**** ME

who is this guy i wanna send him $5 on paypal

when i coached baseball, we were up 13-4 in a league game. when the bus left for the game it was 65 degrees. by gametime, it was 38 and raining (lolohio).

so anyway, we built this lead and the starters decided it was too cold and stopped playing hard, so i put in the backups. backups weren't hustling so i put the starters back in. we ended up winning 13-11 or some ****.

sooo, it's raining and it's freezing, but i made them run foul pole to foul pole (on another team's field) for 10 minutes before we got back on the bus.

when we got on the bus, in the middle of telling them why when they have a chance to crush a team they should crush them, i said, 'come on, you don't think i'm ****ing cold too?' or something like that.

4 parents called the head varisty coach and i had a sweet chat with the principal the next morning.

(i should say, it was really bad. believe it or not i was really positive as a coach, not getting that 10-run rule in the 5th because of them jogging out ground balls and no one covering 2nd on a steal and one kid refusing to even go back into the game because he was cold...ugh.)

wiper for president

president sure. coaching high school baseball again? **** no never.

parents are the WORST.

st ed's in cleveland is in the state final 4 on the regular. top 5 team in the state every year. so our varsity goes up there and loses 10-0 in 5 (and we pitched a senior who was first team all state in d-1 the year before).

my JV team wins something like 14-6 at home. i'm all pumped, running around after the game hugging kids and being jolly.

parent grabs me and says, AND I ****ING QUOTE, 'coach wiper, great win today but how come my son didn't play today, that's all i care about.'

yeah.

my high school coach had to step down from coaching because he made one throwaway comment saying we were playing like girls. Ofc some parent with a vendetta complained and somehow managed to parlay that into a big deal

parents in high school are literally the nut low man.

another story: our backup JV catcher, he was a good kid, 4.0 honors type. he could hit a little, but had the arm of an 11-year old. the only way he could throw the ball from catch to 2nd was either 30 feet in the air or on 3 hops.

so the varsity coach was telling me all along about how his parents were complaining that he wasn't playing at catcher. that he was great there when he was younger and whatnot (when they weren't allowed to steal ldo). he knew about his arm and that i was either DHing him or playing him at first.

so as we're getting on the bus to go to the game, he says, 'play him at catcher. let them run on you, then take him out.'

well that pissed me off a little b/c why the **** should i let the other team exploit that for a couple innings but whatever, he's in charge.

during warmups, i watched the other coaches when he threw the ball to 2nd. it was great, they just lit up. anyway...

so they've stolen like 6 bases and we're still in the bottom of the 2nd. after the inning is over i tell the kid that he's coming out. he starts screaming and looking at his dad and saying 'he's taking me out!'. he's literally yelling in my face that he doesn't want to come out (he's a 5'4" asian kid. i'm a 6'2" 230lb grown man) and that i'm a terrible coach.

after he let 6 straight steals go by in 2 innings.

so he throws his glove, throws his mask, and kicks over this giant garbage can. literally everyone at the field is watching.

i told him to GTF home. told his dad to get him off this field before i make him leave.

so after we get back and everyone's home, coach calls me and says to meet him at the bar. kid's parents have already called him AND the principal at the school saying that me taking him out of the game embarrassed him and that him kicking the garbage can and cussing me out was because of that.

we drank a couple beers and the head coach says, "you know what, **** him. when he comes to study table tomorrow if he says one word to you kick him off the team, i got your back'.

kid doesn't show up to the mandatory study table the next day, head coach kicks him off the team. parents complain to the principal, kid gets put back on the team only he gets "promoted" to the varsity as a scorekeeper. haha

post script: baseball banquet, kid has about 10 family members there and the head coach (i knew ahead of time) doesn't give the kid a letter for baseball. kept calling everyone up, never called his name. hahahahaha he didn't try out the following year.

but yeah man, politics and parents in high school sports are THE WORST.

high school parents confirmed WOAT

i got a letter last year from a parent of a kid telling me that she hopes my future children are mistreated --- or treated as badly as i treated her son, i forget which it was --- among other things

!!!

wait, you're a teacher nutshot?

nah

just coached hs basketball and baseball in nyc

now just a private baseball instructor fulltime

racist ban, ldo

this golf youtube is pretty elite

nutshot knows enough about teaching baseball to turn a player with bryce harper upside to a player with brandon inge upside

haha, truuu.

that said, it was like, a top 20 thirty-second moment of my life when they skipped over him in alphabetical order for varsity letters. i just watched his family's table and his face when he was all ready to stand up and go get his letter. bwwaahaha fu kid.

i've sent it to a couple different people. coach says some pretty awesome ****.

yah bro

i know man.

You're gonna make me have to cut and paste that link into the address bar? What am I, a computer scientist?

umping has got to be worse than coaching. Having to deal with those ****hole parents that stand right behind the fence at the plate bitching about every pitch was miserable. Throwing them out was kind of fun though. Im a pretty quiet guy but i always worked with this dude who was in the army and a real loudmouth..well he would show up hungover a lot (to 6 pm games) and would never want to do home. If I knew there was a team that had a lot of idiot redneck parents id sometimes force him to do homeplate to deal with them. Dude would throw somebody out almost every game and almost got into physical altercations a few times. Loved working with him.

This would be awesome to watch.

Yootoob that ****, profit!!

Should have given your avatar a call a few weeks ago.

hahahahahahahaha oh wow

Are you a 19-year-old girl?

This made me actually laugh out loud.

chocolate wine is good regardless of gender or age - as usual, lololds.

ok bro

I mean sis

Just be careful, don't spill any on your hello kitty pajamas.

i never even heard of chocolate wine