201 hands, I was put on the cooler 35 or so hands in. I'll tell you what triggered it and you can see the results for yourself.


.2/.5 cash, 9 seat Feb 11

Some stats for the session:
201 hands dealt
Saw the flop 33 times out of 201(16%) and you're about to find out why that's so low
5 in bb
6 in SB
22 other
Pots won at showdown - 6 out of 10(60%)
Pots won without showdown - 23
I was mucked to in the BB 9 times. So I won 20 out of 33 hands I actually played.
__________________________________________________ _____________

I'm a guy who takes flops 30% of the time normally. I like to see flops unless I'm on a cooler and I know all I'm going to do is lose. Despite the cooler I managed to win 20 out of 33 flops I saw. Many just by pure betting muscle, not cards. Below are the cards I got in order from when I sat down to when I checked out at 201 hands. If you don't believe me and you think I'm making all this up, because I like spending hours and hours just to punk people, I shot screen capture video of my info box that shows all the stats and every hand I played and mucked. I'll post it somewhere if you simply must see it.

Just before I got started I busted out of the Big $3.30. Caught three or 4 suck outs in a row about 200 before the bubble. Had my money in ahead every time. Just typical Pokerstars.... Anyway, it doesn't start out too bad, but eventually I find myself on the cooler. I knew as soon as it happened. I'll show you where and how it happened. I even told everybody when it happened in the chat I was being coolered and not to expect me to play too many hands from now on. I do that kind of thing out of frustration now and again. First hand at the table before the cooler, K9 suited, not bad, caught a flush, won.

K9s, 82, q8s, T3, 72, KQ, 24s, T4, 53, A2, A8, A8, A2, 79, A5, Q6, AKs, K5, 23,T4,82,AT,AK,J3,33.73,K6,KT

I get dealt 5 hands with 2 cards jack or higher in the first 31 hands. I was up maybe 1/3 a buy in. I'll play 170 more hands and get 9 more. 1/3 of them I lose outright, 1/3 I have the nuts, 1/3 I just bluff the other guy off. Because I'm cooler tight everybody is afraid I have a monster when I do play.

The cooler starts here:

(KK,94,T7,KJ,K4s,A6,75,76,J6)

That's where it started, what triggerd the cooler. I won a decent pot with pocket kings. Then I played a whole bunch of muck hands back to back for various reasons. I played almost every hand in that stretch, except the 75. I was in good position, the raisers were weak and folded a lot post flop, BB was a folder to any raise, connectors are always my weakness, it was cheap to get in. I had my reasons. I think I lost them all. That's when the cooler started. Pokerstars saw me play a bunch of weak hands in a row, 94, T7, K4, A6, 75, 76, J6. I played them pretty crazy, calling bets and bluffing with air. Pokerstars then knows I'll play with any worthless hand it deals me and happily bleed my chips off to everybody, and most importantly to their rake. It's all about the rake. They know I'm a good pot builder and rake earner for them when I get a little wild with muck hands. I knew I was taking a chance while I was doing it. I always get put on the cooler when I do that. In the past sometimes I didn't know when to quit. I'd just keep playing right into the cooler for hours and hours. It wasn't five or 6 hands later I knew they'd done it to me. This isn't the first time I've seen it. I've seen it many times. This is what comes next when you're on the cooler at Pokerstars... I start out flopping a big fat zero with AQ suited and lose about 8BB. That's the first sign the cooler is on.

AQsLOSER,35,64,AT,24,QQ,78,K6,86,A5.33,54,65s,95,T9,94,52,J4,95,AT,J5,84, K3,54,Q7s,K6,87,J4,A4,T4,K3,64,T6,A4s,J7 KJ

Since losing with the Ace Queen suited, I have had 2 hands containing 2 cards higher than a Jack in the previous 30 hands. We continue with another K3, watch how often that worthless hand gets dealt to me. We're now up to 3 in 30 hands.

K3,52,J9,kJs,J9, J5,J7,J3,86s,T8s,K5,A6,T6,93,33,83,AK LOSER,Q6,QJs,92,A6,54s,73,83.62,Q2,99,84,78,42,73,K7,T6,T6,QT, K6,
67,K4,J5,A2,J3,J3,T3,63,T4,63,73,A5,AT,75,72,24,Q3 ,T7,Q7,J4,62,A6,AQ LOSER

So I lose with AK, the only time I see ever see it. Pick up a small pot with QJ then go 40 straight muck hands before losing with AQ again. Then go 61 straight hands never seeing better than a pair of 8's. Which I might have muscled somebody off with, or lost I can't remember. It was a bad stretch. I think I was watching funny cat videos on you tube most of the time, wouldn't you? It continues, I go another 62 hands and finally catch a pair of Jacks...

Q2,96,74,K5,K9,T6,T2,86,95s,82,Q8,84,Q6,74,93,92,7 7,T5,Q5,J2,K2,T6,Q6,QT,J6,Q3,T6,85,T8s,J6,J5,JT,88 ,72,KT,J2,T3,Q4,92,64s,T3,Q7,T9,T5s,94,JT,94,T2,22 ,97s,Q2,47,K3,Q5s,T2s,K3,Q4,92,A7,A8,62,JJ,83,JJ,K5,J6,99,82

Finally pick up a couple of pairs of pocket jacks. I think I flopped trips the second time. That was the high point of the cooler, I got back about even and time to go.

The odds of being dealt 2 cards Jack and higher is 10 to 1 in real poker. On the Pokerstars cooler... 19 to 1. And this particular cooler was probably a little better than most. Everything else loses, and even the good hands lose most of the time. That's what it's like to be on the cooler. Only because I begin to show incredible muck discipline do I get dealt anything at all. If I'd have kept on playing J4. I'd have been dealt 50 J4's. It will deal you whatever muck hand you keep playing and losing with.

Some common hands I saw lots of while on the cooler:

When you're on the cooler you'll see the same muck hands over and over again. It's like muck Twilight Zone. That's one of the ways you can tell. Here are a few of them. I was dealt AK once while on the cooler and lost with it. I was dealt T6 seven times, K3 five times, 92, four times, J6 four times, and a host of J/345s K3 is always a good indicator you're on the cooler. When you see that one over and over, you're being coolered. It's one of the hands that always seems to show up by the basket full. You never get AQ five times when you're on the cooler, and if you did, all five would lose anyway. That's what it's like to be on the cooler for those of you who might not have had the pleasure of experiencing it for yourself. If I'm not careful, I'm on it every day. Just because I want to play a little bit loose at times. Do yourself a favor, don't ever do that at Pokerstars.

You don't know what a cooler is.

This thread has been nominated by the overlords to be a Did Not Read GIF Thread, cos no one is gonna read that.

If you read all of that you are a reading prodigy.

They pay mods well now.

Raking in the moolah modding a poker forum, nicely done/

lol, not ****ing reading that

People are always asking me why I believe online poker is rigged. You don't want to read it, up to you. There it is. Don't keep telling me it isn't

A cooler is any hijinks that ensures you lose a hand. Classically, it's the river Ace that wrecks your kings 25 times in a row. But that's no the only type. Being dealt 72, 25 times in a row is also a cooler.

You learned something new already.

You described anatomy of a tilt monkey.

"The term “cooler” refers to when you are dealt a very strong hand in poker only to be up against an opponent with an even better hand. Usually there is no way you can avoid getting away from the hand in situations like these."

https://www.pokerdictionary.net/

I really want to know whats going on but TLDR
Can someone sum up why OP is being autistic?

Short version: Play with muck hands, Pokerstars will deal you nothing but muck hands.

You're my new favourite poster OP.

No, I already knew that you didn't know what a cooler was.

And lol if you think that was a bad run of cards.

I once had a GF that ran away due to my coke habit, is that a cooler?

This cooler is way cooler than your cooler.

BUT WHAT ABOUT IT'S ANATOMY???
How many bones does this cooler have?

Fid is on point itt btw, only cooler in this thread is the one posted by Sheep

I have found that “People are always asking me...” is another way of saying “Something I won’t shut up about even though nobody else has shown any interest is...”

So the definition of a cooler is winning with pocket Kings and then overplaying a bunch of weak hands and losing with them, and then blaming somebody else for it?

Anatomy of a cooler?

Check this bad boy out.

I wanna bang ur sister Op

Yeah, it’s a weird delusion that isn’t made any less weird by posting a fairly normal range of hands as evidence.