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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 11-14-2009, 12:26 PM   #26
CharlieBeagle2
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Your not a very friendly person are you OP?
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Old 11-14-2009, 12:47 PM   #27
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

But how much did you loose?
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:10 PM   #28
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quote:
Originally Posted by harddeterminism View Post
noobs are just curious dude. Yeah they don't understand poker, that's why they ask. Sure there are dumb questions, but there are dumb questions associated with any job. Think about the **** u ask taxi drivers on your way to and from the bars. I think ur just being an elitist ahole.
this pretty much. not everyone understands online poker, heck most don't. as long as they're not being bigoted or condescending there's no reason to be a douche yourself.
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:16 PM   #29
bagclip2007
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

god do i hate being asked about poker lol
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:25 PM   #30
Erik1337
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

me: OK I won.
noob: How much?
me: $xxxx
noob: But how much did you lose?

this made me lol
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:31 PM   #31
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

A+

I'm going to print this and keep copies around. Seriously.
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:13 PM   #32
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Why does everyone ask these questions? Some ppl have never gambled and they still come up with these ideas?

Example:
PPL: How much did you win at the casino tonight?
Me: $500
PPL: But how much did you buy-in?
Me: $200
PPL: So you cashed out $500 and your net profit is $300?
Me: NO! I cashed out $700 so my net profit is $500.

Example (They have some idea about poker and staking):
PPL: I will stake you $100 and you can try to run it up to $100K. I will give you 50% of the winnings.
Me: I have enough money. I don't need your stake.
PPL: Why? I am giving you 50% of the winnings, thats like 50K.
Me: If you want to stake me, stake me $100K. Stake me an amount that I need to play higher stakes.
PPL: I will stake you $100 first. When you make $200K, i will continue to stake you with my $100K profit.
Me: **** off

Example ("Ex professional gamble"):
(After I finally convinced her I win at poker)
*****: You shouldn't gamble, because its not safe.
Me: Why?
*****: The casinos are operated by mobs.
Me: Most of them are not. Even if they are, they would not risk doing anything illegal.
*****: Do you have protection?
Me: No, why would I need it?
*****: You might not be able to go home alive after you win.
Me: I only carry at max $2000 with me. I am not giving up all the money i can win just because there is a 0.0001% chance that I will get killed by it. Its like saying that you should never leave your house because its not safe.
*****: When I used to gamble, I win at least 60% of the times at blackjack, pai gow, craps, etc. When I played the lottery, I fill in a lot of dots and choose what to bet and what not to bet. I don't play the lottery where you only buy 1 ticket and cannot use your skills.
Me: The house always win, they have thousands of employees to feed. Why did you quit?
*****: I am a Christian now.
Me: A Christian probably helped you quit gambling. Why did you ask for help if you win at gambling?
*****: I lost my 3 houses, because I didn't use my skills. I just gambled on luck.
Me: ok...
(I went online and used my savings to buy casino stocks. God, I wish I have 500 millions. It must be insanely profitable to run a casino.)

Example (My dad, he caught me playing poker when I was visiting him during the summer):
Dad: I will send FBI an email. I am reporting pokerstars to them.
Me: You don't even know how to send them an email.
Dad: Yes I do, I have sent them an email before.
Me: They are a multi-billion dollar business. Even if they are operated by a mob, they won't do anything illegal to throw away their business.
Dad: I am sending the email. The agents will close down their business.
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:29 PM   #33
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quote:
noob: I don't understand how you can make money at it though.
me: Because you're an idiot. Luckily many other idiots exist in the world and they put money online and lose it to me playing poker.
I LOL'ed right about here.
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:39 PM   #34
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

7 stars
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:39 PM   #35
Anderson Paixao
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

lol'd

5 stars
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:42 PM   #36
enty
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

solid OP
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Old 11-14-2009, 02:54 PM   #37
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quote:
Originally Posted by isaacicic View Post

Example (My dad, he caught me playing poker when I was visiting him during the summer):
Dad: I will send FBI an email. I am reporting pokerstars to them.
Me: You don't even know how to send them an email.
Dad: Yes I do, I have sent them an email before.
Me: They are a multi-billion dollar business. Even if they are operated by a mob, they won't do anything illegal to throw away their business.
Dad: I am sending the email. The agents will close down their business.
lol gold.

Can you imagine if the one receiving the email is the one guy at the FBI who has never heard of online poker/gambling and what his reaction would be?
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Old 11-14-2009, 03:12 PM   #38
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

lol, everyone's got one of those ' i know someone' story..

Quote:
noob: *ignores me* My uncle so-and-so had a "system" and he ended up getting into debt and losing his house. My auntie divorced him and now he sleeps on our sofa and works in Burger King 45 hours a week.
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Old 11-14-2009, 03:32 PM   #39
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

lol A+
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Old 11-14-2009, 03:35 PM   #40
DjSkyy
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

i've seen this, and contributed to this, before!
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Old 11-14-2009, 03:54 PM   #41
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

I so agree with this thread... hate those questions.

"how much did u win?"
"$$$$"
"but how much did u lose?"

This happend to me like 4 times... makes me a bit tilted
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Old 11-14-2009, 04:27 PM   #42
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quality stuff man!!
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Old 11-14-2009, 06:09 PM   #43
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee99 View Post
lol, everyone's got one of those ' i know someone' story..
I was on the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh with AMT who was visiting and we were talking about poker. There was this old couple sitting opposite us that just butted their way into our conversation.

old man: you know that stuff you're talking about?
me: pardon?
old man: that gambling, that mad gambling stuff, you want to stay clear of that!
us: yeah ok, thanks!

you could see the dissaproving look on their old faces. so tilting having these fools look down on us.

old man: it will ruin your life, tell them Helen.

then his old wife starts talking about how their son lost all his money gambling, lost his house and marriage etc. he's having to rebuild his life blah blah blah

we just try to end the conversation politely and the old man is like "well just you be very careful, thats all im saying, you don't want to end up like our son"

me: thanks we'll try to be careful
old man: because you know, it's all fixed on the computers
me: yeah i know, it's totally rigged
old man: thats right, you will never win if you keep playing. The casino always comes out on top.

I'm just starting to agree with him now because we are stuck sitting next to these fools for another 20 minutes and don't want to have a debate/argument with people that are so aggressive with their views and self righteous.

He doesn't shut up though "you need to stop, there are people that you can talk to if you're addicted" and at that point I get up and go to the bathroom (I didn't need to go) and selfishly leave AMT there with the old couple.
I'm standing in the bathroom laughing my ass off for 10 minutes at how he must think I'm a dick for leaving him alone in a foreign country on a train with 2 people giving him a lecture about how he's a degen gambler.

I come back and he's changed the conversation to soccer. Sick sick skills there considering that all he knew about scottish football were the names of a couple of teams. So that was pretty good and they didn't talk about gambling for the rest of the trip.

As we're getting off the train though the old man shouts across to us
"Remember to be careful with that gambling now!" lol
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Old 11-14-2009, 06:18 PM   #44
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Nice job.
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Old 11-14-2009, 06:21 PM   #45
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

lol...multiple times. just lol...pretty sure this sums it up for all of us.
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Old 11-14-2009, 07:11 PM   #46
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

Quote:
Originally Posted by theichimaru View Post
haha this post was long but quite nice. Next time, threadsavers plz
BBV definitely the wrong place for this Daleroxxu - you need to move up to where they respect your posts.

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Old 11-14-2009, 07:16 PM   #47
David123
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

excellent post, and the cat made it A+, the trailor trash kinda was a letdown. but i guess all the young guns liked it.
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Old 11-14-2009, 07:17 PM   #48
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

very good thread OP
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Old 11-14-2009, 08:31 PM   #49
Mackenzieee
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

read it all..funny stuff..nice post
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Old 11-14-2009, 08:33 PM   #50
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Re: 10 questions not to ask me about poker (beat: the stupid questions people ask me)

can someone please make this into a webpage so I can copy and paste a link to a friend when they ask a dumb question?
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