Mon - taaa?

The Paul Perkins era is upon us
More than that, it's the Cool Name Theory. Good QBs have short, punchy names, or otherwise cool-sounding names. Tom Brady. Joe Montana. Drew Brees. Cam Newton. Bart Starr. Dan Fouts. Steve Young. I could go on. Point is, a QB's name should sound like it could belong on a TV series followed by "Private Eye."

Bad QBs have names that make them sound like spoiled brats. Like daddy had to sell the second yacht to pay for prep school. These entitled ****s never make it because they've been spoiled all their lives. Blaine Gabbert. Brady Quinn. Christian Hackenberg. Brock Osweiler.

The one exception is Peyton Manning-- he's just too talented. But if you remember how he used to whine when defenses wouldn't do what he wanted them to in the playoffs, you'll understand how spoiled-brat theory fits him.

The 49ers are apparently hiring someone named Robert Saleh to be their defensive coordinator.

He worked his way all the way up linebackers coach for the Jaguars for the past 3 years before getting this opportunity.

He's from the Seattle defensive tree, where he rose all the way to defensive quality control coach in 2011.

Dunno, he's only 38, & the Seahawks defense is pretty popular these days, so maybe he's not incompetent?

The mystery coach could be anything. He could even be a boat!

Mon-tuhn?

AJ Hawk owes his entire career to his surname

Colt McCoy would have gone undrafted if he'd have been called Brendon

Brees is also one syllable, study does not hold up under peer review.

Whitney Mercilus had to be the toughest prospect to scout...

I assume it's "Mont-nah" similar to "Hello Gov'nah"

He's from the Bart Starr school of naming.

"Ben Roethlisberger" is another weird example. "Ben" is a cool QB name; "Roethlisberger" is an "I'm so spoiled I think I can commit multiple rapes and get away with it" name.

So, uh, I guess it checks out.

I'm enjoying these theories. When combined who will be the top QB from this class and who will be a major bust?

only appeared in one SB tho

Davis Webb is the top QB name in the draft. that guy has stud written all over him.

I'm staying very far away from Mitch Trubisky, reminds me of Mitch Cumstein

Mitch Trubisky is doomed given he's 3 syllables and there are no cool people in the world called 'Mitchell'

DeShaun Watson has the motivation - he really needs to make it work in football because nobody called DeShaun has ever gotten a promotion in an office environment

DeShone Kizer has similar first name issues but a way cooler surname and we could see him having his own show on MTV later in life

I'm going with Davis Webb. It's not brilliant, but he could have his own detective show and it kind of rolls off the tongue quite nicely


Poor CJ Beathard is completely ****ed, but I'm not telling him that. Anybody with that name learned how to fight at an early age (see Christine Michael) and should not be messed with

ha - we think alike...must be true then.

You guys are sleeping on Jarod Evans.

I'm Australian and even I don't get the Montana thing

tbh, nor do I but I really liked the post and then Montana struck me after I'd finished it, so I tried to ward dissent off at the pass

Not exactly TV detective worthy. Sounds more like the local butcher

His full name is Jerod X. Evans. He'll do just fine.

needs to shave his head asap and start going by "X" imo

X Evans has real potential.

Webster Slaughter is my all time favourite NFL name and may never be beaten, albeit Baccari Rambo is right up there and I genuinely hope Barkevious Mingo plays for 10+ years

Kobe Buffalomeat