English Football 2014/2015 - Chelsea Champions
06-18-2014
, 02:18 PM
Well another season has come and gone, and what a season it was. To begin this thread right, let us take a quick look back at the season that was.
We started with replacement managers at three of the England's biggest clubs, and it was very much a case of finding 'The One'. Manchester United brought in 'The Chosen One' to replace the greatest manager ever in English football. Chelsea brought back 'The Special One' to great joy from Chel$ki fans. Manchester City brought in 'The One Who Finishes Second' in the hopes of not finishing second. And it was a formula that succeeded.
But how did he get there? How did a manager with no real success manage to lift the trophy of TBLITW?
Was it his billion dollar team, which spat in the face of Fair Play regulations?
Was it his brazen tactics, taking the severely boring 1-0 wins from Mancini's era to scoring over 100 goals in a season?
I think it's fair to say that City's win came down to one man.
Out with the old
In with the new!
Here are your players.
Arsenal
Arsenal finally have something to celebrate after winning the FA Cup in a fantastic match against Hull. While the trophy is yours, arsenaltrophycase.jpg lives on forever.
Along with this came the terrific news that former captain and cashy favourite Cesc Fabregas is returning to London!
Last season: 4th place trophy.
Aston Villa
Randy Lerner is looking for a buyer for this club destined to finish between 13th and 16th. Always good for a 0-0 home result flutter, especially with Benteke coming off a major injury. Towards the end of the season they seemingly sacked everyone but Lambert for reasons unknown. However they are best remembered for being responsible for the downfall of Chelsea's title run and getting Mourinho sent off, and for that we thank them.
Last season: 15th
Burnley
Congratulations again to resident Burnley fan TallPaul, who fulfilled all his wildest dreams of having Burnley promoted and Owen Coyle getting the boot once again.
A clearly remarkable season for a club predicted to just finish mid table. Always seem to have a very solid striker capable of scoring a ton of goals that is then poached the very next season. Premier League football should change that.
Last season: Promoted ( 2nd Championship)
Chelsea
The Special One came oh so close last season, but is spending big in the right places this time around. The addition of Fabregas and Costa to an already ridiculously attacking lineup should bode incredibly well for the club. Yes, that young, ridiculously attacking lineup that parked the bus to great effect against Liverpool and City, but then failed to bust through the parked bus of powerhouse Norwich in the penultimate fixture to doom their season to mediocrity. Partly responsible for the greatest moment of last season:
And one of the greatest transfer '**** you's' ever in swooping for Willian.
Last season: 3rd
Crystal Palace
What a story. Known lunatic Ian Holloway takes Palace backs to the Premier League, and departs due to “exhaustion” after picking up only three points in only eight games. And in comes everyone's favourite manager, Tony Pulis.
Yes, the man whose managerial tactics inspired the question 'could Messi do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke' took the reigns at a seemingly doomed club...and turned it completely around. A remarkable run in the back half of the season saw them shoot up to safety quite comfortably, and destroyed any lingering hope of a Liverpool title win by coming back from three goals down to draw.
A simply Herculean effort by a God of a man.
Last season: 11th
Everton
Seemingly became everyone's third favourite team (Palace obv) due to the love of Martinez and his transformation of Everton's playing style.
Just very enjoyable to watch, and involved in some of the most entertaining games of last season from a neutral perspective. The question is the effect that loaned stars had on their fate, as Lukaku and Barry are questionable to return, and Deulofeu is surely gone.
Last season: 5th
Hull
Couldn't even beat perennial chokers Arsenal for a trophy. Despite this failure, they managed to finish in their highest ever position in the Football League, and will play in Europe next season. Not bad at all for a team just promoted.
Last season: 16th
Leicester City
Known for the final resting place of Kevin Phillips, who retired at the end of last season.
Won promotion with six games to spare and the Championship with two games to spare, an impressive effort. They lost just one of their last 27 league games, which is pretty damn ridiculous. The owner has said it could take possibly 10 billion Thai Baht and three years to get to the top five in the Premier League. I think I withdrew that amount from an ATM there once, so if I was a fan I wouldn't get my hopes up. Danny Drinkwater plays there, and that's a funny name, and so does the greatest keeper ever.....s son.
Last season: Promoted (1st Championship)
Liverpool
Where to begin. We were privileged to see the dominance of SAS in their first full season together. Well not quite full.
Nevertheless watching Liverpool this season was a treat, and sticking to their largely English roots paid off with attractive football and making up half of England's outfield in their first World Cup match. But this moment was too amazing not to share with you again.
Last season: 2nd
Manchester City
Your champions, though it was touch and go for a very long time. Proud owners of the biggest wage bill, biggest transfer bill, biggest fine, and coincidentally the best squad.
It's bull**** that the number of homegrown players they needed to use in their Champion's League squad was reduced with the actual reduction penalty as this would mean they may have been stuck with Sinclair and Richards. Have been told their wages can't increase this season, then proceeded to sign Sagna on a £140k per week deal. Reminds me of The Scorpion and the Frog: it's just their nature. But hopefully they remember Yaya's birthday next year.
Last season: 1st
Manchester United
Oh dear. It's quite hard to pinpoint where it all went wrong really.
Oh right. They have now proceeded to sign a manager who likes to bring through young players but is known to have a temperament.
They wish. Apparently Van Gaal been given more than 10 billion Thai Baht to help the cause, which is good because they currently have no defence or midfield.
Last season: 7th
Newcastle United
Newcastle bid farewell to Shola Ameobi, who was rumoured to be the biggest A-League signing since Heskey until David Villa joined Melbourne. So now that's no Ameobi, no Cabaye and no Remy. But they still have one man who can change a game in an instant.
Could have been the greatest moment in the season but was outstaged by Gerrard. Signed Colback from Sunderland in a move I'm sure won't have repercussions. Supporters still hate their owner, but they don't really provide much else.
Last season: 10th (really!?)
QPR
A team nobody wanted to see back here. Their constant signing of Premier League has beens somehow paid off and they managed to win their place through the playoff places, something which everyone loved before this atrocity occurred. Managed by this car salesman, who is a top top bloke.
But with this promotion comes hope in the form of a return of Bobbo's elite Power Rankings! Here's hoping for a swift return from where they came.
Last season: Promoted (4th Championship)
Southampton
Played incredibly attractive football last season, resulting in a number of their English stars being poached before the season begins. Lambert has already gone, with Lallana nearly out the door and Shaw sure (see what I did there?) to follow. Not only that, but the manager behind it all has left to replace the GOAT at Spurs. Ronald Koeman has come in, who will probably leave for some other club within a year as he usually does.
Last season: 8th
Stoke City
A 9th place finish settled an age old debate from English Football threads: Mark Hughes is not a bad manager. A run of 7 wins, 2 draws and only 2 losses in the last 11 games of the season thrust Stoke ahead of such superstar teams as Newcastle, lead by their brilliant top scorer.
Have already made a number of shrewd signings in the pre-season, and should finish comfortably mid-table once again.
Last season: 9th
Sunderland
If Ian Holloway is a lunatic, I have no idea what Paolo Di Canio is. Passionate?
While Di Canio managed to save Sunderland in impossible fashion the previous season, his start to the 13/14 campaign was an absolute disaster in which he actually stood in front of supporters at the end of a match and simply took their abuse.
Enter Gus Poyet, whose first win came against Newcastle. A former Premier League star comes in to manage Sunderland and scores a win against Newcastle first time of asking in desperate circumstances. Stop me if you've heard this before. Yet Poyet managed to do the impossible, going on a Wigan-esque run to finish the season, managing to tie with Man City and beat Chelsea and United, all away from home. This impossible feat secured Sunderland's place in the Premier League for another season at least, though surely they can't keep asking for miracles.
Last season: 14th
Swansea
From this:
To out within a year. A pretty harsh sacking, but nice to see that they replaced from within with veteran Garry Monk. Wilfried Bony was their record signing at the start of last season and people weren't sure how he'd fit in with Michu. Now they understand: **** Michu, free Bony.
May this trend continue long into the future.
Last season: 12th
Tottenham Hotspur
Last season: 6th
West Bromwich Albion
Unfortunately WBA lost the Lukaku sweepstakes this season and so Steven Clarke was doomed from the off. Pepe Mel didn't last, and the management roundabout has ended up with Alan Irvine, the former Everton youth coach.
I know nothing about this man, and while he clearly had a great mentor, I can't imagine he was the highest profile applicant. There were surely other options available!
Last season: 17th
West Ham United
Unfortunately I support Bolton, so have nothing but love for Big Sam. He deserves to be at Real Madrid like he wants, instead he's stuck with this lot and Hoopie. Many thought Andy Carroll would fit his ingenious tactic of 'boot it into the box' but that has yet to be seen.
Kevin Nolan follows Big Sam wherever he goes, and I think a large number of the West Ham squad previously played at Bolton. I still can't support them though, because they somehow play an even more boring and bland form of hoofball than we used to. They will still avoid relegation, because that's what Big Sam does.
Last season: 13th
Here is the first round of fixtures.
And the best part is there's no extended break from our favourite sport due to everyone's favourite international fixtures, which I'm still lead to believe is the worst thing in the world.
Let us Lolerpool, Arselol, Burnlol, Crystlol Plolace, and whatever other associated lols you can fit.
We started with replacement managers at three of the England's biggest clubs, and it was very much a case of finding 'The One'. Manchester United brought in 'The Chosen One' to replace the greatest manager ever in English football. Chelsea brought back 'The Special One' to great joy from Chel$ki fans. Manchester City brought in 'The One Who Finishes Second' in the hopes of not finishing second. And it was a formula that succeeded.
But how did he get there? How did a manager with no real success manage to lift the trophy of TBLITW?
Was it his billion dollar team, which spat in the face of Fair Play regulations?
Was it his brazen tactics, taking the severely boring 1-0 wins from Mancini's era to scoring over 100 goals in a season?
I think it's fair to say that City's win came down to one man.
Out with the old
In with the new!
Spoiler:
Here are your players.
Arsenal
Arsenal finally have something to celebrate after winning the FA Cup in a fantastic match against Hull. While the trophy is yours, arsenaltrophycase.jpg lives on forever.
Along with this came the terrific news that former captain and cashy favourite Cesc Fabregas is returning to London!
Last season: 4th place trophy.
Aston Villa
Randy Lerner is looking for a buyer for this club destined to finish between 13th and 16th. Always good for a 0-0 home result flutter, especially with Benteke coming off a major injury. Towards the end of the season they seemingly sacked everyone but Lambert for reasons unknown. However they are best remembered for being responsible for the downfall of Chelsea's title run and getting Mourinho sent off, and for that we thank them.
Last season: 15th
Burnley
Congratulations again to resident Burnley fan TallPaul, who fulfilled all his wildest dreams of having Burnley promoted and Owen Coyle getting the boot once again.
A clearly remarkable season for a club predicted to just finish mid table. Always seem to have a very solid striker capable of scoring a ton of goals that is then poached the very next season. Premier League football should change that.
Last season: Promoted ( 2nd Championship)
Chelsea
The Special One came oh so close last season, but is spending big in the right places this time around. The addition of Fabregas and Costa to an already ridiculously attacking lineup should bode incredibly well for the club. Yes, that young, ridiculously attacking lineup that parked the bus to great effect against Liverpool and City, but then failed to bust through the parked bus of powerhouse Norwich in the penultimate fixture to doom their season to mediocrity. Partly responsible for the greatest moment of last season:
And one of the greatest transfer '**** you's' ever in swooping for Willian.
Last season: 3rd
Crystal Palace
What a story. Known lunatic Ian Holloway takes Palace backs to the Premier League, and departs due to “exhaustion” after picking up only three points in only eight games. And in comes everyone's favourite manager, Tony Pulis.
Yes, the man whose managerial tactics inspired the question 'could Messi do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke' took the reigns at a seemingly doomed club...and turned it completely around. A remarkable run in the back half of the season saw them shoot up to safety quite comfortably, and destroyed any lingering hope of a Liverpool title win by coming back from three goals down to draw.
A simply Herculean effort by a God of a man.
Last season: 11th
Everton
Seemingly became everyone's third favourite team (Palace obv) due to the love of Martinez and his transformation of Everton's playing style.
Just very enjoyable to watch, and involved in some of the most entertaining games of last season from a neutral perspective. The question is the effect that loaned stars had on their fate, as Lukaku and Barry are questionable to return, and Deulofeu is surely gone.
Last season: 5th
Hull
Couldn't even beat perennial chokers Arsenal for a trophy. Despite this failure, they managed to finish in their highest ever position in the Football League, and will play in Europe next season. Not bad at all for a team just promoted.
Last season: 16th
Leicester City
Known for the final resting place of Kevin Phillips, who retired at the end of last season.
Won promotion with six games to spare and the Championship with two games to spare, an impressive effort. They lost just one of their last 27 league games, which is pretty damn ridiculous. The owner has said it could take possibly 10 billion Thai Baht and three years to get to the top five in the Premier League. I think I withdrew that amount from an ATM there once, so if I was a fan I wouldn't get my hopes up. Danny Drinkwater plays there, and that's a funny name, and so does the greatest keeper ever.....s son.
Last season: Promoted (1st Championship)
Liverpool
Where to begin. We were privileged to see the dominance of SAS in their first full season together. Well not quite full.
Nevertheless watching Liverpool this season was a treat, and sticking to their largely English roots paid off with attractive football and making up half of England's outfield in their first World Cup match. But this moment was too amazing not to share with you again.
Last season: 2nd
Manchester City
Your champions, though it was touch and go for a very long time. Proud owners of the biggest wage bill, biggest transfer bill, biggest fine, and coincidentally the best squad.
It's bull**** that the number of homegrown players they needed to use in their Champion's League squad was reduced with the actual reduction penalty as this would mean they may have been stuck with Sinclair and Richards. Have been told their wages can't increase this season, then proceeded to sign Sagna on a £140k per week deal. Reminds me of The Scorpion and the Frog: it's just their nature. But hopefully they remember Yaya's birthday next year.
Last season: 1st
Manchester United
Oh dear. It's quite hard to pinpoint where it all went wrong really.
Oh right. They have now proceeded to sign a manager who likes to bring through young players but is known to have a temperament.
They wish. Apparently Van Gaal been given more than 10 billion Thai Baht to help the cause, which is good because they currently have no defence or midfield.
Last season: 7th
Newcastle United
Newcastle bid farewell to Shola Ameobi, who was rumoured to be the biggest A-League signing since Heskey until David Villa joined Melbourne. So now that's no Ameobi, no Cabaye and no Remy. But they still have one man who can change a game in an instant.
Could have been the greatest moment in the season but was outstaged by Gerrard. Signed Colback from Sunderland in a move I'm sure won't have repercussions. Supporters still hate their owner, but they don't really provide much else.
Last season: 10th (really!?)
QPR
A team nobody wanted to see back here. Their constant signing of Premier League has beens somehow paid off and they managed to win their place through the playoff places, something which everyone loved before this atrocity occurred. Managed by this car salesman, who is a top top bloke.
But with this promotion comes hope in the form of a return of Bobbo's elite Power Rankings! Here's hoping for a swift return from where they came.
Spoiler:
Last season: Promoted (4th Championship)
Southampton
Played incredibly attractive football last season, resulting in a number of their English stars being poached before the season begins. Lambert has already gone, with Lallana nearly out the door and Shaw sure (see what I did there?) to follow. Not only that, but the manager behind it all has left to replace the GOAT at Spurs. Ronald Koeman has come in, who will probably leave for some other club within a year as he usually does.
Last season: 8th
Stoke City
A 9th place finish settled an age old debate from English Football threads: Mark Hughes is not a bad manager. A run of 7 wins, 2 draws and only 2 losses in the last 11 games of the season thrust Stoke ahead of such superstar teams as Newcastle, lead by their brilliant top scorer.
Have already made a number of shrewd signings in the pre-season, and should finish comfortably mid-table once again.
Last season: 9th
Sunderland
If Ian Holloway is a lunatic, I have no idea what Paolo Di Canio is. Passionate?
While Di Canio managed to save Sunderland in impossible fashion the previous season, his start to the 13/14 campaign was an absolute disaster in which he actually stood in front of supporters at the end of a match and simply took their abuse.
Enter Gus Poyet, whose first win came against Newcastle. A former Premier League star comes in to manage Sunderland and scores a win against Newcastle first time of asking in desperate circumstances. Stop me if you've heard this before. Yet Poyet managed to do the impossible, going on a Wigan-esque run to finish the season, managing to tie with Man City and beat Chelsea and United, all away from home. This impossible feat secured Sunderland's place in the Premier League for another season at least, though surely they can't keep asking for miracles.
Last season: 14th
Swansea
From this:
To out within a year. A pretty harsh sacking, but nice to see that they replaced from within with veteran Garry Monk. Wilfried Bony was their record signing at the start of last season and people weren't sure how he'd fit in with Michu. Now they understand: **** Michu, free Bony.
May this trend continue long into the future.
Last season: 12th
Tottenham Hotspur
Last season: 6th
West Bromwich Albion
Unfortunately WBA lost the Lukaku sweepstakes this season and so Steven Clarke was doomed from the off. Pepe Mel didn't last, and the management roundabout has ended up with Alan Irvine, the former Everton youth coach.
I know nothing about this man, and while he clearly had a great mentor, I can't imagine he was the highest profile applicant. There were surely other options available!
Last season: 17th
West Ham United
Unfortunately I support Bolton, so have nothing but love for Big Sam. He deserves to be at Real Madrid like he wants, instead he's stuck with this lot and Hoopie. Many thought Andy Carroll would fit his ingenious tactic of 'boot it into the box' but that has yet to be seen.
Kevin Nolan follows Big Sam wherever he goes, and I think a large number of the West Ham squad previously played at Bolton. I still can't support them though, because they somehow play an even more boring and bland form of hoofball than we used to. They will still avoid relegation, because that's what Big Sam does.
Last season: 13th
Here is the first round of fixtures.
And the best part is there's no extended break from our favourite sport due to everyone's favourite international fixtures, which I'm still lead to believe is the worst thing in the world.
Let us Lolerpool, Arselol, Burnlol, Crystlol Plolace, and whatever other associated lols you can fit.
06-18-2014
, 02:20 PM
to OP
06-18-2014
, 02:57 PM
06-18-2014
, 03:00 PM
06-18-2014
, 03:24 PM
06-18-2014
, 03:59 PM
06-18-2014
, 04:24 PM
Great OP!
You better believe the power rankings will be back!
I can provide a full report on our team, once it starts to actually shake out. We have a ton of holes and question marks so I'm just going to wait this out.
Quote:
QPR
A team nobody wanted to see back here. Their constant signing of Premier League has beens somehow paid off and they managed to win their place through the playoff places, something which everyone loved before this atrocity occurred. Managed by this car salesman, who is a top top bloke.
But with this promotion comes hope in the form of a return of Bobbo's elite Power Rankings! Here's hoping for a swift return from where they came.
Last season: Promoted (4th Championship)
.
QPR
A team nobody wanted to see back here. Their constant signing of Premier League has beens somehow paid off and they managed to win their place through the playoff places, something which everyone loved before this atrocity occurred. Managed by this car salesman, who is a top top bloke.
But with this promotion comes hope in the form of a return of Bobbo's elite Power Rankings! Here's hoping for a swift return from where they came.
Spoiler:
Last season: Promoted (4th Championship)
.
I can provide a full report on our team, once it starts to actually shake out. We have a ton of holes and question marks so I'm just going to wait this out.
