1. Holy leaden pacing, batman! Whole subplots just did nothing at all: Gordon getting captured/shot (maybe the bane reading of his Harvey dent letter landing at all would have justified it; the prison itself was SUPER whatever. Dudes chanting, the wise blind old guy who , a rope leading out of the pit that no one has thought to climb. The "court" stuff was like a joke with a decent punch line ruined by a 25 minute set up. No wait, it wasn't like that, it WAS that.

3. Speaking of plotting WTF was going on the entire last act? How does that "plan" make any ****ing sense at all.

4. Speaking of the ending, go **** yourself with that coda. Seriously. Cut to black as soon as the dude is like "the autopilot has already been repaired". Peter Jackson thinks you laid it on thick.

5. If you're Chris Nolan, maybe don't cast Marion Cotillard as crazy evil bitch since she looks like the crazy evil bitch from your last movie.

6. Bane. I was trying to figure out what the voice reminded me of, and the I was like "Who are you who is so wise in the ways of SCIENCE?" So he was a cross between MPQFTHG, the man with no face from Downton Abby, and Rumpole of the Bailey with the way he was always grabbing his collar and ****, though maybe he needed something to hold on to to hold his arms up. Barry Bonds is jealous of Tom Hardy's supplier.

7. While we're talking about Bane, the single biggest difference between this an BB/TDK was that those two films actively took on the personality of the main villain, BB being very paranoid and hallucinatory thanks to scarecrow, and TDK being all jangling ends and schizo thanks to ledger. Whatever Bane was supposed to convey, I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be oddly urbane boredom.

8. This is the second movie this year that would have been better were it more graphic. I thought the Hunger Games was overly sanitized, but this was even worse, simply because Batman done right is always the grittiest of heroes in the canon.

9. Almost all of the above could have been forgiven if the action scenes, ESPEVIALLY the fight scenes not involving Hathaway (best part of the movie AINEC, though her role and performance seemed to take place in 2 or 3 different movies than this one) had been worth a ****. Meh doesn't begin to cover the "big battles" and even the Batman Kicks 10 assess scenes seemed oddly slow. We've seen enough hero crushes a whole gang by himself scenes to notice if the villains seem to be just lining up to get roundhouse kicked.

10. LOLness. Gordon getting out of the truck after it flew off the overpass without a scratch on him literally drew a wave of giggles from the theater. As did batman and catwoman's lingering kiss with like a minute on the clock. Also, what a hero, instead of 12 million dying instantly, 3 million die 6 months later from radiation poisoning.

11. The coda. So bad I need to mention it again. Way to undermine whatever resonance the first ending might have actually had. OMG HE'S ORDERING A FERNE BLANCA WJAT HAPPENS NEXT? **** off.

gotham city isn't real

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