Good morning! With the loss of college football, I am mourning by watching The Big Lebowski. It has been a few years, and I was worried it wouldn't hold up. To the contrary, the movie is absolutely fantastic. In my top 10. On a related note, Hollywood is full of absolute scumbags. Les Moonves kept a guy silent about his serial scumbaggery by...showing up to his birthday party. Seriously.

Of course, Les's supposed business acumen, in addition to knowing what OLDS want to watch (CSI: Omaha and NCIS: Little Rock), is based on repeatedly renewing the NFL (history with women: not great, bob) and claiming credit for 60 minutes (serial sexual misconduct, ldo). With Les's downfall, CBS will now be controlled by Sheri Redstone, whose 90+ year old father is engaged in terminal litigation with his mistresses, one of whom was all set to inherit $50 million+ but couldn't resist the urge to fly to AZ to bang some unemployed loser on the side.

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016..****e-final-days

My point, to the extent I have one, is that people suck. But you already knew that. You aren't reading to learn such things, so on to the gratis currency:

Falcons at Packers -4.5

There seems to be some debate about Godgers. His teammates don't like him, he's an *******, blah blah blah. Not buying it. Everyone reading this has worked for an incompetent prick - how did you respond? By skipping to work with a smile on your face? FAT MIKE is Lumbergh on steroids. It is entirely possible the rest of the team is stupid and didn't know FAT MIKE is special needs. But Godgers is obviously a sharp guy and he has to be elated. Lay the points, Atlanta has given up. Dan Quinn could have kneeled and won the Super Bowl.

Pats at Dolphins +8

Regular readers are aware that I bet the Patriots every week. This is going well recently. I expect this to continue.

Giants at Redskins +3.5

This ****ing division, man. Sharps are betting Washington, god bless them. Watching this game is going to be like slamming your dick in a car door for 3 hours. Why any human being would pay money to attend in person is beyond my comprehension. I guess most of them need the excuse to drink?

Colts at Texans -4.5

Love the Colts here. If the NFC East and AFC South disappeared, would you even notice?

Ravens at Chiefs -7

The Chiefs are owned by the Hunt family, which is full of fail son losers roughly equivalent to Don Jr. One of these dumb ****s tried to corner the entire silver market and lost hundreds of millions of dollars. They're still billionaires because of course they are, if you're looking for justice in this world you're going to be looking until you're in the ground.

Saints at Bucs +10

Tampa is super underrated in betting markets - they're good! Just turn it over a lot. Not sure why this line is steaming so hard. Anyone know what happens to the Saints when the gold digging whore dies? Not shedding any tears for the Benson clan, who by all accounts are horrible massively entitled people. There are no heroes.

Panthers at Browns +2

I think Cam is injured. I also think Ron Rivera's stupidity is one of the most entertaining things on earth. I'm pretty ashamed of how much joy I get out of him being a moron. Jimmy Haslam ripped off his customers and stole tens of millions of dollars from them - nothing happened. Nice country!

Jets at Bills -4

Why?

Broncos at SF -4

I learned this week that SF has outgained their opponents on the year. That's absolutely insane and I've bet them as a result. Denver is rolling with a Dids look alike at WR, how will they score?

Bengals at Chargers -14

Find me an owner who isn't awful in this game. You can't.

Eagles at Cowboys -3.5

We forget when watching these games that the coaches know. They know their $5+ million salaries are ridiculous and completely unearned. This is especially true with Clapper Chilly. When you realize he is self-aware, the anger subsides. Wouldn't you stand there clapping for $300,000 a game?

Steelers at Raiders and Lions at Cards

Nope.

Rams at Bears

Lay the 3.

Enjoy.

The world is on fire.

Denver will be able to run all over the 9ers, that's how they will score just like they did last week. I expect a defensive td too.

Is trubes playing? If so I kind of like the bears ML.

Also, the Colts and Texans are not forgettable teams right now. Division could be fun for a while.

Oakland will put up a fight against rapists. MARK IT ZERO

Owners are scumbags, got it

dth woefully behind on the Sumner Saga

Cliffs: one of his long term girlfriends having success in court; likely due for big payday

Lebowski totally holds up as a solid movie and it's not even a top 3 Coen bros. film

Also Saints gonna smack Tampa for an easy cover

Cam is definitely injured. I watched a good portion of that Bucs Panthers game. He could not throw 50+ yards at the end of the game for a Hail Mary. His passes also looked pretty slow compared to normal.

Rivera is also a moron. His gameplan was to attack the secondary of the Bucs forgetting that the Bucs suck on all facets of defense. McCaffrey had 10.6 yards per rush and only rushed 10 times. Hilariously awful usage, and Cam was also a moron for throwing a pick every time he was going to get sacked instead of taking the sack. Honorable mention to Mike Zimmer for running Dalvin Cook only 9 times with an average of 9.3 yards a carry.

Extremely infuriating to have money on both those teams when it's so obvious that both those RBs should've had 20+ touches in their respective games. Guess I'm an idiot for betting on Carolina again this week. Maybe they won't be morons and actually run since they know Cam is hurt.

Denver is very good

I am absolutely petrified about this Oakland game.

Yea sucks they couldn't do better than Keenum because they'd be a very dangerous football team. Hope they playoff.


Probably cursing the Dolphins saying this but Pats 3 road losses were by double digits this year and they've lost 4 of 5 in Miami. Tannehill has not lost to the Pats when @ home since 2012.

I can get in early!

Watched every snap. I would take the very out of that statement but they are top tier of the middle of the pack. Been in it with all the good teams and lost a couple stupid ones. If they actually had s decent coach they go 11-5, maybe. That loss to Baltimore is going to haunt them. Needed chargers to lose last week so they could have their epic yearly collapse

Oh btw, Chubb is the real deal and will be a top 5 pass rusher in his 3rd year.

The running back Chubb is pretty good too.

This game seems like a super trap for the Pats

That being said, TAKE THE POINTS

Taking Pack money line to start winning shedding weight.

Taking Indy + 4.5 and a little outright.

Taking Bengals money line. (Good story about it but won't make you suffer thru it unless and until it hits.)

*I'm close to cease fire on sports capping, with good reason.

A spinoff of The Big Lebowski is coming in 2019.

Oh god if ya'll aren't watching ESPN. Hasselbeck and Rex are staging a war against analytics. Rex has said "take the points" about 14 times.

They were discussing Jags game where Colts went 0-4 on 4th and 1's.

TAKE THE POINTS! MORONS!!!!!

He responded to me on twitter hahaha great

I mean he’s got a point. Points > no points

I quite enjoy learning a little about how, specifically, each team’s owners are scumbags from these OPs every week.

I bet Payton’s pissed and will be trying to win by 50 today. Somehow Jameis hasn’t thrown an interception in the past two weeks.

I didn't know my dad was a member of SE

Reported Garrett tried to lure Witten out of retirement recently. Everyone who watched Witten at the end knew he was done, Witten knew he was done, Garrett still is completely ****ing clueless.

this BAL defense on KC might be most interesting matchup of the year - they totally shut down ATL offense in ATL last week, be a huge test for homey

As a Falcons fan our OL is completely torn apart by injuries and our healthy guys have been under performing. Still an interesting match-up but the team they played last week was running like an engine that hadn't had its oil changed in 2 years. Matt was under pressure nearly every time he dropped back. The Chiefs aren't the Falcons at this point in the season by any stretch of the imagination.

Dolphins mortal lock sadly

Tom Coughlin HC Jags rumors out there

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL