CDL's just good at winning friends and influencing people when they're not punching him in the face

CDL is Dale Carnegie?!

My impression of parents ages has a lot to do with the marriage factor, I think. All my close friends are married. Of the non close friends only one is not in a serious relationship. You guys have way more single friends than I do.

When I say close friends I basically mean people who I am in contact with at least once a week on average and would feel comfortable sitting down to dinner with just the two of us rather than only knowing them in the context of larger social circles. I have 4 pretty distinct friend groups though (2 different groups of HS friends, a group of friends from undergrad, a group of friends from grad school, and three people that fit none of those categories) so its not really that big imo.

I also give these people a call or see them on their birthdays rather than using facebook. That's a pretty good proxy for how good of a friend they actually are.

Yeah, each year I get closer to 30 the amount of weddings I have to attend go up a good amount.

i didn't know that these couples existed, but now that i do i'm MAD

They're out there and I bet they burn down children hospitals in their spare time.

I didn't used to think this way, but after a lot of weddings in the last 5 years, I think it's completely fine to decline invitations to weddings.

It's important to try to go, and definitely have to go for the great friends, but a lot of people (especially in the South) get really loose with the invites. Weddings often involve some amount of travel, hotel, gift, it adds up crazy fast. And some people just get big budgets from their parents and try to rack up as many gifts as possible.

So declining invites is fine. Even for no reason other than you don't want to go. Not responding at all though makes you an *******

Declining is obviously ok for many people. I'd only travel for a few people in my life, and they're already married thankfully.

30 close friends lol

20 too many

In my limited direct exposure and experience with friends, but not people I am really close to I've seen the opposite with people from the South. Smaller weddings and tighter invite lists to keep costs down seem rampant and even at times overkill. When I hear of weddings elsewhere they always seem to be 200+ person events. The four southern weddings I have been to were all under 100 people and there were two more that my gf didn't even get a +1 to (one of which she was in) because they were trying to keep it small to save money. One of my married friends had 12 people at his wedding (all immediate family) to keep costs down. The one I went to involving families from the north (though the bride moved to KY her senior year of HS and thats where the wedding took place) had easily 400 people.

That said, weddings are fun and as long as it was in the continental US and on a weekend without another major conflict I would go to any that I was invited to.

yah i mean keeping in touch with 30 people once a week is obv lol

If you guys don't have a fair amount of close friends how do you differentiate between people you end up hanging out with once a month or so, but never invite out to dinner with a group, to watch a game, etc. and the people who you had a class with 5 years ago and talk to twice a year? Not how do you do it mentally, but how do you convey which group you're talking about in a written discussion?

i have a friend id put on the top 10 list who i talk to 3-4 times a year and only see for one day a year

id jus rank them by how much i enjoy them or would want to hang out

who has time for more than like 10 good friends

maybe stretch the list a bit with some other ones, but 10 is prob a cap

think about it this way, if you got married, are there 30 people you could ask to be a groomsman

and i mean ask them without them thinking "man this is a little weird, he must think were better friends than we are"

gchat and email chains tho. currently in 3 group chats of 6, 5, and 8 people less myself in each so 16 people and others will be in and out throughout the day. pretty much a daily occurence. gotta maintain sanity at work.

thought this was pretty normal for anyone with a desk job, but maybe thats just bc all the people I talk too are obviously doing it too.

FAQ Survey:

Who considers their wife/girlfriend/sig other their 'best friend'?

I thought about that part before and yes, I think so. I have 3 people who I would call "best friends" who would ultimately probably be my groomsmen. Anything larger than that would get really awkward. I have been 1 of 7 and 1 of 10 groomsmen in the 2 weddings my close friends have had and there is almost an expectation that I would have each of those entire groups (less one brother in the group of 10) do the same if I was to get married.

Someone I had a class with 5 years ago and talk to twice a year wouldn't even be defined as a friend to me.

She's the person I'm closest to, but wouldn't call her my best friend.

fair enough, but then what the hell do you call them? I run into this fairly frequently. Like when someone asks you if you're friends with Y you say "no, but I speak to him once in a while?" I just say yes to anyone who I have had real conversations and know some details about like where they work, went to school, who they're dating, etc. I think most people would say they are friends with Y in this situation.

I might call them a friend in that situation, but I wouldn't refer to them as that in any discussion about how many friends I have.. if that makes sense.

The wedding groove seems to be around 27-33 these days.

Acquaintance? I mean, in that actual situation irl I'm likely to just say "yes" because that conveys the relevant information, but it seems like "acquaintance" is the word you're looking for to describe these people.

yea, I was just trying to differentiate between "friends" and friends in my context. basically the crowd that you know of girlfriends and breakups, job changes, moves, home purchases, vacations, etc. before they go on facebook.