Quote:
Originally Posted by microbet
That's pretty much what I was saying about Boeing. But even there if you're in a small work group it's fraught. But love >>>> work, so like Pincess Bride kind of true love is one thing, but tinder style hookups are another.
I'm not saying you're arguing this but yet again I would point out "well, the heart wants what it wants / chemistry I just couldn't help it / love is a heckuva drug" etc etc are all arguments that assume people lack agency to stop themselves from dating at work.
I will begin shouting now that I UNDERSTAND THERE ARE MATTERS OF DEGREES
AND YET
...the distance between "the heart wants what it wants and I just couldn't help myself asking her out on a date, love is a cruel mistress, my heart was burning with desire, we had so much chemistry" is sort perhaps only a short distance away from what stooges use to justify their unwanted harassment. Or worse. Just varying degrees of my libido/romantic desires overcame my rational side and I just had to act.
I find them uncompelling. I can, for instance, acknowledge say the strong biological urge to masturbate and yet I would expect any employee in a professional setting to behave themselves and wait until they get home or wherever people jerk off.
So I find all arguments that are like "well, dating at work, just accept it, love is so powerful" to be uncompelling removal of agency from the speaker. People absolutely have control over who they pursue, romantically, and you remove all the grey areas by enforcing norms against dating and flirtation so that people with low self-awareness, no social graces, *******s, etc. or a combination can't hide behind ambiguity to turn the workplace into their own personal Tinder.
All arguments after that where people continue to shrug or justify the practice of dating at work feel like simple social choices, much like gun ownership. I'm not outraged by them, I understand the assumptions, but they sound like this to me, the same way gun owners do when there's a mass shooting: yeah well we know there's all this sexual harassment and it seems like a pretty bad epidemic but we value the social freedom to flirt and date on the job without much censorship more than we value the scores of harassed women.