Two Plus Two Publishing LLC Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Sporting Events Discussion centered around sporting events.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-22-2013, 12:10 AM   #52351
kkcountry
BBV MS Paint Rapid Response Squad
 
kkcountry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: dimichele ripped
Posts: 31,249
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

RIVERMAN IS ALIVE!!!!!
kkcountry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:17 AM   #52352
Karak
ELIte
 
Karak's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 62,729
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Karak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:21 AM   #52353
ut2010
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ut2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Religion in the fack killed my soul
Posts: 38,732
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman View Post
I almost quit 2+2. Let's face it, 50k posts on a ****ing internet forum, most of which were spent either arguing with bigoted pimple-faced reason-allergic dumb****s who jerk off to the thought of shooting a home invader (Neblis, DBJtoolbag) or cheering for doomed sports bets while complaining about referees, is pathetic. But I started this stupid thread, which is really just more evidence of how ****ing stupid posting 50k times over 10 years on a goddamn internet message board is, so I may as well finish it. I had an absolutely miserable time in Las Vegas. I lost at everything, got jealous of my wealthy, successful friends, had very little fun and got stuck between fat smelly people everywhere. (Seriously, its absurd, and must be karma for me being such an *******. I can predict who I will be sitting next to on a plane before anyone even ****ing boards). So here goes, if you have schadenfreude this is the trip report for you.

Yeah, I got that window seat in the first row. After the picture a solid 750 pounds of disgusting fatness filled up the other two seats. The guy in the middle seat actually tried to raise the ****ing armrest to make more room for his fat to spill over onto me. Uh, no dude. He then complained to the fatty to his right as if I wasn't sitting there. STFU and eat a salad bro. I then tried to get drunk on the plane, which failed because the stewardess was too busy reading 50 Shades of Grey to stand up and offer anyone more drinks. So I read this article, cried on a ****ing plane to Las Vegas, and fell asleep.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2...1fa_fact_keefe

I get picked up by my friend at the airport and am immediately reminded of what a failure I am. He is driving a car that cost him more than the sum of my adult earnings. He is 2 years older than me, makes at least several million dollars a year, and is seriously contemplating retiring to try to play professional golf. As he asks me what I'm doing with my life, the condescension oozes from his lips. I know he's either making fun of me in his head or not paying attention at all, and I'm not sure which pisses me off more.

I meet up with the rest of my friends who are equally successful if not equally wealthy, and we go play golf. When we stop for lunch I buy beer to drink on the course and I get the distinct impression they think this is classless. Fellas you're not at Cypress Point anymore, you're in Vegas. And I can see those sideways glances. We play golf, which is fine, and I actually win $20, my only win at anything the entire weekend. A fellow midwesterner suggests eating at Buffalo Wild Wings to avoid the Strip madness on a Saturday night, to which Mr. Retiring At 32 To Play Professional Golf replies "what the hell is a Buffalo Wild Wings?"

When we get back I just opt out of whatever the group is doing and go play poker at Mirage. I sit down at a 1-2 table and start grinding it out. I'm determined to win this trip since I always lose and have awkward conversations with my wife about how if I'm always on that damn poker site then how come I can't win at poker? So anyway nothing happens for a while except me wanting to punch the old guys arguing about tipping in the face. I even say "I think this is exactly what the world needs, another tipping discussion!" I am ignored. After about an hour of folding I raise AA to like 21 bucks and of course like 5 people call. Flop comes jack high and one of the old guys donks into me. Could mean set but whatever, I have AA so I shove, he calls. Turn J, River K, he tables KJ while saying "I got you crushed." Yes, indeed you do. I check my phone, see that my friends are playing blackjack and want me to come, and depart.

So despite having an average IQ of about 140 these clowns are playing the Pussycat Dolls blackjack game at Caesars, where BJ pays 6:5 and you can only double on 11, all for the pleasure of looking a clothed women dance on a pole. I briefly contemplate telling them that for what they are giving up in EV they could go to the Rhino for hours, but remember that they think I'm stupid, mumble some stuff under my breath, and STFU.

For some reason we end up at Planet Hollywood, probably because someone got word that the dealers look like strippers. They don't: they look like underage Thai hookers. Our dealer looks right out of a Travel forum trip report. I sit with $500 at BJ and lose it in 2 shoes. Betting the minimum. At a $10 table. In what will become a theme for the trip, the rest of the table points and laughs as I find new and exciting ways to lose. It was a truly incredible run, which I fully expect to replicate if and when I play blackjack again.

After that debacle I wander over to watch my other (different) millionaire friend get back to back full houses at the game where you get three cards and use the dealer's two cards. Sick life.

Dejected, I head over to poker and sit patiently in possibly the best poker game I've ever sat in. Everyone else is blackout drunk. I just sit there folding until I finally play KJ against the whole table. The flop comes QQ10 and checks through. The turn is a 9, I bet and get it in against a fat Mexican dude. Before I even know what has happened he explodes out of his seat screaming and I know I am toast. He has Q5, river was of course a 5, NH. Then a funny think happens. He starts pointing at me and laughing, hard. Then the rest of the table joins in, until literally every single person is pointing and laughing at me. Uh, ok? I stumble home, order some bad porn and go to bed.

This is ****ing long, so unless people care to hear the rest I'm gonna be done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman View Post
Sorry for not responding to you - the TR gets even worse, and I both woke up and fell asleep again (from where I left off) before seeing your text. By the time I saw it I was so mad at the world that I didn't even want to type an explanation. Go blue.
ut2010 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:22 AM   #52354
Karak
ELIte
 
Karak's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 62,729
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Karak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:26 AM   #52355
Ray Horton
banned
 
Ray Horton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: how far we done fell
Posts: 26,879
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Never gamble with friends. They're the worst.
Ray Horton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:32 AM   #52356
Biesterfield
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Biesterfield's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,039
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Trip report delivers
Biesterfield is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:35 AM   #52357
ikestoys
banned
 
ikestoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: and don't vote trump/sanders
Posts: 94,444
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Jesus
ikestoys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:38 AM   #52358
ut2010
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ut2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Religion in the fack killed my soul
Posts: 38,732
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Craps with friends can be pretty elite actually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman View Post
Before I even know what has happened he explodes out of his seat screaming and I know I am toast. He has Q5, river was of course a 5, NH. Then a funny think happens. He starts pointing at me and laughing, hard. Then the rest of the table joins in, until literally every single person is pointing and laughing at me. Uh, ok? I stumble home, order some bad porn and go to bed.
Feel bad for laughing at this part. Probably one of the more depressing TRs that didn't involve rehab or someone dying.
ut2010 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:38 AM   #52359
Ray Horton
banned
 
Ray Horton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: how far we done fell
Posts: 26,879
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Part of me feels like that TR is fiction.

Edit: Agreed on craps
Ray Horton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:40 AM   #52360
AcTiOnJaCsOn
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
AcTiOnJaCsOn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: GOAT
Posts: 24,775
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

sucks that he ran so bad, but man, riverman is very very neurotic. seemingly really sensitive to punishment and always expecting the worst. Wish him the best; hope he finds happiness.
AcTiOnJaCsOn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:42 AM   #52361
yeotaJMU
Shines ELIte's Shoes
 
yeotaJMU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: DIE JERRUH YOU DICK JUST DIE
Posts: 22,428
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

at least he has both legs

Spoiler:
yeotaJMU is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:46 AM   #52362
ut2010
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ut2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Religion in the fack killed my soul
Posts: 38,732
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

doesn't have a model girlfriend though
Spoiler:
ut2010 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:46 AM   #52363
SarcasticRat
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
SarcasticRat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sucking at Reverse Sheep
Posts: 9,774
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

That TR reads like a Kafka story or something. Especially the pointing and laughing at the end.

Last edited by SarcasticRat; 02-22-2013 at 12:46 AM. Reason: kafkaesque imo
SarcasticRat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:47 AM   #52364
Pwn_Master
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Pwn_Master's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 8,780
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Imagine there is someone in Clark's crew that could post similar trip reports. Just wanted to play fantasy football with my old friends but these *******s made the buy-in $10000.....
Pwn_Master is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:48 AM   #52365
Ray Horton
banned
 
Ray Horton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: how far we done fell
Posts: 26,879
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Pretty sure Clark was one of his friends.
Ray Horton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:51 AM   #52366
RT
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
RT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 42,933
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Reports of his death were only a little exaggerated.
RT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:54 AM   #52367
ikestoys
banned
 
ikestoys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: and don't vote trump/sanders
Posts: 94,444
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SarcasticRat View Post
That TR reads like a Kafka story or something. Especially the pointing and laughing at the end.
It reads like Holden Caulfield in the catcher in the rye to me.
ikestoys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:54 AM   #52368
Ray Horton
banned
 
Ray Horton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: how far we done fell
Posts: 26,879
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

I was thinking Dante
Ray Horton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:55 AM   #52369
tuq
TEEJ
 
tuq's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southern Hemisphere
Posts: 46,363
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Riverman,

I was the fat Mexican holding Q5o. THANKS FOR THE SUNGLASSES, FISH.
tuq is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 12:56 AM   #52370
D104
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
D104's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In a better place.
Posts: 18,272
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

LOLOLOLOLOL
D104 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 01:08 AM   #52371
pvn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ut2010 View Post
Craps with friends can be pretty elite actually.
you have to have the right type of friends
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 01:09 AM   #52372
ut2010
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ut2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Religion in the fack killed my soul
Posts: 38,732
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Tanner View Post
Reports of his death were only a little exaggerated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverman View Post
I sit down at a 1-2 table and start grinding it out. I'm determined to win this trip since I always lose and have awkward conversations with my wife about how if I'm always on that damn poker site then how come I can't win at poker?
lol
ut2010 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 01:10 AM   #52373
pvn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tuq View Post
Riverman,

I was the fat Mexican holding Q5o. THANKS FOR THE SUNGLASSES, FISH.
elite
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 01:19 AM   #52374
Dudd
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Dudd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: pm karak w/ ffb questions
Posts: 54,252
Re: SE FAQ, Liveblog and ... wat?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AcTiOnJaCsOn View Post
sucks that he ran so bad, but man, riverman is very very neurotic. seemingly really sensitive to punishment and always expecting the worst. Wish him the best; hope he finds happiness.
I mean, have you seen his posting? I would hope he'd be expecting the worst at this point, he is a Princeton graduate
Dudd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2013, 01:26 AM   #52375
Omar Comin
fantasy failure
 
Omar Comin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: hold on we're going home
Posts: 27,358
More like suicide money.
Omar Comin is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2008-2020, Two Plus Two Interactive