The situation from the home front is worse than I thought. I asked if I could see the web guy's code. Oh, said management, he hasn't done any code.
wtf? I asked. He's been working on the front page for over two weeks and he doesn't have any code yet?
I told the management that the way the code stands right now, there is absolutely no way in hell he can work with it. He sent us another home page that he apparently rendered in MSPaint. I told the manager that a real developer would have looked at the code and told you this was nuts, that he has to build from scratch, and that it would take a special kind of psycho to attempt to extend a tabled web PAGE of 1000 lines, much less do it for a whole site, add PHP, fix the JS.
Of course, our hero is going to make the site really pretty by adding some fairy dust to the CSS.
During lunch, I printed out the current source code for the home page. I didn't actually. I stopped the printer because you know, if I print out 1000 lines of code, I'll empty the paper tray. I figured I had enough to circle the mistakes.
I began examining the code, still during lunch, and I became so pissed, so angry, so viscerally upset, that I began to tear up. The notes began to look like the rantings of a lunatic. So after doing this, I didn't have time to eat and I clocked back in 10 minutes late.
My only option at this point is go to complete ******* mode. The next meeting is tomorrow and I am going to talk to this guy like a developer, but dumbed down enough that everyone around can see how hopeless he is.
I'm not lying when I say this site is the absolute worse pile of steaming **** I ever seen on a website. When I thought I seen it all, this ****ing site conveniently leads to 404s all over the place, fails, crashes, loads slow, and according to the guy we have now: the problems with the JS are because of browser issues. Of course, if he actually looked at the garbage excuse for code, he would know that it is all done in jQuery.
A few highlights:
Code:
.urbangreymenu .headerbar{
font: normal 11px arial;
color: white;
line-height:220%;
background: transparent ; /*last 2 values are the x and y coordinates of bullet image*/
margin:0px; /*bottom spacing between header and rest of content*/
text-transform: none;
padding: 0px 0 3px 0px; /*31px is left indentation of header text*/
}
See if you can't guess where this one's going:
Code:
$('a.jt:eq(1)').cluetip({
local: true, hideLocal: true,
positionBy: 'fixed',
cluetipClass: 'jtip',
arrows: false,
dropShadow: false,
hoverIntent: false,
sticky: true,
mouseOutClose: true,
closePosition: 'bottom'
// closePosition: 'title'
// closeText: '<img src="images/cross.png" alt="close" />'
});
$('a.jt:eq(2)').cluetip({
local: true, hideLocal: true,
positionBy: 'fixed',
cluetipClass: 'jtip',
arrows: false,
dropShadow: false,
hoverIntent: false,
sticky: true,
mouseOutClose: true,
closePosition: 'bottom'
// closePosition: 'title'
// closeText: '<img src="images/cross.png" alt="close" />'
});
$('a.jt:eq(3)').cluetip({
local: true, hideLocal: true,
positionBy: 'fixed',
cluetipClass: 'jtip',
arrows: false,
dropShadow: false,
hoverIntent: false,
sticky: true,
mouseOutClose: true,
closePosition: 'bottom'
// closePosition: 'title'
// closeText: '<img src="images/cross.png" alt="close" />'
});
Did anyone guess 10? 15?
Still shot too low:
Code:
$('a.jt:eq(21)').cluetip({
local: true, hideLocal: true,
positionBy: 'fixed',
cluetipClass: 'jtip',
arrows: false,
dropShadow: false,
hoverIntent: false,
sticky: true,
mouseOutClose: true,
closePosition: 'bottom'
// closePosition: 'title'
// closeText: '<img src="images/cross.png" alt="close" />'
});
I don't have the patience or the time to pretty the markup to semi-readable form, but if you expected that the tables are loaded with nbsp and <br> to help format it more, plus include a bunch of classes and ids that don't exist anywhere withing 500 servers of the site, then you are only about half-way.
Here's how the images are done within the HTML:
[code]
<img href=www.theSite.com/somewhereElse/somewhereElse/subPageSectionX/page215/"
/>
[code]
It should be loudly apparent to anyone with minimal knowledge of site building or programming how bad this is going to get after reading the first few lines of the actual page:
Code:
<html>
<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> <title>[][][][][][][][][][][][]</title> <meta name="Description" content="InvidMedia - MyEcommerce - Design, Development, DataManagement, Deployment InvidMedia - MyEcommerce - Design, Development, DataManagement, Deployment"/> <meta name="Keywords" content="Invidmedia, Design, Development, DataManagement, Deployment, Open Source, PHP, MySQL, Oracle, Web Design, Web Development,, Invidmedia, Design, Development, DataManagement, Deployment, Open Source, PHP, MySQL, Oracle, Web Design, Web Development,"/> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"/>
If you can't guess, our company has no dealings with Oracle, PHP, opensource, or anything remotely relating to these topics. SEO for the win?
