It's Gettin' Chilly In Here
11-05-2013
, 05:22 PM
As many of you know, the NFL is currently overrun with many things- ESTABLISHING, STAFF INFECTION, more ESTABLISHING- and when you break these things down they all lead back to one thing:
Awful awful coaching.
Awful coaches are running rampant in the NFL right now. One might ask, GeoffRas, the NFL is a billion dollar industry, why is it that the men tasked with running these organizations are incapable of making even the simplest of decisions. That I cannot answer. What I can tell you, however, is that whilst most of these coaches, or, more appropriately, Chilly's, are still trying to play tic tac toe with cinder blocks, a seldom few have found the solution, beaten the coverage, and are charging downfield ahead of the competition. No establishing was necessary for these giants.
It is with all of these people in mind that this thread is being created. Chilly's come in all shapes and sizes, with different brain functionality- it is my belief that everyone should be made aware of who they are and what exactly makes them so special. But before we get to all of that, we must first take a moment to appreciate the man that has started it all:
Brad Childress, or Chilly, to most, was a once-in-a-generation coach. No one inspired hate quite like this man. No one loved calling a timeout and talking it over with 14:48 left in the 1st quite like this man. No one loved challenging the spot quite like this man. He inspired threads and got protests started in his name. If you have half a brain, you could outcoach this man. The most liked answer on yahoo answers under the question "Is Brad Childress a total idiot?" is "Yes he is, there is no doubt in my mind.."
Thus he is our inspiration. In every coach, there is a chilly. With that being said, let's meet our Chilly's:
Marc "Canadian Chilly" Trestman- Chicago Bears
While most thought he would only be bringing original french fry & gravy recipes and making his Bears practice on ice, Canadian Chilly has taken the league by storm with a nice combination of great play calling and CALCULATED RISK TAKING (more on that later). Trestman inherited a bad defense, and an offense with a porous OL & decent playmakers, all led by this man
Against all odds Trestman has skated into our hearts and turned this Bears team into an offensive powerhouse. Last week he went for it on 4th & in from his own 35 up 4 with 8 min left in the 4th quarter. Hopefully Gary Kubiak wasn't watching or it could have been stroke #2.
Rob "Groundhog Day Chilly" Chudzinski- Cleveland Browns
Chud has been more of a silent assassin, but he is quietly becoming one of the best coaches in the league. Chud goes for it with the best of them and recently got a 1st round pick for what I can only assume was once a running back who **** gold, bc now he's just ****. Most impressive, however, is that Brad Childress is the offensive coordinator for this team. One can only imagine the temptations Groundhog Day Chilly spends every day fighting. Whether it be running on 2nd & 10 or challenging a td, GDC has found a way to stay consistently awesome. It's only logical to assume that CHUD keeps Chilly around so that he knows exactly what not to do in every situation.
Ron "Mexican Chilly" Rivera- Carolina Panthers
The first and only convert, Mexican Chilly has recently completed a transformation that future children will read about in history books. Never one to shy away from punting on 4th & in from the opponents 33, or force Cam Newton into being merely a pocket QB, Mexican Chilly, now known as Riverboat Ron Rivera, looked death in the face and simply said "No".
per wiki
and then from RIVERBOAT RON himself
His transformation has been nothing short of a revelation. One poster summed it up best
Leslie "Black Chilly" Frazier- Minnesota Vikings
Unfortunately for avid NFL viewers everywhere, the good Chilly's stop here. Even more unfortunate for Vikings fans, who every day fought and bled for Childress to be fired, the man who replaced him wasn't much better. Unfortunately, most coaches who are bad make the same mistakes, so just repeating lolchallenges, horrible clock/TO management, & ESTABLISHING is just going to get tiresome. Instead, I will defer to others to explain what makes this man so Chilly
I could go on, but I think the point has been made.
Greg "Staff Infected Chilly" Schiano- Tampa Bay Bucs
Honestly ****ting on him just seems like piling on at this point, but holy **** does this prick deserve it. Every time you start to feel a little bit of guilt for endless verbal brutality towards a coach, remember that this man was paid 7+ figures to do his job, and boy oh boy was he bad.
The only coach whose in game efforts won't even need to be mentioned, Staff Infected Chilly has the most appropriate name of all. Reports of bullying lead the way as he has done everything to lose the respect of every player he is coaching. Enjoy these AIDS while they last, because I can't imagine he will be allowed to infect that franchise much longer.
Mike "Cheddar Chilly" McCarthy
Last, but certainly not least, Cheddar Chilly has emerged as probably the worst coach in the NFL. At first, him continuing to bumble**** his way through games was amusing, but now its just sad. Here's a hint, when you have a QB who is really really good, DON'T GET IN HIS WAY. Yet Cheddah Chilly insists on pounding a running back into his **** offensive line for 3 YPC and forcing Godgers into god awful spots again and again.
Last night, the packers caught a ball to convert a long first down to get to the 25 yard line. It was a clear catch that the refs called incomplete. Keep in mind, this was a huge point in the game and even if the catch wasn't clear it would have been worth challenged. Does Cheddar Chilly, one known to challenge in the dumbest of spots, throw the red flag? Of course not, he instead sends out the punting team. He then, at the end of the game down 4, puts on one of the worst display of clock management in the history of the NFL and ultimately gets the ball back with 30 seconds and no timeouts. Just a baffling display honestly. Through it all I kept thinking of this great movie scene. What he had just done set coaching back fifty years. Everyone watching was now dumber for having seen it. He was awarded no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.
Again, enjoy it while it lasts, bc unless Godgers has something to say about it, I think the only Cheddar we'll be seeing from McCarthy is the block on his head as he sits on his couch watching just like us.
Chilly's chilly every week, and that's what this thread is for. Are there more Chilly's? Of course there are. There's a Chilly in everyone. This was just to break the ice and introduce the idea. I encourage anyone and everyone to introduce us to any Chilly I may have missed, or any new Chilly that joins our world. And of course, I expect this thread to be bumped with each and every Chilly.
Awful awful coaching.
Awful coaches are running rampant in the NFL right now. One might ask, GeoffRas, the NFL is a billion dollar industry, why is it that the men tasked with running these organizations are incapable of making even the simplest of decisions. That I cannot answer. What I can tell you, however, is that whilst most of these coaches, or, more appropriately, Chilly's, are still trying to play tic tac toe with cinder blocks, a seldom few have found the solution, beaten the coverage, and are charging downfield ahead of the competition. No establishing was necessary for these giants.
It is with all of these people in mind that this thread is being created. Chilly's come in all shapes and sizes, with different brain functionality- it is my belief that everyone should be made aware of who they are and what exactly makes them so special. But before we get to all of that, we must first take a moment to appreciate the man that has started it all:
Brad Childress, or Chilly, to most, was a once-in-a-generation coach. No one inspired hate quite like this man. No one loved calling a timeout and talking it over with 14:48 left in the 1st quite like this man. No one loved challenging the spot quite like this man. He inspired threads and got protests started in his name. If you have half a brain, you could outcoach this man. The most liked answer on yahoo answers under the question "Is Brad Childress a total idiot?" is "Yes he is, there is no doubt in my mind.."
Thus he is our inspiration. In every coach, there is a chilly. With that being said, let's meet our Chilly's:
Marc "Canadian Chilly" Trestman- Chicago Bears
While most thought he would only be bringing original french fry & gravy recipes and making his Bears practice on ice, Canadian Chilly has taken the league by storm with a nice combination of great play calling and CALCULATED RISK TAKING (more on that later). Trestman inherited a bad defense, and an offense with a porous OL & decent playmakers, all led by this man
Against all odds Trestman has skated into our hearts and turned this Bears team into an offensive powerhouse. Last week he went for it on 4th & in from his own 35 up 4 with 8 min left in the 4th quarter. Hopefully Gary Kubiak wasn't watching or it could have been stroke #2.
Rob "Groundhog Day Chilly" Chudzinski- Cleveland Browns
Chud has been more of a silent assassin, but he is quietly becoming one of the best coaches in the league. Chud goes for it with the best of them and recently got a 1st round pick for what I can only assume was once a running back who **** gold, bc now he's just ****. Most impressive, however, is that Brad Childress is the offensive coordinator for this team. One can only imagine the temptations Groundhog Day Chilly spends every day fighting. Whether it be running on 2nd & 10 or challenging a td, GDC has found a way to stay consistently awesome. It's only logical to assume that CHUD keeps Chilly around so that he knows exactly what not to do in every situation.
Ron "Mexican Chilly" Rivera- Carolina Panthers
The first and only convert, Mexican Chilly has recently completed a transformation that future children will read about in history books. Never one to shy away from punting on 4th & in from the opponents 33, or force Cam Newton into being merely a pocket QB, Mexican Chilly, now known as Riverboat Ron Rivera, looked death in the face and simply said "No".
per wiki
Quote:
Over the first 34 games of his coaching career, he was known for exceptionally conservative decision making which led to a 2-14 record in games decided by less than a touchdown. With Carolina opening the 2013 season 0-2, reports circled that the front office was already performing background checks on new potential head coach candidates. Facing a 4th and 1 from the two yard line in the first quarter against the also 0-2 New York Giants in week three, Rivera shed his conservative chains like Django and went for the touchdown instead of a field goal. A Mike Tolbert run found the end zone, Carolina ended up winning the game 38-0, and Riverboat Ron was born. It has been said that the reason for the play call was that Rivera actually thought it was only third down, in which case this is the most fortunate mistake a man has made since Christopher Columbus got lost on the way to India.
Over the next five games, the Panthers went for a first down five times in situations where conventional strategy called for a field goal attempt. They converted on four of them and ended each of those drives with touchdowns, all in wins. The lone failure was against the Cardinals when Brandon Lafail dropped a wide open pass across the middle from Cam Newton that would have resulted in a sure touchdown as well. All hail Riverboat Ron.
Over the next five games, the Panthers went for a first down five times in situations where conventional strategy called for a field goal attempt. They converted on four of them and ended each of those drives with touchdowns, all in wins. The lone failure was against the Cardinals when Brandon Lafail dropped a wide open pass across the middle from Cam Newton that would have resulted in a sure touchdown as well. All hail Riverboat Ron.
Quote:
"It's funny, because you're told to 'play it by the book,' but is that truly the book?" Rivera reflected Sunday afternoon after leaving the stadium. "The book says you take the points. But hey, you've got to score touchdowns to win in this league. You can't just sit there and take field goals. Think about it: Who wrote 'The Book'? There is no book."
Quote:
"No, not at all," he said. "Everybody keeps telling me they love the moniker, but I'm not sure I like it. I like 'Calculated-Risk-Taker Ron.' "
Quote:
Like Belichick, Rivera's fourth-down approach has been swayed by statistics. Citing a report by a professor at his alma mater, UC Berkeley, Rivera conceded that conventional wisdom surrounding those situations might be flawed.
"There's a stats professor at Cal who did a study on fourth down and concluded you're more apt to make it on fourth down than on third down," Rivera said. "So is that the new book? My attitude is, forget 'The Book.' Instead of us having to stop the other team, let's make 'em do the things they have to do to stop us."
"There's a stats professor at Cal who did a study on fourth down and concluded you're more apt to make it on fourth down than on third down," Rivera said. "So is that the new book? My attitude is, forget 'The Book.' Instead of us having to stop the other team, let's make 'em do the things they have to do to stop us."
Leslie "Black Chilly" Frazier- Minnesota Vikings
Unfortunately for avid NFL viewers everywhere, the good Chilly's stop here. Even more unfortunate for Vikings fans, who every day fought and bled for Childress to be fired, the man who replaced him wasn't much better. Unfortunately, most coaches who are bad make the same mistakes, so just repeating lolchallenges, horrible clock/TO management, & ESTABLISHING is just going to get tiresome. Instead, I will defer to others to explain what makes this man so Chilly
Quote:
Wasting a timeout there is literally the WORST of the 3 options of goforit/punt/fake-go-for-it-then-call-a-timeout-then-punt
Contract Frazier
Contract Frazier
Quote:
And lol at not going for 2 down 18 with 4minutes left. Frazier is such a bad coach, it's starting to get kind of funny. Like a tragic comedy.
Greg "Staff Infected Chilly" Schiano- Tampa Bay Bucs
Honestly ****ting on him just seems like piling on at this point, but holy **** does this prick deserve it. Every time you start to feel a little bit of guilt for endless verbal brutality towards a coach, remember that this man was paid 7+ figures to do his job, and boy oh boy was he bad.
The only coach whose in game efforts won't even need to be mentioned, Staff Infected Chilly has the most appropriate name of all. Reports of bullying lead the way as he has done everything to lose the respect of every player he is coaching. Enjoy these AIDS while they last, because I can't imagine he will be allowed to infect that franchise much longer.
Mike "Cheddar Chilly" McCarthy
Last, but certainly not least, Cheddar Chilly has emerged as probably the worst coach in the NFL. At first, him continuing to bumble**** his way through games was amusing, but now its just sad. Here's a hint, when you have a QB who is really really good, DON'T GET IN HIS WAY. Yet Cheddah Chilly insists on pounding a running back into his **** offensive line for 3 YPC and forcing Godgers into god awful spots again and again.
Last night, the packers caught a ball to convert a long first down to get to the 25 yard line. It was a clear catch that the refs called incomplete. Keep in mind, this was a huge point in the game and even if the catch wasn't clear it would have been worth challenged. Does Cheddar Chilly, one known to challenge in the dumbest of spots, throw the red flag? Of course not, he instead sends out the punting team. He then, at the end of the game down 4, puts on one of the worst display of clock management in the history of the NFL and ultimately gets the ball back with 30 seconds and no timeouts. Just a baffling display honestly. Through it all I kept thinking of this great movie scene. What he had just done set coaching back fifty years. Everyone watching was now dumber for having seen it. He was awarded no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.
Again, enjoy it while it lasts, bc unless Godgers has something to say about it, I think the only Cheddar we'll be seeing from McCarthy is the block on his head as he sits on his couch watching just like us.
Chilly's chilly every week, and that's what this thread is for. Are there more Chilly's? Of course there are. There's a Chilly in everyone. This was just to break the ice and introduce the idea. I encourage anyone and everyone to introduce us to any Chilly I may have missed, or any new Chilly that joins our world. And of course, I expect this thread to be bumped with each and every Chilly.
Last edited by GeoffRas22; 11-05-2013 at 05:47 PM.
11-05-2013
, 05:36 PM
11-05-2013
, 05:39 PM
Chipshot Chilly
Great thread. Lol'ed.
Great thread. Lol'ed.
11-05-2013
, 05:40 PM
now chillin' ass chillies come in all shapes and colors
some got canned in the past
but this chilly here was a smart one
started going on 4th and i'll last
11-05-2013
, 05:46 PM
11-05-2013
, 05:47 PM
11-05-2013
, 05:51 PM
11-05-2013
, 05:52 PM
Amazing OP
Coronary Chilly or Cardiac Chilly
