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Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever)

08-27-2012 , 04:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteGoose
I dunno, maybe it's mostly anecdotal, but a significant amount of the girls I've known who have played hockey at a competitive level from the ages of like 16-21 are very attractive.
Hook me up?
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 04:36 PM
Come to Canada and live with me for a year or two.

Last edited by WhiteGoose; 08-27-2012 at 04:36 PM. Reason: serious offer
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 04:41 PM
I checked out of this thread because I had been banished to the golf course and I just discovered Geddy is posting softball girl TRs. Re-subscribed.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 05:22 PM
My college didn't have a women's hockey team but they did have a synchronized skating team. Meaning it was like 20 of the female figure skater types all on the ice together. They would be practicing all the time when I was setting up my broadcast equipment or before or after the hockey practices or whatever. They were pretty good. Basically, it was figure skater quality, except there were 20 of them.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 05:41 PM
Yeah synchronized skating is compelling. I don't know why it's not in the Olympics because you see it going on in arenas more than individual or pair skating. Who knows. But yeah, most ice rinks in Canada are always having to split their time between hockey and figure skating, so whenever you're getting ready for practice or w/e you are often waiting for some synchro skaters to leave the ice. They are often cuties.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 06:02 PM
TSN is already planning programming in case of the lockout.

They'll be showing the 1987 Canada Cup, starting in mid-September.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 07:55 PM
They should broadcast AHL games, just to remind me why I never went to them.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 08:04 PM
geddy, i have great news for you and your people.

Bykov is officially the coach of the Polish national team. Plan the ensuing World Championship gold medalist parades.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 09:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerhands
They should broadcast AHL games, just to remind me why I never went to them.

Oh well. Too bad for you.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 11:54 PM
Last lockout Edmonton got the "Roadrunners" AHL team for a year. Does anyone know if any AHL teams will popup in NHL markets if there is another lockout?

Regardless we'll have the Oil Kings to watch this year, can't complain with the product they put out there last year.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-27-2012 , 11:56 PM
A team of GOATs won the AHL title in '04-05.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicroBob
Well, I guess I can try. Not really sure I'm actually missing that much. But yeah, the idea that softball and hockey girls are somehow considered good looking is pretty amusing.
Beer league softball though?
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 12:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteGoose
Come to Canada and live with me for a year or two.
I don't quite know about moving, but we should def get the ultimate lady-slaying team of goofy+WG+Geddy together to drop all the panties in Toronto
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 01:00 AM
Boys,

Real women play hockey.

You can have all the 95lb makeup pads who take an hour and a half to get ready to go out for milk and whine about not getting a new pair of Jimmy Cho's this week and I'll take the 125lb sneaky hot, down to earth, d women who are up for anything and don't give a **** what color their nails are.

Peace,

Adam
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08-28-2012 , 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyballer
I don't quite know about moving, but we should def get the ultimate lady-slaying team of goofy+WG+Geddy together to drop all the panties in Toronto
The girls are too sassy in Toronto.

We would have to go to Midland, Ontario. aka Cheatertown, Ontario aka Slutville, Ontario aka Land of the Guaranteed Pussy, Ontario. Geddy has been there. He knows what's good

I mean I drove by the bar there a few months ago after work, and there was a chick blowing a dude on the grass outside the Tim Horton's across the street.

Barrie is fine too. I mean, we could do Toronto but you need a lot of money and swag to score in Toronto. In Midland, it's just free pussy for the world.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamSchwartz
Boys,

Real women play hockey.

You can have all the 95lb makeup pads who take an hour and a half to get ready to go out for milk and whine about not getting a new pair of Jimmy Cho's this week and I'll take the 125lb sneaky hot, down to earth, d women who are up for anything and don't give a **** what color their nails are.

Peace,

Adam
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 01:51 AM
WG, I will let you be my guide!
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 04:23 AM
Ok here is a small tour of Midland, ON from a wheeling girls point of view.

Spoiler:


I don't know where they found so many colourful boats for that picture. Usually they are more plain there. Mel Gibson actually had his 70 foot yacht docked at that harbour for a few weeks in the summer of 2010.

Midland, along with adjoining towns Penetanguishene and Tiny are home to about 30k residents. In the summer, that number increases to over 100k as it is a large cottaging community and just a pretty jolly spot to spend the summer. You get a fair chunk of the longest freshwater white sand beach in the world... clear water, hot sun and perfect swimming conditions.

Spoiler:






Those are some of my instagrammed pictures of the beach... hard to believe that is Canada sometimes. I wouldn't want to spend my summers anywhere else.


I've been cottaging there 2-3 weeks each summer with my family at our cottage my whole life, and since the summer of 2008, when I was 18 going on 19, working there full time while living from May-Sept alone at that cottage, with the exception of 3 or 4 weeks when the family uses it for vacation (where I still live there, but I have company.)

It takes a long time to get close to the locals. In fact, I probably didn't really start to get that in depth with the community until last summer. At first, the culture up there seems a lot like city life. But the more and more you get involved, the more you learn the little things that make it different. These are important facts about the sexual culture in Midland I have learned from my time there.

(NSFW text)


Spoiler:
- average age of girls losing virginity is a late 14/early 15. Usually late grade 9, summer before or during grade 10 is typical. You hear many stories of 12 and 13 in the area.

- every girl ever born and raised in Midland has cheated on their boyfriend. They just don't, not cheat. If you're in a relationship with a girl in Midland, you might as well assume you are going to be cheated on. They are just rampant, **** fienders.

- about 90% of girls try (and continue to enjoy) anal sex before they are 20 years old.

- the majority of girls hit a double digit kill count by the time they are 18 years old. Typical would be 6 or 7 in high school, then 2-3 more the summer before university.

- no one uses condoms. Most girls are on birth control. Condoms are unheard of in Midland. And they're immune to all STDs. You never hear of people with STDs in Midland. And it's a small town so you hear EVERYTHING.

- resultingly, around 50% of girls have their first pregnancy before they are 21 years old. This is why you get on that when they're 18 or 19.

- the top ~25% of wealthy families (equivalently 100% of families with hot daughters) who are permanent residents, also tend to have a cottage only a few minutes away from their house. This means the girl always has access to an abode where her parents are absent. Usually the parents are at the cottage on the weekends, so you go to her house. And through the week the parents are at home, so you go to the cottage.

- it's a small town and things are far apart, so all girls have their own cars and drive. They are actually willing to drive to your place to hook up. This never happens in a city.

- the majority of men 18-30 years old in Midland earn minimum wage, many have criminal records, suspended drivers licenses, etc. Being a "rich" city boy, and by rich I mean anyone making over $20/hr, will get you laid. They can tell if you have the city boy swag and they love it. Basically, if you hold a legitimate job and dress well, you have several legs up on the other guys. Most guys there still wear like, boardshorts and snowboard brands and crappy ball hats. Yeah. So basically there is 0 competition.

- the summer effect - everywhere there are generally a lot of hookups April-July, and full fledged summer flings July-August, but this effect is amplified in Midland by a huge percentage of the young population coming home from school, and very "summertime" atmosphere with beaches and fields everywhere and beautiful summer evenings. It's just different in cities. You can't have a bonfire on the beach and take a girl back to your cottage. In Midland this is just what you do. There is nothing like the romance of being alone at a cottage with your girl, spending all day on the beach, driving around, kissing outside at night hearing the loud-but-ambient buzz of the insects in the background... you can't help but fall in love.



So yeah. That's Midland & area. Guaranteed hook ups everywhere. In Toronto, you actually have to be rich and buy girls 3-4 drinks before they will even look at you. Then, odds are you don't have a legit place to stay. Have you seen student housing in Toronto? Lol you pay $650 for a total dump and I can't believe girls actually go back to these places to bang. Apartments cost billions of dollars and none of us can afford a condo in downtown TO. Midland? There is always a beautiful place to take your girl. And in the rare case there's not, you can just go bang on the beach with no one around. That's actually romantic and stuff, whereas the Toronto equivalent is banging in a back alley. But knowing the girls from Midland, they'd probably be down for that anyways.

So there you go. Come to Canada next summer and we will hang out in the lovely town of Midland, Ontario!
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 04:45 AM
honest question: how do you know so much about midland?
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 04:50 AM
I'm honestly not sure if you're being serious, but maybe you missed the part explaining that I've lived there May-Sept since 2008, and have been spending 2-3 weeks there every year before that.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 04:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteGoose
I'm honestly not sure if you're being serious, but maybe you missed the part explaining that I've lived there May-Sept since 2008, and have been spending 2-3 weeks there every year before that.
your prominent rise to dominance in SE was a phase i missed out on. i caught the rise and am hitting your career arc again now. i know you went away to a cabin every year to work and the stories you post on 2p2 about the girl. i never knew it was midland. i just pictured it as a summer beach place-thing.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 07:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdamSchwartz
Boys,

Real women play hockey.

You can have all the 95lb makeup pads who take an hour and a half to get ready to go out for milk and whine about not getting a new pair of Jimmy Cho's this week and I'll take the 125lb sneaky hot, down to earth, d women who are up for anything and don't give a **** what color their nails are.

Peace,

Adam


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pudge714
I checked out of this thread because I had been banished to the golf course and I just discovered Geddy is posting softball girl TRs. Re-subscribed.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sylar
geddy, i have great news for you and your people.

Bykov is officially the coach of the Polish national team. Plan the ensuing World Championship gold medalist parades.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Avalanche333
What are you studying in grad school Geddy?
Doing my MBA at McMaster University; it's a co-op program, so it'll be 28 months and I'll graduate in early '15, but that also means I've got another 2+ years of Mac hockey TR's.

And I will get the London UK/London, ON TR done at some point but just very busy this week.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJay
Last lockout Edmonton got the "Roadrunners" AHL team for a year. Does anyone know if any AHL teams will popup in NHL markets if there is another lockout?

Regardless we'll have the Oil Kings to watch this year, can't complain with the product they put out there last year.

No, that was a special situation.

The former Toronto Roadrunners had lasted for only one year and their attendance was lousy and they were losing money. So you had a desperate owner looking for a place to play plus the anticipation that the 04-05 lockout would be really long....perhaps for the whole season. Thankfully, the advace anticipation of losing the whole season is not the same this time around.

Anyway, after their season in Edmonton the AHL team folded. You don't have a team desperate enough and looking to get out at the last minute or anything like that which is pretty much what it takes.

No AHL teams are moving or leaving their cities or in real trouble. There are a smattering of AHL games that will be played in NHL arenas but that's just like every year really. Minnesota will get one home for their Houston team. Washington will get one game too. Montreal will get one or two games.

The AHL schedules were released a couple weeks ago and they can't really change.

even if the NHL said tomorrow that the first two months are definitely not happening it just isn't very easy to pluck a team like Oklahoma City and tell them to play their games in Edmonton instead. Their opponents have already made travel plans which includes flights in coach on regular planes and stuff. And the Oklahoma team would have to refund angry season ticket holders etc. Among other reasons.

Maybe some increased TV coverage or something so you can watch Nugent-Hopkins light up AHL defenses.

Last edited by MicroBob; 08-28-2012 at 08:46 AM.
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 02:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteGoose
Spoiler:
- about 90% of girls try (and continue to enjoy) anal sex before they are 20 years old.
lolll wattttt

Excellent report Goose
Bettman Lockout III Thread (aka NHL Offseason: Now & Forever) Quote
08-28-2012 , 03:37 PM
Why is the boy who lost his viginity like a week ago talking about my ass?
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