Quote:
Originally Posted by DonJuan
My insecure is make worse by the fact that I know people only tolerate my spaz because I crush.
I believe we were friends when you didn't crush. Having met maybe a hundred (hundreds) of people who around here, most folks are really decent people. People tolerate other people, because they're mostly nice. Your results are yours. Don't compound sadness about results with thinking about loss of friends. Real folks are real, no matter how the poker goes.
Quote:
In order to be efficient you need a good study method and also test your theory by getting in not just a few common spot but at least +100 different spot from btn vs bb, bvb, sb vs btn. Also head up is important but some of Euro guys are able to skip. They probably worked out a more efficient method than me to learn since I suck at pot odd and now I change my mind about alpha-1 defense since it seem to be quite important on River. So now I have to relearn more throughly.
Efficiency is a trap, imo. You spend so much time thinking about the "best" way that you miss out on "any way that works". I had a really good martial arts coaches who put it this way, "You are where you are. Everyone starts somewhere. Some people are really talented. Some have related backgrounds. However, you are you. You just do one day at a time to get better. If that makes you happy, you win." One of them was on two olympic teams, so maybe she ran really well? Or solid pro?
Quote:
I keep on questioning and testing my skill against anyone that would play me head up and or any table that pop up on bodog.
If that brings you joy, sure. You're a pro, trying to make money to put bread on the table. If that's your plan for doing that well, I wish you luck. In my 50 trips around the sun, I can tell you the word "should" brings a disproportionate amount of misery. If that's your path do it. If it isn't, fine. The idea of should be doing? That's confusion and despair.
Quote:
Also getting my ass kick when I start playing live help so much. Some of the most demoralizing time driving home +1.5 hour after getting crush for +12 session. I have to build up new mental representation for live plays. And force me to work deeper on the “tree” instead of the “forest”.
You have to play better than most live players. You have years and years of strong results against tough competition. There may be some spots where everyone (but you?) knows that Player X doesn't have skill Y in his game, so you don't have to... Also, going nuts over 300-500 hand samples? You know way better than that. You can run bad for more hands than that. You can run like the sun for 10's of thousands. Go run like the sun for 40 hours live and report back.