Welcome to the thread! We made it. Somehow, Matt Patricia also made it. Quick, what would you charge for a 10 year term life insurance policy on that guy?

I'm genuinely on the fence regarding all the coaching retreads who are sure to get jobs in the next few weeks. I get it, BB was a retread, it can work. But seriously, there is absolutely zero chance Jim Caldwell is a good hire. Do these guys keep getting jobs because it is legitimately very hard to find good coaches, or because there is epic amounts of groupthink happening? Why didn't Marty every coach again? 14-2 when we got fired. Was there a single person not involved in the hiring process and not related to Pat Shurmur who thought hiring him would work?

On to the action. Special shout out to fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who would be favored on a neutral field over all 4 AFC wild card teams!

Before we begin, a special betting note. 3 of these 4 games are profitable teasers. I'm a little surprised the books aren't setting the lines at -1 (-130) or something to offset the teaser action, but what do I know.

Colts at Texans -2

Frank Reich is assumed to be a moron because of that overtime thing earlier in the year. I have a different take: the guy isn't afraid to be wrong and he likes to be aggressive. Two huge positives in my book. And Dougie P didn't look so hot without him this year.

While Luck is obviously awesome, he makes huge mistakes under pressure and Houston obviously gets pressure. I think this one comes down to Indy avoiding huge negative plays and turnovers. Huge coaching advantage as BOB has long been flying under the radar as an absolute moron. Deshaun Watson seems destined to get injured, lol running him around getting hammered last week after they had already won the division (watch the scoreboard, dumbass).

Seahawks at Cowboys -2.5

Is Vegas drunk? I fully understand how they set the lines and I'm sure the "math checks out" (shout out to Demi Moore in Margin Call here - easily the best movie about finance and Wall Street ever made). But seriously, Das as a favorite against Russ is pretty stupid. On top of that, I really think Clapper might be a bottom 3 coach in the league. The stupidity required to leave your QB in a meaningless Week 17 game with a guaranteed Saturday playoff game is beyond my comprehension. I fully expect Dallas to lose in hilarious fashion.

Now, I in no way endorse Peter Carroll, who is a Jordan Peterson fan, 9/11 truther and all around douchebag. Is Russ still rolling with all the Jesus quotes or did he drop that act after he divorced his wife for a pop singer?

Chargers at Baltimore -2.5

I recently was perusing job listings, and saw a job that was perfect for my experience. It was located in Baltimore. Nope.

I like the Chargers in this game. Yes, I know Baltimore won a few weeks ago but I'm not convinced. Make Lamar throw to beat you or, alternatively, RGIII him. And really, who do you want to see in the next round more than Rivers? Nobody.

Eagles at Bears -6

Is Vegas not aware that BDN is going to start this game? I'm confused.

What a ****ing fraud Carson Wentz is. Chalk up another Jesus freak quote machine failure. I absolutely hate the city of Philadelphia and everything about it, but how can you not pull for Foles? A genuinely awesome person.

Do you really trust MITCH in the playoffs? Of course you don't.

Enjoy.

also, the Dallas offensive line is very banged up, and their kicker has been shaky on makeable kicks?

predictably, my friend who is a Cowboys fan thinks this line is fair and wants to unload on them at that number

hey man, he's only human




also, someone tell those 2 rocket surgeons to throw it to Lockett

In one post in this thread we've proven DVOA is a total joke. Since 1986 and not one actually great WR is on that list once. The other SF WR twice and not Jerry, looooool.

Colts
Bolts
Boys
Foles

wr dvoa is "per play," does that mean per target or per snap?

because that list looks something awful

Dennis northcut! That fool was always a fantasy streamer. Don't have fond memories of him.

That cowboys like is really strange. I guess they just figure any sharp is betting Seattle but want to keep it close enough the casuals won't be scared. Seattle should probably be -2.5. I'm not a real sports bettor though. Really don't see Russ losing.

I think the bears win
Rivers chokes
I like this Colts team and think it is an absolute pick em. Gun to the head I'll take Texans

Colts
Cowboys
Ravens
Bears

Colts-Texans is a toss up really.

Colts
Seahawks
Chargers
Bears

Colts
Cowboys
Ravens
Bears

Saints > Cowboys
Rams > Bears
Ravens > Pats
Chiefs > Colts

Saints > Rams
Chiefs > Ravens

Chiefs

Chargers going to make the Ravens unsustainable qb have

Luck
Russ
Philolip
BDN

Texans
Birds
Purple Birds
Big Dicked Birds

Texans
Cowboys
Chargers
Bears

Colts
Seahawks
Ravens
Bears

Colts
Seahawks
Chargers
Bears

Colts > Chiefs
Pats > Chargers
Saints > Seahawks
Bears > Rams

Pats > Colts
Saints > Bears

Saints > Pats

FYP

Sub Brady or Brees for him in what's deemed "one of their best seasons" and they're sitting with a 1st round bye.

He'll be required to reach ELITE levels of runhot.

Colts
12th man
Quoth the Raven
Mack beats Zach

The only question is do I feel confident in the 1st one to take Captain Luck with #6 overall in playoff fantasy. Cuz if they win and then even just play a high scoring game against Fat Andy, that's a ton of points.

Real question is rate the games in order of watchability (i.e, you are on an island and told you can watch X games by the tribe before they presumably murder you).

For me (most to least, and as a Cowboys fan)

Ravens vs Chargers (best defence and most intriguing offence vs Rivahhhhhs)
BDN vs Trubs (other best defence vs BDN)
Colts vs Texans (whoever wins probably wins CBPOY out of Luck and Watt)
Seahawks vs Cowboys (two relatively dour running teams, Wilson is dope though, and Clapper due to do something ******ed).

Never been able to figure out Carroll at all really.

I forgot he had Peterson come speak to the Seahawks staff. Can't imagine his shtick with a room full of football dudes.

Take Indy and the points

Take the points and the under in the sea-dal game, there's no way it doesn't end like 13-12 or 16-15

in for the usual braindead coaching decisions

Houston always plays the early game on Saturday

Texans 27 Colts 16

Seattle 21 Dallas 20

Chargers 23 Ravens 17

Eagles 9 Bears 27

Not only did Clapper play Dak in a meaningless Wk17 game, but he did so with Zeke, Tyron, and Martin all inactive. I'm rooting for Dallas, but they better hope it's not close coming down the stretch, otherwise they're going to get outshined in coaching and QBing and probably lose. Homer money in Dallas's favor will prob keep the line stable