BBV Anonymous Confessions - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

As seen on SomethingAwful, I bring you BBV's own Anonymous Confessions thread! This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil, incestuous, or mancrushes on other posters - without ever letting the Internet know whose Internet nickname was behind the ickyness.

Rules:
-I will post (almost) anything you send me at spamsuxxors@yahoo.com (lol old dead spam trap account) in this thread without your name/email attached. If you're horrified of discovery, make a throwaway email account and send your confession from there.

-No forum drama, confessions to recent violent felonies, or dumb fake stories (if you're sending a fake story it should pass the 'is this obviously BS' test.) All other entries are acceptable.

-Stories will be posted in the next 1-2 hours, around 12 PM (or whenever I feel like waking up) and periodically throughout the day.

gogogogo

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03-29-2007 , 12:57 AM

adanthar

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 20,109

First ever BBV confession appropriately about fish

Quote:

When i was 8 years old i really wanted a pet. My parents didn't want to
commit to a cat or dog, so they bought me a goldfish with the tank and
everything. The first two weeks were awesome! I'd watch this little goldfish
swim around the tank all the time and named him "Big Red" because he was
more red than gold. In the next month i also added a siamese fighting fish
to the tank. In the following months i got sick of having to clean the tank
and feed the fish etc... It turned into a chore...and i spent my entire life
growing up trying to eliminate chores. So one rainy Saturday morning, my
parents were out grocery shopping and only my older brother was home. I
locked the door to my room and grabbed the net that i used to scoop up the
fish when i had to clean the tank. I picked up the siamese fighting fish
(there were two at this point as the goldfish was dead) and i held it above
the tank out of the water. I waited until it stopped flopping around and was
sure it was dead. Then i just dumped them back in the tank. When my parents
came home i told them the fish died and they flushed it down the toilet.
They asked me if i wanted another one and i assured them that i'd be okay
without a fish. I guess i'm a murderer?

Evenkeal dramament (note: this is as close to forum drama as I'm gonna post, since it's about a banned member)

Quote:

I sent an email to the dean of engineering at Waterloo University regarding Evenkeal's paying of someone to do his homework yesterday at 3:14AM, linking him to the relevant thread. He has not yet replied.

I was also the person who posted EK's life story at flopturnriver.com, and I also did it at fullcontactpoker and pocketfives. Some random guy from FTR posted saying that he had IP banned me from that site. He has not.

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03-29-2007 , 01:02 AM

Full-Metall

banned

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,498

Quote:

Evenkeal dramament (note: this is as close to forum drama as I'm gonna post, since it's about a banned member)

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Wow, that's disgusting. Get someone booted from uni because they are annoying on an online forum.

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03-29-2007 , 01:09 AM

Lurker.

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,514

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

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03-29-2007 , 01:11 AM

NU Star

clever like that

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,509

Quote:

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

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03-29-2007 , 01:11 AM

adanthar

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 20,109

Like I said, Cake is rigged for 2+2'ers playing high, but against them playing low

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I managed to do what I'm pretty sure nobody else has done on twoplustwo, busto my account at sportsbook.com/cake. I deposited 200, ran it up to 450 playing .50/.25 unlimited hold them six maximum tables, ran it down to 250, then played within my normal game of .10/.20 only to play poorly enough to run it down to 50 dollars. I was so angry with my play, that I went to the craps table, and now my account has less than 90 cents. However, I am up almost 4 buyins ($100 dollars woohoo) in the past three days (long term results woohoo) at stars. I should stick to donkaments.

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03-29-2007 , 01:14 AM

Lurker.

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,514

Quote:

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

this doesnt make it right. lets end this discussion as i'm sure adanthar wants to stay on topic of confessions.

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03-29-2007 , 01:14 AM

Full-Metall

banned

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,498

Quote:

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

Out of $50 bucks, right? Seems fair. Also, you're assuming the person he tried to screw sent the prof that email. But most likely it was just some pathetic person here who has no life and thought he should take matters into his own hands. BBV is really becoming pathetic.

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03-29-2007 , 01:16 AM

furyshade

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 10,138

i can attest to cake being rigged at low stakes, i ran 1k up to 4.2k at 2/4 then proceeded to run horribly and am now down to 1600 or something

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03-29-2007 , 01:17 AM

#10

TheWorstPlayer

HoldEmKillah

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 21,663

On the confession side, at one point I became convinced that g2cu had actually NOT won 10K in his high stakes sessions. But by the end I was again convinced that he had once the data mining proved unreliable. Not much of a confession, but there it is.

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03-29-2007 , 01:17 AM

#11

NU Star

clever like that

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,509

Quote:

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

this doesnt make it right. lets end this discussion as i'm sure adanthar wants to stay on topic of confessions.

I'm not saying it's right, but I don't feel bad since he did the same thing.

Now back to whatever Andanthar wants.

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03-29-2007 , 01:24 AM

#12

shaundeeb

Augie's stunt double

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 16,232

I'm fat.

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03-29-2007 , 01:30 AM

#13

AntonHeat

banned

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 4,895

keep em coming boys

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03-29-2007 , 01:31 AM

#14

Guest

Posts: n/a

tonight i was robbed at gunpoint for the first time

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03-29-2007 , 01:31 AM

#15

Lurker.

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,514

Quote:

I'm fat.

i know who did this one!

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03-29-2007 , 01:32 AM

#16

Squareview

banned

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 2,043

BAN WTF! 2+2 IS CRAP

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03-29-2007 , 01:34 AM

#17

brad3

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 318

I watch American Idol, The Hills and The Girls Next Door.

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03-29-2007 , 01:34 AM

#18

ddubois

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 7,696

Quote:

This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

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03-29-2007 , 01:35 AM

#19

Lurker.

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,514

Quote:

This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

were you playing omaha?

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03-29-2007 , 01:36 AM

#20

adanthar

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 20,109

Quote:

This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

very nice

more almost but not quite (bbv4l) forum drama

Quote:

I goto the same school ipot went to hs at, and I have a class with girl1. She was talking to two of her friends ( they all sit behind me ) and i heard girl1 talk about how "well hung" ipot was. Had to get it out there. And he is also holding out on bbv. He has naked pics of girl99, share?

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03-29-2007 , 01:42 AM

#21

onthebutton

Harbinger of Boobies

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 4,203

Quote:

LOL post or ban.

Grim robbed at gunpoint?

This thread rules.

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03-29-2007 , 01:43 AM

#22

kkcountry

BBV MS Paint Rapid Response Squad

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 31,263

less jopke confessions, more anonymous ones

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03-29-2007 , 01:44 AM

#23

shaundeeb

Augie's stunt double

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 16,232

Quote:

I watch American Idol, The Hills and The Girls Next Door.

nothing gay about the last 2 the first one meh.

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03-29-2007 , 01:44 AM

#24

Neuge

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,992

Quote:

lmao ipot emailing you isn't anonymous.

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03-29-2007 , 01:48 AM

#25

adanthar

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 20,109

Here we go, this is more like it

Quote:

throway email, so don't bother trying to trace.. I post semi-regularly in
bbv.

I'm a man, married a while, and my wife and I do dominant/submissive sex
with me being sub. She dog collars me, light bondage, spanks me, I dress in
her undergarmets and she SIIMP with a strap on, calls me a whore, [censored] etc.

It's actually done wonders for our sex life since I confessed this fantasy
recently. We don't do this everytime, but occasionally.

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