One time I shat my pant in public

I had dirty ass all the way home.

oh no gary

savage

I read entire thread. good read

My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and ****. At around 1 am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend ****ing this girl in my basement. What do I do? I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that **** to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the ~three minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. My buddy ended up having "the best ****ing time ever bro" but jesus there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land,
A young Prince lived in a shining castle.
Although he had everything his heart desired,
The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.
But then, one winter's night,
An old beggar woman came to the castle
And offered him a single rose In return for shelter from the bitter cold.
Repulsed by her haggard appearance,
The Prince sneered at the gift,
And turned the old woman away.
But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances,
For Beauty is found within.
And when he dismissed her again,
The old woman's ugliness melted away
To reveal a beautiful Enchantress.
The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late,
For she had seen that there was no love in his heart.
And as punishment,
She transformed him into a hideous beast,
And placed a powerful spell on the castle,
And all who lived there.
Ashamed of his monstrous form,
The beast concealed himself inside his castle,
With a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world.
The Rose she had offered,
Was truly an enchanted rose,
Which would bloom until his twenty-first year.
If he could learn to love another,
And earn her love in return
By the time the last petal fell,
Then the spell would be broken.
If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast
For all time.
As the years passed,
He fell into despair, and lost all hope,
For who could ever learn to love... A Beast?

This is true friendship; really heartwarming!

I like how Gary got caught having a wank and he made up a story to make it sound like he was doing someone a favor.

in epic bread

Gary killing it in this thread

I smoke rocks

tell me more

I take the soda
I take the blow
I heat em both together
and now you know

omg

mrmmmmk will be sad

shhhhhh af

I once blew my load early

I once blew my load, surely.

I once blew my load in Shirley.

Surely, I once blew my load early, in Shirley.

Surely, I once blew my load early, in Shirley, from Surrey.

When I was in Thailand I got a pretty bad case of runny bottom. I was on the ****ter for ages and each time I thought it was over another blast of caramel milkshake would explode out of my hole.
My mate was also feeling rather sick and needed to puke, he had been waiting for me to finish in the bathroom. He already has options, he could have used the waste bin or out the window into the garden, but no, he decides to burst into the bathroom.
I am not very happy about sitting there naked with liquid **** dripping from my hole and started yelling at him to **** off. He has already started puking and has his hand over his mouth and a pit of puke running down his arm. Again is is confronted with options. 1, puke in the sink, 2 puke in the shower or 3 puke on the naked fat man sitting on the ****ter. He goes with option 3 by removing his hand from his mouth and projectile vomiting in the general direction of the toilet.
I am not very happy about this situation at all and start screaming at him to **** off and get out of the bathroom which wakes up our other mate who decides to enter the bathroom to find out what all the commotion is about.
He walks in yelling what are you ****s on about, spots me covered in puke, starts laughing uncontrollably at me covered in puke and slips over in a puddle of puke.

^lol

runny bottom

So this one time in band camp...not really

I was really in the 4th grade and at the time I would often go multiple days without taking a proper dump.
I was too embarrassed to do it at school and right after school we went to a babysitters house where I was also embarrassed.
By the time we got home it was often nearly bedtime so I just held it in a lot.

In school if you got done with certain work faster than everyone else you would be "rewarded"with getting to
go outside by yourself and dust the erasers on the side of the building. Teach certainly learned from watching
Tom Sawyer Im sure. So on this day I am dusting erasers and decided to run backwards on way back to class,I tripped
and fell and Uh oh spahgetioos , I took a nice sized dump in my drawers.

I walked to babysitters house with the load and since I had done some sitting it was kinda squashed flatish.

Over the next several hours I would "use the bathroom to pee" , what I was really doing was scraping off the poo a little at
a time. After a while the babysitter was wondering why I had to pee so much, I just made some excuse about
drinking too much juice in school.
Later, Not wanting to flush the toilet to alert babysitter I scraped off some of the poo into the sink.

Well in this sink they happened to be handwashing a couple pair of underwear from the families youngest son they called BooBoo ironically. Some time later the older son, Tommy, came home and mentioned how much the bathroom stunk. THe babysitter said
she is washing Boo Boos underwear and could Tommy just finish and hang them up.

I remember Tommy saying out loud "Damn Boo Boo you stink" while finishing the hand wash job, the baby sitter never saw the poo so BooBoo got blamed by Tommy for the whole thing.