Originally Posted by Empire Man
+1
Rossum is a sweetheart, she's like the vice-president of student council, everybody says hi to her in the halls, she is the favorite to win Best Laugh, and she was great in Guys and Dolls, where she played one of the dolls. But towards the end of senior year when she had the two hard lemonades and you guys finally made out in the woods, well ok, you're a little bummed that she's pretty bad at kissing--it's because she doesn't really close her mouth ever and she makes her tongue dart in and out all moray eely, and also her hair smells a little like...dust? Eh it's something, but who cares, because this is Emily Rossum, her laugh is so funny and you've liked her since french class when you were partners and she wore that crimson beret, c'est formidable. She even made a flirty joke about "your baguette," so yeah two years later it is both a mild surprise and a bummer now that you finally have her pinned up against a bunch of bark and you have slowly and even respectfully hooked your fingers in the waistband of her jeans but then suddenly she tensed up and wristblocked you? but man what did you expect, and anyway she said she's on her period. (or at least you think that's what she said; she didn't actually say the word period.)
But Olivia Munn? Hoo boy. Watch your six, because if you are brave enough to unlash yourself from the mast and somehow hook your fingers in the waistband of olivia's munn's jeans then god bless because you will be puckered in shoulder deep in T-minus whore seconds and never mind the astroglide because holy jesus it turned out she was already bleeding her whole uterus out her pussy. (happens every month; she says her period makes her horny.) (oh and she also says that astoglide is for sissies and then she spit in your mouth.)
We can all agree: thumbs up to Emily! Because: Dean's List! And: really cute when she splashed Cathy at the school car wash, those girls raised 180 dollars for Miss Clifton's retirement party! Emily Rossum is a good daughter. Olivia Munn, noooooooooo, she is not a good daughter, she's a moaning sex vampire who ruins the lives of men.
So make no mistake, this is a vote for OLIVIA MUNN. Because duh? Emily Rossum is a beloved niece and a dynamite kid sister, so as far as I can figure it, half of you are either 1) a bunch of crosseyed kin-fappers or 2) amichelle has like 200 gimmick accounts...and those are really the only two explanations. Because this is an internet contest about hot chicks, so let's not kid ourselves we are talking about MASTURBATION, we are talking about masturbating ourselves all the way until we are done, masturbatibility is the only sane standard here, and somehow, some pretty perky tease-of-the-month is winning this contest versus white hot slut Olivia Munn? Well my god. Have fun at the sock hop in pleasantville, ****os. Say hi to me on the way there, I'll be the one with starved lips in the gloam on the cold hill's side who didn't know better and never will because it was WORTH IT