Those aren't that sophisticated and really only have the ability to fake manners, which is so easy adult humans can do even do it.

I went out to eat oysters the evening before. I felt some mild stomach clenching, as though I’d eaten bad food and was about to suffer from diarrhea or vomiting. But rather than either of those happening, the clenching feeling continued to worsen. It’s a spasming feeling that comes and goes in increasing intensity. After about ninety minutes, I figured I had a problem of some kind and drove home. That was an effort of pure will.

After I got home it got steadily worse until I was manic. Couldn’t sit, couldn’t stand, was sweating from pain. Shower didn’t help in the slightest, so we eventually called 911. Ambulance showed up fast. I was barely able to tell the EMTs what was going on. Pain 10/10, worse than herniated discs. I was at times entirely insensate and uncontrollably screaming.

Triage at ER was quick and doc figured it to be a kidney stone. IV morphine ensued, and I was fine after that hit me. Mrs. Treesong complained at me for being an ass to the hospital administrator that asked me the same question for he fourth time, which I was. So I decided to get the CAT scan techs laughing by telling them dirty jokes, which I did.

Morphine and Percocet calmed down the spasms and i peed the thing out two days later with no pain. End of story.

And a great story it is! And let us all Thank the Lord for Opiates/Opioids. Life would be so dull and painful without them.

Long story short Masque; it starts by you thinking that it's finally happening. Ends on drugs. Like any good story.

Many of my stories have gone in the opposite direction.

Ouch.


Sharks.
https://youtu.be/OZ5kXgYW5cE

Not looking forward to uncontrollably screaming curses about the universe (probably i will select string theory as target of choice) but i bet it beats giving birth in intensity. We need to get brave and braver and much braver damn it. We were not born for it. There is a small nonzero probability it wont happen but 10/10 will make anyone asking 4 times the same question easy target.

But at least you have a war story now minus the actual life threatening risk! I bet with enough pain anyone can turn into ok i dont want to be here any more mode! New torture ideas come to mind...

Better investigate ultrasounds etc or better other things to introduce in the future that will slowly dissolve them before they become a problem. tick tack...

I keep reserve Percocet and oxycodone nearby for when the next one hits, if it does. Part of the problem was that I had no idea what was going on. But yeah, on 10/10 pain, you could ask me what I thought of Masque de Z four times and you’d get the following four answers: “masque who?”; “best poster ever”; “insane lefty but I love him anyway”; and “pithy.”

I've decided to use the verb "retribute" in a sentence sometime this month.


PairTheBoard

If you play live then you will have many opportunities.

Women who have had both given natural childbirth and had kidney stones claim that childbirth is not a big deal by comparison.

To give you some color on it, the part where you pee out a bunch of spikey rocks isn't the bothersome part.

When you clean a vacuum you become a vacuum cleaner.

The world would be a better world if it was the same as it is but without kidney stones. Voltaire would agree.

I'm trying to win back a girl I eventually ended up embarrassing by getting smashed and acting like an idiot. I was reminded that, unlike others I need to stay away from the top shelf.

Alcohol is a curse if you don't respect its power.

You can't win her back Mac. Her frame of reference towards you has been forever tweaked. Best is to start over with a new girl.

Alcohol is the perfect drug, the difficult part is getting the doseage just right.

Is megalomania better than sex? (I want a few SMP'ers opinion on this dazzling question)

This is turning out to be the case.
So i resorted to reversing the psychology, which did seem to work, but only for a small while.

Back in the 70's we had a doctor that made house calls. My father woke up in screaming agony in the middle of the night and the doctor came over, said 'kidney stone', gave him a shot of morphine and loaded up another and left it on the night table saying 'he'll probably need another' which I had to give him a few hours on and I found it really hard to stick in. Nowadays that could never happen.

Anyway, he passed it the next afternoon and commented 'now I know why there are drug addicts.'

BLAH.........

for my many anonymous friends:

My head hurts

Have you got your head stuck in a cupboard?

Up the dosage.

Zeno, your advice is wise, but I fear it will go over his head. What he needs to do is find a girl who appreciates his special brand of idiocy.

That would have been nearly impossible, if I remember correctly.* I was the amount drunk that makes one believe that "playing Connect Four would be fun" is a possibly true statement.

*the second clause is merely implausible.

That rings a bell

This is beautiful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKDXuCE7LeQ

I'm frightened that no one who will take care of me in my waning years will realize what I need.

...for my many anonymous friends: