I think I need some help, since my alternative to online grinding is committing suicide.

For the past eight years or so I've been living off online poker, mostly as a SnG player. There is no comparison to what my life looked back then to what it is now. I used to be able to keep pace for SNE, now I'm at the bottom just waiting for the final blow. I never had any backers or stakers since I didn't want to play with other people's money, which means I tried it all on my own and failed. As for the learning curve, I hardly hear anything new to me no matter how much material I study. I do know online poker is doomed with all the cheating and software that basically plays the game instead of the players. Meanwhile I'm just helplessly watching my hands get cracked in bizzare fashion over and over again and asking myself what did I do to deserve this.

The thing is, I do not want to do anything else with my life. But who needs another grinder, right? I did try to go back to my old school and finish it, but they are very reluctant to take me back since I've been away for so long. So now I'm spending my time here in my room crying and waiting to get my hands on sleeping pills so I can end it all. I guess I deserve it, for one reason or another.


But who cares, right?

Are you guys sticking with this ship or are you smarter than that and jumped out a long time ago?

I think you need to see someone to talk through all of this. And that's not a slight at you, people deal with all kinds of BS and occasionally need to see someone just to start feeling better.

Move to an area with multiple,relatively new casinos (philly/Baltimore) and grind lil tourneys and 1/2. Lots of fish.

Make money. See a new city. Try meeting new people that seem positive.

Don't kill yourself.

Come on bro get it together. Suicide is not the solution. Online poker can be very cruel and isn't that easy to beat anymore. Find something else that makes you happy.

real life is it's own SNG structure. figure out the ICM and put in volume and you will do fine

why limit yourself to the segregated player pool that is poker when you can be crushing a game with more percentage of fish than poker ever had

I care. I would be deeply disturbed if I learned that you died the next time I check 2+2.

Do you have live play options in your area? The online game is getting pretty ****ed right now, many of my fellow live grinders who were profitable 3 years ago are breaking even or worse these days. I don't think that there is widespread cheating going on but to think that these games are 100% on the level (player cheating, I don't think the sites are in on it unlike so many people on this site) would be completely foolish.

Take a few days off, center yourself, and get back on the horse. If you quit playing you'll never lose again, but you will also never win.

OP suicide is not the answer to any of life's problems, and not being able to succeed at online poker is a very small problem to have in the scheme of things. I suggest speaking to someone that is an expert in this field (there are plenty of professionals out there that can help you through your issues).

I'm going to lock this thread as no one here is a professional to help you deal with the issues you are going through and I don't want anyone to troll it.

Best of luck. You have the support of everyone here