Meet Liv, she enjoys sharing a mouse with that special someone under the moonlight. She's self-conscious about the size and smell of her pellets, so be polite.

Kinda wondered if I'd ever see another Chiefs Superb Owl, or if my memories as an 9-month-old who was probably more interested in the electrical outlets in the room than the game - would have to suffice. My first phrase was apparently "plug it in". The 70s man.

I'm sure it's been a rough go for Niners fans my age who (checks notes) are 5-0 in SBs since 1982. Oh. I'm surprised that hasn't been a hot take this week. There's one about any team with more than 55 sacks have won the last 6 SBs. Nevermind all the sack-leading-teams that didn't even make the SB. Nope, once you get there - science shows if you have more than 55 sacks you win.



So let's get right to the matchups:

QBs:

One QB is kind of a hunk. The other QB has sounds like Kermit the Frog and looks like Darlene from Roseanne. But he can do this:



I searched for Jimmy G's best throws and found this:



Anyway just woke up from my nap.

Edge?




RBs:

I know you all had Raheem Mostert as a top-5 RB pre-season, mid-season, late-season. But some of us are still going who? I guess there's some other guy Tevin who sounds like he should be a teen R&B hearththrob.

Chiefs had to bench Shady for a consistent case of using the ball as a battering device against other players. Williams has had some flashes and seems to perform well in the playoffs.

Obviously the 9ers are running all-world here but I dunno if the edge goes to the O-line, or Shanny or the O-coordinator. But w/e. If you came here expecting insightful stats you goaded the wrong guy into doing this thing.


I haven't watched this yet. But this guy's breakdown of the Chiefs D-line against the run, which I posted below, is phenomenal.

Edge? SF


WRs:

Hill, Watkins, Hardman vs. Sanders, Deebo and whatever if I have to look him up he can't be that good.

Edge? KC


TEs:

Here's the fun matchup. Kinda of annoying as a Chiefs fan that Kelce was second banana to Gronk for years, then when it's finally his time, he's second banana to Kittle.

But I blame a lot of that on Kittle's flashy blocking style. Kelce's more of a lunch pail blocker. He brings grit and heart and just quietly gets the job done w/o calling attention to himself. Kittle always has to show off by pancaking the guy. The Amish call that Grossfeilich, and it's rightly frowned upon.

Edge? push


O-line:

Chiefs have better tackles, SF has better interior. Feels truthy.

Edge? dunno I fell asleep thinking about the o-line


D-line:

How can you tell if a national pundit is phoning it in? They proudly quote Chiefs defensive stats about the whole season - as if the first half and second half weren't night and day. Lots of injuries and Spags was still trying to figure out what he had.


How in the hell is this guy like 500x better than another other youtube film analysis I've ever seen?

Edge? KC because of this awesome video and I have no opinions on the 49ers run defense


Pass rush:

Call me crazy but I'm taking Clark and Jones over Bosa and Ford. I think the Chiefs know how to neutralize Ford. However I do think the 49ers best path to victory is disrupting Mahomes - ala the 2007 Giants. A dominant pass rush with the front 4 is the only real kryptonite to a dominant QB. I'll be very interested to see if they're getting immediate pressure with 4 early on.

Edge? KC


LBs:

Gotta be 49ers - incredible speed. Chiefs LBs are pretty weak, Fortunately there aren't usually very many of the on the field at the same time. We like to load up on safeties. Sorenson has been playing as a WIL a lot and playing out fo his mind. One thing teams were doing earlier against the Chiefs to great success is throwing to the backs out of the flat.

Edge? SF


Secondary:

Sorry Sherman is old and slow and SF's safeties are suspect. Honey Badger, Fuller, Sorenson, Ward and Breeland have become the strength of this defense. But losing Thornhill hurts a little.

Edge? KC


Coaching:

Two offensive geniuses. Reid's been here before. Praying for no Reid clock brainfarts.

Edge? push


Fans:



vs.





Edge? KC


Food:



Edge? KC


OK - LET US FOOTBALL! (in 6 more excruciatingly long hours)

first

Chiefs dominate and get their first super bowl in forever. 49-21

I watched the video about the SF run game I posted above, and now I'm terrified.

Get up early and force them out of their comfort zone. I see a more likely path to Chiefs blowout than 49ers blowout. Jimmy G is a pick 6 waiting to happen and has gotten away with some god awful throws and reads this year.

Plus have faith in Andy Reid out of a bye week

This is why you can't let homers make the OP

Great op

Great OP, Suzzer!

The ribs cemented my support for KC--at least for the start of the game. I really want to see a shoot-out and will heartily cheer for the team that provides the most exciting part of that. Also rooting for some LOLs at the guffaw level.

I don't want to seem square, but could you please adjust that to 42-27?

Bang bang niner gang

Chefs win 27 - 20

Mahomes begins his dynastic reign today and I’m stealing all the newspapers at 4 am tomorrow

got a ton of SF +1.5
that said, I really want Andy Reid to get his first SB
so let's go KC 31-30 for maximum awesomeness

snagged a 3-0 square too so let's hit that along the way a few times lol

BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP TIME

It’s not any worse than the expert’s cheat sheet at the track.

Homers provide the passion, the comedy, the background, the delusion and the WTF?ness.

God bless ‘em.

I’m thinkin Niners 34-24 but if Chiefs stop the run then possible ‘whoa Nelie’.

Hoping for a GREAT game but tilting to KC for the dry spell.

Father of Phil Rivers - gets me every time.

Here. Got action on heads (no vig w/ a friend, not a degen) and 49ers.

nice that's nice

Great OP!

I'm in Miami for the weekend and there's way more Chiefs fans walking around

It's better than all the regular season OPs combined

**** both these teams, on Mostert o73.5 and under 7.5 punts

LFG Chiefs.

Chiefs 37-21. Although OP suggests Chiefs 89-0 or something. Chiefs DL » SF ???

Chiefs interior D-line has been a strength since we got Pennel and our issues sorted out (watch the video I posted). I kind of lumped DEs in with pass rush. But I think Clark and Suggs hold their own vs. the run better than Bosa and Ford (Ford is a huge liability vs. the run).

many monies on the suzzers