lol ouch

Probably only had a broken leg

the keita injury seems like it was one of those broken legs that will only take a couple weeks to recover from. tho not like pogba didnt try his best to make it worse

MOYES

Koeman gone at Barca. He's got Man Utd written all over him. They love an ex Everton...

He managed Barcelona. He must be good!

Don't forget Brucie is available

Not as manager but as a replacement for Slabhead I mean, can't do any worse

Not gonna lie, I'd take Brucey as player/manager at this point.

Koeman always seemed like a first class prick. Plus he looks like a combo of Rodger Goodell and Todd from Breaking Bad. Really enjoying the Barca implosion…long may it continue.

Ben Johnson put in another excellent display last night for us, doing a fair job on Raheem Sterling. He has done really well since Coufal got injured and has improved considerably. His distribution could do with some improvement, but he has gone from "will probably end up in the Championship" to "useful squad member, Coufal may struggle to get back in" this season.

He is out of contract this summer, he is going to get a nice pay rise from someone.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"

Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United”.

Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"

Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?”

That's a lot of words for very little reward.

It was an easier paste

2 separate people sent me the Ole joke. It's not funny

Looks like Arsenal are crapping themselves.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59092100

Ideal, I'd stuck Leicester on my coupon.

he has done it again lol

David Gold should really pay someone to manage his account

Also would take the draw against Leicester away, especially since it is an early KO

Michael Oliver is such a fraud, he allows fouls that would be considered war crimes in a different context.

Foot in his mouth constantly but Gold's twitter account is, well, gold.

I take everything back. Lets goooo

Arsenal have started very well. Leicester look lost.

We look legitimately great.

Arteta a good manager? This sure Is making the loss last week feel tiny bit less of a sting.

I think I genuinely jizz when ramsdale kicks the ball. The precision and projectory is something else.

At least Smith-Rowe is my first sub this week and not second.

20m evaluation for ESR gonna look poor in hindsight