

Whilst were on the subject, if ive had sex b4 i go to work etc like just b4 runnin out the door and forgot to wash my hands etc, i spend all day just smelling the remnants of ass and puntang on my fingers, when no-ones lookin ill always have a wee sneaky smell, i just fkn luv it.

GG bro, take care of urself.

Baller.

So I'm outside the bar one night with a few friends and some homeless guy ask me if I had any change for him. So I said ''Alright buddy but you gotta work for it . I got 5 bucks in quarters here and if you want it your gonna have to pick er up''.

I then proceeded to throw the change at the overhang above us and lol'd at him picking up the change with my mates.

I walked away without telling him there was only tre fiddy.

The_White_Fawn

ftp

Uh.

I hope your future children get addicted to krokodil and you get hit by a truck carrying cars that subsequently fall on you.

SO i asked my dad what he wanted to eat one night and he said nah, im like f that, why dont you wanna eat? hes like"trash food there you got drunk last time and embarrassed me" To my case i dont think i embarrassed him. all that bs so im like ok, ill get you back and embarrass you sometime so you know how it feels to really be embarrased. he said ya ya whatever s0n... so i ordered a $15 pizza, gave my fathers name, knew delievery guy was coming up the street, told my dad"hey if delievery guy comes up street while im taking a dump can ya pay, the $$$on the table" hes like sure, not suspecting a thing......

(i left 15 on table) pizza guy came/i took dump, came out ate pizza, did my father dig in to his pocket to leave a tip? or did he just look like an idiot not tipping a place he regularly goes? The world will never know! but hey its a good way to own someone huh? I own dont I?

wat

I've read that story before, I think on 2p2. the woman was like 40 and fat

epicness ITT

lots of good times and weird dudes

I'm surprised that people are surprised that fat whores will fk u anytime for $$$$.

There are fat, non-whores who will gratefully fk and blow you for free, pretty much anytime. Who don't have kids.

There are attractive/'normal' girls who like sex as much as you do* and will also fk and blow you, possibly while playing online poker or sweating a MNF game. Many of them will have significantly more twisted fantasies than you will.


*Although instead of being cool and snapping your fingers, you may have to say 'Let's fk!'

I wanna learn how to run those whore houses in China. Please PM ME!

"More"

She tries to stall me at the door but I kinda push my way in. She starts crying almost immediately.Then I told her to turn around, drop her draws and bend over the couch. Which she did. I squirted some baby oil on my dick and stuck it in her ass.
She cried out in shock and she was sobbing pretty heavy at first. Then, about half way through, with God as my witness, she cried out, "I'm a good little whore. I'm Daddy's good little whore.
We've been together 4 years this January. I adopted her son last year.


I hope you cry yourself to sleep until she finally choses the day to smother your fat pimp ass with your sweat stained pillow.
I would give everything i own and more just to meet this POS.

Oh wait, its a link. Nah, we cool bro...

Someone reupload pics?

Trust me you dont' want to see them. I think the links are still itt, unsure tho, been a while since I look in the thread.

i know this is 3 years late, but holy **** that is an amazing post